thy four tens hath come.

Hey guys...I'll see y'all in forty hours.

Wish me luck.

Legolas.

It makes no sense, but we call her Legolas.

She's nonsensical.

Who is she? She's blonde, she's beautiful, she's Friday.

Who is she? She's evil, she's dumb, she's bitchy.

Who is she? She's the ignorant who preys not on the innocent, but the intelligent,

Who is she? My foil, my foe, my enemy.

Who is she? I am her foil, her foe, her enemy.

Who is she? She thinks she's the innocent and intelligent who preys on the ignorant.

Who is she? She thinks I'm evil, I'm dumb, I'm bitchy.

Who is she? She knows she's blonde, she's beautiful, she's Friday.

She's nonsensical.

It makes no sense, but that's why we call her Legolas.

Five Reasons Why Australians Should Not Vote For Ms Gillard As PM

As I have said over and over, I have no problem with religious people. I do have a problem with religion, but I believe in religious freedom and I think that everyone has the right to believe, or not believe, in whatever they bloody want.

But I'm sick and tired of this small, insanely annoying percentage of the religious population taking such a biased, stupid, and narrow-minded perspective they make everyone who is religious look bad. Like this son of a gun who wrote this article: Five Reasons Why Australians Should Not Vote For Ms Gillard as PM. The five reasons were:

1. A vote for Labor is a vote for the Greens
2. Ms Gillard is living in a de facto relationship
3. Ms Gillard is an Atheist
4. Ms Gillard doesn't have children
5. Mis Gillard refuses to take the Oath on the Bible.

This is a load of utter shit. Excuse my French.

First things first, I personally wouldn't vote for Labor - I'm a born-again Greenie. I just don't agree with some of Labor's policies, and that's just that. I may be underaged, but I still have the right to political freedom.

As for the first of the retarded reasons, if a vote for Labor is a vote for the Greens, then I am sure as hell voting for Labor. The Greens are the clear, modern way forward. What does this dude - Dr Nalliah - have against the Greens? Oh, wait, yeah, I remember. Legalizing gay marriage. God, you'd think that this is the stone age - gay people are not sons of the devil, they're not all mass murderers, they're not abnormal or unnatural or whatever. Gay people are just normal people and they deserve the same rights.

The second reason is completely irrelevant to Julia Gillard and the Labor government. I believe that sexual orientation and maritial status is completely irrelevant to politics. I may not believe in de facto relationships and I personally wouldn't enter one myself, but a de facto relationship is recognised by Australian law and Julia Gillard has every right to be in one, Prime Minister or not. Mr Nalliah goes on to say that 'seven out of ten men in a de facto relationship are scared to get married as they are scared for their possessions in the event of a divorce, and therefore Ms Gillard is setting a bad example to women' and that 'most women that I (Nalliah) have spoken to would like to be married and settle down with a husband and children'. First of all, his first claim is not backed by any official statistic and is utter shite, and anyway, just because seven out of ten men think that way doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing or that Julia Gillard's partner isn't one of the three who disagree with that, and there is nothing wrong with women who enter de facto relationships. Second of all, 'Dr Nalliah', the reason why all the women you talk to want to settle down and get married is because you founded a particularly brain washing evangical cult and the BIG DREAM of all those women's lives is to be a doormat for men. Get a life and talk to some proper women.

The third reason is also completely irrelevant - I personally believe that religion and politics should be kept separate as much as possible, so by rights Dr Nalliah should keep his stupid trap shut, at least in the name of God. I'm a proud Atheist myself and I think it would be good for Australia and Australian politics not to be influenced by religion for a change. quote 'Are we going to let the minority rule in a free and democratic nation?'. Yes, Dr Nalliah, we are. the majority rules, but the minority rocks.

Ms Gillard does not have children - why doesn't he have 'Ms Gillard has ten fingers' as one of the reasons? It would have been more relevant.

I'm a firm believer in that you can do whatever the hell you want when it comes to religion, just don't try and convert people. So what if she doesn't take the Oath on the Bible? You can take as many bible oaths as you want. Just because the Oath isn't made on the Bible doesn't mean that it is any less sincere, or that a Oath made on the Bible is guaranteed to come from the heart.

It makes me sick when people oppose politicians not because they don't agree with their policies or whatever, but because of personal choices like maritial status and religion. If you deny rights to people who who are different because of something they can't change or control, then go to hell. If you oppose someone purely because they're childless and unmarried, then go to hell. People say I'm narrow minded - but the truly narrow minded are people like Dr Nalliah, who are so blinded by romantic thoughts of God and Angels that they refuse to support the end of suffering for fellow human beings.

Doeth Youeth Speaketh Shakespeareth?

This semester I have been studying a year ten English unit called 'Heroes and Villains', designed and taught by LA QUIN. As part of our study of the tragic hero, we have studied Antigone, and we are now studying Macbeth, the Scottish Play.

When I was younger I had this aversion to Shakespeare - I couldn't read it. I didn't understand it. It was the kind of thing where it went out one ear and out the other. And, to be honest, I honestly cannot understand people who can read a Shakespeare play and enjoy it.

You see, the written forms of Shakespeare's plays are scripts, and scripts are inevitably boring, unless you have a trained eye and keen interest for them - no matter how fascinating and enthralling the play/movie is. I mean, a story needs pictures, adjectives, actors, CGI, to make things come to life. Reading a script, with very little description, makes for a very boring read. It is very hard to picture it, methinks, because I'm one of those people who rely heavily on the descriptive, visual side of things.

But Macbeth is truly fascinating - and I actually understand it now, because we are not only studying the script but a recording of it, and a visual novel. Macbeth is the quintessential man, corrupted by temptation - ironically, Sean Bean plays him in one production, and he also plays another man who falls from grace after the temptation of power is presented to him (Boromir). Lady Macbeth is a bitch. There is no kinder way to put this. But still, I love her.

But what is, for me, the most exciting thing is the concept of murder - and how it haunts the mind before and after the deed. I swear, if we made everyone read or watch Macbeth we'd have no more murderers in society - it would swear anyone off the act of taking a life. Lady Macbeth's sleepwalking, Macbeth's hallucinations of bloody daggers and ghosts of the murdered - it really chills your bones. Shakespeare, the world's first plaguerist, undeniably has a vivid imagination.

Oh, and the title 'Doeth Youeth Speaketh Shakespeareth', is from a playground language of 'Shakespeareth' - obviously, being the ignorant grubby children we are, we fail at reading and speaking proper Shakespearean. There is a variant of Shakespeareth - we call it Latinus. Dous Yous Speakus Latinus?

Sometimes.

Sometimes I get so sick of the world.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going to drown in a wave of ignorance and misunderstanding.
Sometimes people seem so stupid I think it's going to kill me.
Sometimes I could scream in frustration at the pettiness of it all,
Sometimes I feel like the fire of inspiration has been snuffed out by indifference.
Sometimes I read things that are so pathetic they make me laugh.
Sometimes I see people and I feel like we're two seperate species,
Sometimes I think unconcern is a disease that's going to kill us all.
Sometimes people are so slow it's like they're just being stupid to annoy me. 
Sometimes I believe that humankind is a lost cause,
Sometimes I hear things that just make me want to cry.

Coloured Eyeliner

Okay, so even though I promised myself that I wouldn't blog anymore about makeup, I really can't resist. But this is an important contribution to the monolid society.

Monolids are generally found on Asians, especially Asians with smaller eyes, in that the crease flops over and hangs below the upper lash line, giving the appearance of a) small eyes b) short eyelashes and c) incredibly difficult eyes to put eyeshadow on.

Many people I know with monolids try to adapt makeup techniques, often badly. But I've found two super awesome techniqures that look fabulous with monolid eyes.

Technique 1: Coloured Eyeliner - this works with black, brown, grey, and colours that match your skin tone.
By using a single, neutral, shimmery colour on the lid, you avoid noticable creases (which happens all the freaking time), and you avoid the problem or abrupt and messy edges you would get with bold matte colours (the crease acts as a natural line softener, but people with monolids don't have a crease). Make sure when you make the lower lashline coloured cateye it looks alright when you close your eyelids.

Things required:
Eyeshadow brush
Slanted eyeliner/eyebrow brush
A light, medium and dark eyeshadow from the same colour family and undertone, with a shimmery, perle, glitter or satin finish (preferably not matte)
Eyeliner the same colour or darker than the darkest eyeshadow, either khol or retractable (not gel or liquid) 
A shimmery pink or nude eyeshadow
Eyebrow powder, or an eyeshadow about three shades lighter then your natural eye colour
matte neutral eyeshadow
Silver, white or gold shimmery eyeshadow

To 'night-life' it:
Black eyeliner
Coloured liquid eyeliner (Same colour as eyeshadows)
Coloured glitter eyeliner (can be the same or different colour)
Black mascara
Eyelash curler 
Facial diamentes (optional)
False eyelashes (optional)
Eyebrow gel or hairspray
Eyebrow brush or clean toothbrush

Method:

1. Apply foundation and powder to face as normal
2. Apply matte neutral eyeshadow from lashline to browbone with eyeshadow brush
3. Fill in eyebrows lightly with slanted eyeliner brush, wash or rub off excess powder from brush 
4. Apply netural or pink shimmery eyeshadow from lashline to browbone with eyeshadow brush
5. Line the lower waterline with eyeliner pencil
6. Apply the darkest eyeshadow on the outer third of the lower lashline, creating a slight cateye.  Apply with a slightly wet brush if using good-quality eyeshadow (this will make the colours more vibrant, but will ruin cheaper eyeshadows). Wipe excess off brush.
7. Apply the medium eyeshadow on the middle third of the lower lashline, wipe excess off brush 
8. Apply light eyeshadow to the inner third of the lower lashline, wipe excess off brush.
9. Apply eyeliner on lower waterline 
10. Apply silver, gold or white shimmery eye shadow to the inner corner of the eye. 
11. Go over the darkest eyeshadow ith a little liquid eyeliner, if preferred. 
12. Apply a little glitter eyeliner to eyelashes, if preferred

To 'night life' it:

1. Apply black eyeliner on the outer half of the lower waterline 
2. Strongly define the eyebrows and seal with a little eyebrow gel or hairspray. 
3. Apply liquid eyeliner over the darkest eyeshadow, followed by a little glitter eyeliner.
4. Curl eyelashes and apply mascara. Apply fake eyelashes if preferred. When mascara is dry, apply glitter eyeliner to eyelashes.
5. Apply white, silver or gold shimmery eyeshadow to the browbone 
6. Apply diamentes on one eye only, a la Taylor Swift in the 'Teardrops on My Guitar' video (pic below:) 

Adjustments for normal eyelids:

1. Only apply the shimmery nude or pink eyeshadow to the crease, then highlight the browbone if you prefer.
2. Apply black liquid, pencil or gel eyeliner in a slight cateye on the upper lashline. You can also line your upper waterline in black or coloured eyeliner 

Technique #2: Smokey eye - this also works with black, grey, brown, and colours suiting your skin tone. Beginners may prefer to have many different shades, arranged from darkest to lightest, to help with blending.  This look is great for any eyeshadow finish, but I like shimmery finishes best. This method also works well with normal eyelids.

Tools:
Eyeshadow brush
Slanted eyeliner/eyebrow brush
Eyebrow powder or an eyeshadow three shades lighter than your eyebrow (three shades darker if you have fair hair)
Neurtral matte eyeshadow 
Blending brush or foam eyeshadow applicator
A light, medium and dark eyeshadow from the same colour family.
A smudgy kohl eyeliner darker than the darkest eyeshadow, or black or brown
Gold, silver or white shimmery eyeshadow

Method:

1. Apply foundation and powder to face as normal
2. Apply neutral matte eyeshadow from lashline to browbone 
3. Fill in eyebrows lightly with slanted eyebrow brush. Wipe off excess powder from the brush. 
4. Apply smidgy kohl eyeliner in a thick line on the top lashline - this should not be visible when the eye is open - flicking at the end for a slight cateye. Blend the edges with a blending brush or foam eyeshadow applicator 
5. Apply the darkest eyeshadow in a thick band on top of the eyeliner - the eyeshadow should be visible when the eye is open. Blend into the eyeliner slightly with a blending brush or foam eyeshadow applicator
6. Apply the medium eyeshadow in a thick band on top of the darkest eyeshadow. Blend into the darkest eyeshadow slightly with a blending brush or foam eyeshadow applicator
7. Apply the lightest eyeshadow to eye socket (use your brush to feel for this). Blend up to the brow bone and down into the medium eyeshadow. 
8. Apply eyeshadow and eyeliner to the lower lashline as shown in technique #1

To 'night life' it:

1. Apply black eyeliner on the outer half of the lower waterline 
2. Strongly define the eyebrows and seal with a little eyebrow gel or hairspray. 
   
3. Apply liquid eyeliner over the darkest eyeshadow on the lower lashline, followed by a little glitter eyeliner.
4. Curl eyelashes and apply mascara. Apply fake eyelashes if preferred. When mascara is dry, apply glitter eyeliner to eyelashes.
   
5. Apply white, silver or gold shimmery eyeshadow to the browbone 
6. Apply diamentes on one eye only, a la Taylor Swift in the 'Teardrops on My Guitar' video (pic above)

So there you have it!

P.S my favourite colours are purple, blue, brown and teal.

Book Review: The Other Boleyn Girl

Okay, so I read The Other Boleyn Girl ages and ages ago, but just recently I borrowed it again from the library and read it again, and I enjoyed it perhaps even more.

The Other Boleyn Girl is a fictionalized dramatisation of the rise and fall of the Boleyn family, a cadet branch of the extremely ambitious Howard clan. The story starts with the execution of a Boleyn relative, the Duke of Buckinghamshire, and ends with the execution of Anne Boleyn herself.

What I love about The Other Boleyn Girl is that it gives a very real perspective of the women of the king's court of that time - how utterly ignorant the king was to the needs and pains of women, and how they are manipulated by their families for political advantage. Sure, The Other Boleyn Girl does not follow history word for word, but you don't get the same drama from re-enactments unless they are embellished slightly - unless you were then and there personally, and I don't think anyone can boast of that.

The book is notorious for being historically innaccurate, and as much as I am not against historical innaccuracy in fiction (some innaccuracy, such as birth dates and orders and such .Costumes designated to noblewomen when the are only worn by prostitutes, as is the case in a book entitled The Red Queen, is quite a different story), I feel I should list the innaccuracies so you can better get the idea of the book before you read it - it is a lot clearer and a lot easier, perhaps, then my writing another long-winded synopsis:

• The birth order of the 'Three Boleyns' (Mary, Anne and George) is disputed historically, as there are no parish records of their exact birthdates. However, it is generally accepted that Mary is the eldest and George is the youngest, with Anne in the middle, although some sources say that George is the middle child and Anne is the youngest. In The Other Boleyn Girl George is the eldest by four years, followed by Anne and then Mary with less than a year between them. 
• The ages of the Three Boleyns are also warped in the book: in 1522, Mary is portrayed as fourteen,two years into her marriage to William Carey, Anne is fifteen, just returned from France and George is nineteen, therefore their birthdates would be 1508, 1507 and 1503 respectively. Although exact dates are unclear, it is agreed by many historians that Mary was born in 1499, Anne either in 1501 (if she was the middle child, this is the more accepted date) or 1507 (if she was the youngest child). George's birthdate is roughly 1504. Anne was sent abroad in 1513 at the age of twelve, and both she and Mary were sent to France to serve at the French court. Mary returned to England in 1519, and was married a year later in 1520 to William Carey at the age of 21, a year later, she embarked on her 5 year affair with the king. In 1522, Anne returned from France, and began her seven-year dalliance with the king in 1526, finally marrying him in 1533.
• Although it is well known that Mary Boleyn was a mistress of King Henry VIII, it is still debated whether her two eldest children, Catherine Carey (born 1524) and Henry Carey (born 1526) were fathered by the king. Mary's liasion with the king is roughly 1521-1525, and many claim that she was isolated from her husband Sir William Carey during this time so that any children she might have would definately be of the king's body. Catherine and Henry were never recognised as royal bastards, however, court gossip of the time circulated that Henry was a 'spitting image of the king'. In the book, it is clear that both Catherine and Henry Carey were undoubtably the king's children.
• It is not thought by most historians that Mary and Anne Boleyn were particularly close, or that the king was a sort of prize that they battled each other for. However, when Mary's husband died Anne secured her a small annual pension of 100 pounds, cleared the debts her husband left her and adopted her son Henry so that he could access a superior education. In the book, Anne maliciously steals Henry away from Mary so that she would be the Boleyn sister with the royal son, but she does secure the annual pension. 
• When Mary entered her second marriage to the relatively poor and unknown Sir William Stafford, she was cut off from her family without a penny and her right to a pension was withdrawn. Historians believe that her marriage to Stafford was a love match, and that she never saw any of her family, including Anne, after her marriage, but was often reduced to begging the king's advisor Thomas Cromwell to speak to Henry and Anne on her behalf. It has been established that Mary did not make any significant attempt to save her family from ruin and her siblings from execution, but lived her days out quietly with her husband in the country with her children, and when her parents died she inherited a substantial amount of land and died a wealty land owner in her forties. In the book, Mary is cut off from her family and Anne refuses to let her see her children, but eventually relents and allows her to see them occasionally on the condition Mary stays at court and helps Anne through her struggles to provide an heir. In the book, differing from the movie adaption, Mary makes no plea on her sibling's behalf as she mistakenly believes that they are to be exiled, not executed. After Anne's execution, Mary and her family flee to the safety of the country. 
• In the book, George Boleyn is portrayed as being homosexual and in love with Sir Francis Weston, but he frequents whorehouses in his youth and is sexually attracted to his sister, Anne, even consenting to commit incest with her in her desperation to conceive a child, but the child is born dead and horribly disfigured. Although George Boleyn was rumoured to be homosexual, there is no solid proof. 
• Mary is portrayed as a naive, inexperienced young girl who was as 'sweet as a virgin at confession'. In reality, historical sources claim that Mary had been the mistress of Francis I, King of France, and possibly some other French nobles, causing her parents to recall her from France in disgrace and quickly marry her off. 

So, if you're like me and like your fiction a bit fictionalized, then The Other Boleyn Girl is a brilliant book. If you like perfect, word for word historical accuracy, I suggest David Starkey, who, by the way, hates The Tudors, a TV series even more abridged than The Other Boleyn Girl. The Other Boleyn Girl also has a 2008 movie adaption, starring Scarlett Johansson as Mary Boleyn, Natalie Portman as Anne Boleyn, Eric Bana as Henry VIII and Jim Sturgess as George Boleyn. Why they cast two Americans and an Australian for thoroughly English roles remains a mystery until this day.

Politics

You may have surmised already that I am very interested in politics, and I am in particular deeply critical of the current political situation both globally and here in my native Australia, and that I have quite radical and modern political views.

I have been interested in politics from a very young age. Growing up my family generally did not watch a lot of television, so being the nerd I am I began enjoying watching the news and nature documentaries - 'boring grown-up stuff', as my peers put it, but I liked it. I also loved political satires, the best and funniest being on the ABC - ironically, the only channel funded by the government.

One very good thing about Australia is that we enjoy an extraordinary amount of freedom of speech - in that we are allowed to make fun of the tragic pettiness that is Australian politics. A long time favourite of mine is Media Watch, which is so funny that my friends and I are attempting to parody it in Media as Mod Watch - this should be interesting.

My politics teacher, a character I admire nearly as much as my English teacher, Quin, also confesses a deeply geeky interest in political television programmes. So, I have been introduced to the Gruen Transfer, renamed temporarily the 'Gruen Nation' during the federal election, and The Chaser Decides, which has also been renamed in honour of the election: Yes We Canberra!

The Gruen Transfer is an Australian television programme focusing on advertising, especially mocking particularly hopeless ads that, sadly, pop up all the time on Australian television. The Gruen Nation in particular focuses on the cheesy ads and scare campaigns, as well as mercilessly mocking them, of Labor and Liberal, and to a certain extent, the Greens.

Yes We Canberra! is basically undergraduate humour, but very funny undergraduate humour. The Chasers really have limitless imaginations and eons of courage, and they're not ashamed of themselves, never willing to censor their controversial views - much like myself and my blog. If you live in Australia, I strongly recommend you watch these two shows - because even if you don't particularly care about politics, The Gruen Transfer and The Chaser Decides are shows like Top Gear, in that you don't have to watch Top Gear for the cars - you don't have to watch these shows for the politics to make you laugh your head off.

Other tv shows I love are the aforementioned Top Gear, Mythbusters, Q.I, Meerkat Manor and anything David Attenborough. 

The Burqa Ban

Most of you may be familiar with this debate that has divided the international community - should we ban the wearing of full-face veils in public on safety and security grounds, or should people have the right to wear, or not to wear, whatever they want?

I am quite divided over this. My personal view is that the niqab (a piece of cloth tied around the face with slits for the eyes) and the burqa (a long, tent like garment with a mesh panel in front of the face) is that it is a violation of human and women's rights if they are forced, pressured or blackmailed in any way by anyone or anything to wear them against their will. But if women make a concious choice to wear these and other garments, then I believe it is their right to wear whatever they want when and where they chose. I mean, I'm not Muslim and you will probably never see me wearing a niqab, but I believe in free will.

But, there are certain cases when it is not safe, secure or practical to allow the wearing of these garments, which obscure the identity of the wearer almost entirely. Taking of identification photos, when giving evidence in court, stuff like that, it is reasonable to ask women to remove their veils. I mean, anyone could be under that veil - I'm not saying that it is a norm for Muslim women to routinely lie about their identities, but someone else with bad intentions could hide behind a religion they don't respect, take advantage of customs that they don't fully obey.

Wearing veils in occupations which involves mingling with people can make people uncomfortable, but I believe it should not be banned on grounds such as that - perhaps we could suggest women wear something less obstructive, like the khimar, but I think banning full-face veils entirely is a bit extreme.

As I have said over and over, we need to accept that some people are a little different in how they act, dress, look, etc. So am I in support of the burqa ban? Probably not. But I do think that the burqa does raise some questions on how invasive religion should be on our lives, though.

LGBT rights

Something that has got me really pissed off lately is the shocking state of LGBT rights in this world. After all, we should not only fight for our own rights, but for the rights of other people.

Scrolling through a list of countries sorted into 'homosexual acts legal' and 'homosexual acts illegal', many countries only ban men from homosexual acts, but not women.

This may seem sexist, but it does give us a clue as to why homosexuality is illegal.

Religion.

The fact that women are allowed to do whatever they bloody want with their sex lives and men are not link back to many religions that have direct references to homosexual figures and how they manage to do something wrong.

That is sick.

I am not against religion - I don't believe in any particular religion, but I am not against any religion as long as it does not impede basic human rights or the free will of non-involved people. Punishing something that cannot be reformed purely out of religion is ridiculous.

When I was little I honestly thought we lived in a better place than this. It is only now when I read and learn more and more I realize that this world can be so harsh, petty, hypocritical, all in the names of good, of God.

All I'm saying is, religion is a good way to remain spiritual and serene and all of that, but religion is no excuse to abuse fellow human beings or draw swords - or as is the case these days, machine guns. Religion should be a haven, a support system, not an excuse for bloodshed.