Mistake

One of my favourite songs - Mistake by Stephanie MacIntosh.

Rushin' way too fast,
Why do I always do this?
Thinkin' this might last,
How could I be so stupid?
But this time,
I'm not okay, no
I need to breathe again.

'Cause I don't want to...

I don't want to make another mistake like you,
And I don't want to hate,
But love doesn't get me through.
'Cause I can be alone again,
No, I don't want to make another mistake...like you.

Stone cold and hurt inside,
Not how I wanted to be.
I don't sleep,
It's kinda hard when you cry;
Yeah, that's where you left me.
But this time,
I'm not alright, no
I need to find someone...

'Cause I don't want to...

I don't want to make another mistake like you,
And I don't want to hate,
But love doesn't get me through.
And I can be alone again,
No, I don't want to make another mistake like you.

Don't wanna be caught in the moment that never comes;
Is it too much to ask that real love could find me?
I won't get stung
I'll find the one...

But I don't want to make another mistake like you,
And I don't want to hate,
But love doesn't get me through.
'Cause I can be alone again,
No, I don't want to make another mistake...
I don't want to make another mistake like you,
And I don't want to hate,
But love doesn't get me through.
'Cause I can be alone again,
No, I don't want to make another mistake...

yeah, communitychannel and i think on the same wavelengths...

Mood: hungry
Listening to: "Mistake" by Stephanie McIntosh
Hungry for: dinner!

This is what I mean about the 'msn thing' (or the IM thing if you're American):



Seriously.

Another thing that is touched on in that vid that also bugs me to no end is when teachers say that I'm not living up to potential. Because, the things is, I have four kinds of teachers: the teachers who teach subjects that I try really hard at and give me nice comments in my report, the teachers who teach subjects I don't try hard at but give me nice comments because they're retarded and don't know I could do 200% better, the teachers who teach subjects that I try really hard at but give me lousy comments and give my parents the whole 'Lady Renegade is not reaching her potential' crap, and, the rarities, the teachers who teach subjects that I don't try really hard at, and therefore are well within their rights to moan about my test results.

Oh, and if you're a teacher that reads this, then YOU DON'T FIT INTO THE LAST CATEGORY. Don't flatter yourself.

I mean, I know most teachers don't know what they're talking about when they say all that potential garbage. I've had teachers who have said that I am working brilliantly when in fact I do all the homework at about three in the morning, guessing half of it and copying the rest, and I've had other teachers who just can't accept I'm not good at pi and the periodic table. For most teachers, when they say that, it's just a bluff. They just want to show the world that they know what they're talking about when they don't, and they want to show the world that I'm a lazy fat-arse Asian. Of course, that is exactly what I am, but only I am allowed to say that.

I'm sorry I haven't been posting super regularly, and I know my posts haven't been super interesting either. But a couple of things have been annoying me lately, like...

my eyeshadow that seems to wear off every six seconds.

my lipgloss that isn't behaving. I squeeze it for half an hour and nothing comes out, and then when I'm just about to give up and give it one last pinch and then half the tube comes gushing out.

and other stupid things, like how my hair sticks to my lips when I've just glossed them, so I end up with deglossified lips and sticky hair, and how foundation peels off no matter *what* you do...

sigh. the trials or being a girl.

Or it could just be the trials of being Lady Renegade...

facebook.

Mood: reluctant
Listening to: '7 Things' by Miley Cyrus
Hungry for: anything

Okay, I give in.

I'm getting Facebook.

Don't expect either of them to be interesting.

People who randomly stop talking...and then sign out.

Mood: hungry
Listening to: 'I'm Only Me When I'm With You' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for: noodles

I know I'm not exactly the funnest person to talk to on msn, but seriously, I hate it when this happens:

Lady Renegade: hey
...Ten Minutes Later...
Lady Renegade: hey
*Lady Renegade sends a nudge*
RandomGit: hey
Lady Renegade: what up?
RandomGit: nm
...Twenty Minutes Later...
Lady Renegade: u there?
*RandomGit appears to be offline*

I mean, seriously. I'm not that bad.

Or, this happens:

*RandomGit has just signed in*
Lady Renegade: hey!
*RandomGit appears to be offline*
...Ten Minutes Later...
*RandomGit has just signed in*
Lady Renegade: hey!
*RandomGit appears to be offline*

Yeah, nice talking to you too.

Team...?

As a Twilighter, the most common question you get asked by other Twilighters is: Are you Team Edward, Team Jacob, or Team Switzerland?

For all you non-Twilighters there, Team Edward is, obviously, a group of people who believe Bella made the right choice staying with Edward, and Team Jacob is a group of people who believe that Bella should have gone to Jacob. Team Switzerland are people who either like Edward and Jacob equally, hate Edward and Jacob equally, seriously don't care about the love triangle, or people who don't want to start World War Three amongst the obsessed Edward freaks and the people who drool for Jacob.

When I first got into the series, I was, no doubt, Team Edward. Jacob was a seriously annoying character to me, and, at that time, Edward was pretty much synonymous to my perfect man. For me, at that time, it was a no-brainer.

But as I grew, as I fell in love more often and had my heart broken more and more deeply, I started to see Jacob's point of view. Jacob, after all, is an annoying character, but he can't help it. He wants what he can't have, he's in love with a girl who's boyfriend is the most formidable love opponent in the history of the world. I hate to admit it, but I was pretty much in his shoes at one point, and, sadly I still am in many ways.

But now, I'm kind of in the middle. Team Switzerland, I guess. Instead of sympathizing with Edward, or with Jacob, I now sympathize with Bella. I know what it's like to be in love with someone who's not exactly good for you (and I know what it's like to be in love with someone as white as a ghost. Lol.), and I know how hard it is to be in love with a friend, but never able to fully love him, openly.

I used to think, poor Edward. Jacob must seriously be annoying. Then I thought, poor Jacob. His situation must be so heartbreaking.

Now, I think...poor Bella, her situation must be so...confusing.

7 Things

Dedicated to the boy who lives in Perth, has an Apple Mac and uses Safari...

Why?

It is so disgusting, in this day and age, that feminism is frowned upon in most societies.

I mean, this isn't the middle ages. This 2009.

Because, face the facts, men and women are far from equal. Anyone who thinks that we are now equal and that feminists should keep their mouths shut should think of all those women in places like Africa, India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and all those other places where women are silenced and their rights abused and non-existant. You think about every single one of those women before you say that women now have their rightful place in this world. You think about women, even in the most civilized and sophisticated of societies, who's rights are still not equal to that of men's.

The common assumption is that all feminists are agressive, power-hungry bitches who won't stop until all men have been suppressed to slavery. And trust me, I've heard all of it: feminists hate men, feminists are all lesbians, feminists all hate children...I've heard all of this said to my face, and it's disgusting. We don't call any other group of people degratory terms like that, simply because they fight for what they believe in. It's all very well to say that men were born to rule and that it is a woman's place to listen and be obedient, but you put yourselves in our shoes. We didn't ask to be born women - in fact, I've openly admitted that I'd much rather have been born a man. So why should we be punished for something that is out of our control?

Me? I'm a feminist, and bloody proud of it. I'll be a feminist to the day I die. I'll be a feminist whilst every fucking bastard who is a fucking male chauvinist contaminates perfectly good air by breathing.

I'm a feminist no matter what.

It's the little things that make me think big...

...do men use shampoo? I hardly ever see men in the shampoo aisle, and I have never in my life seen a man pick up a bottle of shampoo and put it in their basket.

...who can you discuss acne treatments with? You can't discuss it with people who have acne, because, firstly, they haven't found a very good cure yet and therefore any acne-related discussion with them is pointless, and secondly, most people I've met that have acne are convinced they have a flawless baby-bum cmplexion - a very dubious and debateable claim, but they believe in it so religiously and fanatically I decide most of the time not to burst their little bubble. And you can't really talk about acne with people who don't have it - because, most people my age who don't have acne (lucky bitches) have probably never had a spot in their lives, and probably never will.

...have you ever noticed it's the little things that piss teachers off the most? The things that don't really matter, like if a student is wearing the wrong coloured socks or if they arrive six and a half milliseconds late for class. I mean, do these things really matter? No, they don't. But teachers get so wound up about them. If it wasn't seriously annoying, it is actually quite funny.

...why do people get so worked up over swear words? As a little kid, I never used to get it, and I don't think I do now or ever will. I mean, they're just words, you know, just sounds. Just random things you do with your mouth and tongue and voicebox. I mean, it's not the word itself that is offensive, it's whatever crazy shit we have come to associate with it.

...whoever put me on this earth as a fat asian kid was a twit. Seriously. I mean, this movie called Life...who the hell cast this thing?

...why is it that the guy always has to ask out the girl? I mean, I've never seen a relationship work out when it's the girl that does the asking, which is quite unfair. It just shows that guys are too...I don't know. Unaccomodating. So, the girl who asked you out wasn't exactly the one you were looking for. Who cares? You might not even know what you were looking for in the beginning, and this girl could be perfect for you. I mean, we always get asked out by random guys that we wouldn't really consider perfect boyfriend material, but most of them are actually quite nice. Most of them. Some of them are just jerks.

...It's always intrigued me how much the world is so obsessed with what other people think. I mean, it's their fault they burst into tears when you say 'your hair looks nice' to them, not yours. Why are we so uptight about these things? Why are we so upset when someone blows up over nothing? It's their loss. I mean, social etiquette and taboos suck. They contradict our free lives.

And there are a few of the many little things that make me think big.

Couple Envy...

I know most people kind of forget about those miserable bachelors and irritable spinsters when they're madly in love, but seriously...

Don't.

Okay, I know that's a pretty hypocritical comment, because for the entire 8 days I have ever been a girlfriend in my life I get pretty oblivious to the woes of being single, but seriously...

It's insanely annoying.

I mean, is it really so hard to stay away from each other when other people are around? It's like, common courtesy, isn't it? It's like, if you've got something really exxy that you know your best friend can't afford, you don't go flaunting the fact you have one and she doesn't right in front of her povvo face.

Same thing.

So, because couples make me feel intensely uncomfortable, I return the favour. Seriously - the greatest fun is bugging the shit out of couples, tagging along and acting like a whiney five year old. Most people think that I'm just clueless, but, trust me, I'm not. I'm just very good at payback.

And just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you abandon everything else. Because, family is forever, friends are whatever, best friends stay together, and boys are heartbreakers.

Me:

I look like...Cho Chang/Ugly Betty

I dress like...Bella Swan/Alice Cullen/Rosalie Hale/Hermione Granger/Ginny Weasley

I eat like...Augustus Gloop

My perfect man is...Edward Cullen (if he looked like Jacob he'd be *perfect*)

I'm crazy like...Alice Cullen

I'm boy-crazy like...Lavander Brown/Romilda Vane/Ginny Weasley

I'm a shopaholic like...Alice Cullen

I'm a hopeless romantic like...Elizabeth Bennett

I'm clumsy and a magnet for trouble like...Anne Shirley

I wish I looked like...Bella Swan/Hermione Granger/Ginny Weasley/Alice Cullen/Rosalie Hale/Leah Clearwater...anyone, really...

I am...Lady Renegade.