sunlight through the trees

have you ever wondered
what has happened
in the history of the world

so that you can just lie on the grass
let the heat shimmer on your thighs
listen to the birds singing
and watch
the sunlight through the trees

?

would i be here
here and now
if anne boleyn had died
an old woman in her bed?

would i be here
here and now
if you hadn't said the things
that you have have said?

you have become

finally

the kind of person i can say this to.

i see now
you're much like me.

you have my anger.

and

oh god

how it scares me...

i used to amuse myself
with endless possibilities...
things that would never happen.

but now i can see the sinister glow
in the sunlight through the trees.

i am not
the little girl
i used to be.

the most frightening part is
it is desperately,
heartbreakingly,
so breathtakingly beautiful.

and i will never think otherwise.
of it,
of me,
and of you.