The Perfect Edward Cullen

Mood: meh
Listening to: 'I'd Lie' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for: love
Bella says: 'WHERE'S MUMMY GOOOOOONE??????'

BROADCASTING FROM SCHOOL.


I have found the perfect Edward Cullen.


Paul Wesley.

Unfortunately (or perhaps not so unfortunately), Paul Wesley plays another vampire who falls in love with a mortal girl and only drinks the blood of animals and all that, in the TV series adaption of The Vampire Diaries - which has pretty much the exact same themes as Twilight, only the vampires aren't so virginal and it was published fifteen years ago. But Paul Wesley should have been cast as Edward, too.

Why? Because he fits at all the criteria so much better than Robert Pattinson. Pale? Check, only Paul's skintone is creamy white to Robert Pattinson's ash grey. Slim, yet muscular frame? Double check, only Paul's six pack and muscle definition is real, and not painted on by makeup-artists like Rob's was and, as an added bonus, HE DOESN'T HAVE CHEST HAIR. Bronze hair? Check, and it's not even dyed. Yellow eyes...well, it would be really creepy if he had those naturally (although amber is an official human eye colour, closely linked to green and hazel). Tall? Well, Paul Wesley's height is not officially documented, he is estimated to be around six foot (he's taller than Nina Dobrev, who plays his love interest Elena/Katherine in the series, by a good few inches, and she's 5'6", the same height as Kristen Stewart). Robert Pattinson is 6'1" to Edward Cullen's 'book height' of 6'2". He's also a better actor, and, unlike Robert Pattinson, has more charisma at least than a cardboard box.

Who is Paul Wesley? Well, he's a Polish-American actor best known for playing Stefan Salvatore, a character uncannily like Edward Cullen (or the other way around, because Stefan was invented first) in the TV series Vampire Diaries, which is an adaption of the vampire novels of the same name. The Vampire Diaries is considered the halfway house between the very unconventional vampire lore of Twilight and the garlic-fearing coffin-sleeping myths of Dracula.

So what do you think? Is The Vampire Diaries a good modern interpretation of the traditional blood-sucking myths, or does Dracula still win at the end of the day? Or does Twilight beat them both?

The Vampire Diaries is certainly not as ridiculous in terms of storyline, and there is some relatable stuff in there, along with some very real drama, wherelse it's nearly impossible to relate to Bella or Edward. I think The Vampire Diaries wins. What about you?

I just had to add this picture, just to show you the un-originality of Twilight (but I still love it).


(can anyone see the similarity?)

Bieber Fever

Mood: weirded out
Listening to: 'Baby' by Justin Bieber, Live @ Sunrise Australia
Hungry for: milk.
Bella says: 'daddy's seat is so warmm.....'

Okay, so I said that my school is...not that enthusiastic about Justin Bieber.

Clearly, it's another story for a lot of other Australian teenagers.

People flew from all across Australia to see Justin Bieber at his only live performance in Australia to date, in Sydney - just to give you an idea how big a pilgrimage that is, Sydney is FIVE HOURS FLIGHT away from Perth, which is where I live - you can get to Singapore on a similar-lengthed flight - and the police kind of underestimated Bieber Fever a little bit. Eight girls were taken to hospital, mostly for hyperventilation, and about 5,000 teenagers crowded to wherever he was meant to perform live, on stage, bashing down barriers and struggling with police. Eventually, to their outrage, his outdoor performance was cancelled and J.B. had to perform indoors on the set of Sunrise, which is this...talkshow thing that is on every weekday morning, and wave and kiss and do whatever celebrities do, through the windows, because it was considered too dangerous for him to go outside.

I mean, this is crazy. I like Justin Bieber a lot, but there's no way I would fly all the way to Sydney during a school term just to go see him...maybe if it was a one-on-one meeting, but not to be one of the many screaming hyperventilating psychos. And I mean, live performances never sound good. They're in an unfamiliar environment, without the digital altering and the leeway to make slip ups and what not. I mean, popstars on stage just sound like normal people - because that is really what they are, just normal people. I don't think screaming fan girls really understand that. I think they've succeeded in scaring Justin Bieber away from Australia for good, though.

P.S. I've just noticed one of the polls is really stupid - who on earth would admit they'd rather be pretty and dumb? Regina George?

Book Review: The Imperfectionists.

Mood: ?
Listening to: 'Eenie Meenie' by Sean Kingston ft. Justin Bieber
Hungry for: apple pieee...
Bella says: 'zzz...'

I've been meaning to write this for ages...

Okay, so, at the same Writer's Festival that I bought Jasper Jones, I bought another book called the Imperfectionists, who is...wait for it, written by a London-born Canadian ex-journalist who lives in Rome. I actually met him, Tom Rachman, and he is very nice.

I started reading The Imperfectionists first, but then I started Jasper Jones soon after - because I generally have no less than six books on my reading list at one time, a mixture of old favourites, bad habit trash, classics and new stuff. But then I got hooked onto Jasper Jones and started reading into the wee hours - not such a good idea, it's really quite spooky - but then I finished The Imperfectionists, and I loved it.

The Imperfectionists is a novel, but it doesn't really follow a traditional novel format. It's instead a collection of interlinking short stories from the different perspectives of interlinking people, all somehow connected to an international newspaper based in Rome. As the blurb rightly says, behind doors at newspaper it's sex, strife and spellcheck, which is basically the main themes that connect the stories. Each short story clearly shows the diverse people and personas who are connected to a somewhat failing newspaper, and are prime examples of Tom Rachman's wit and journalistic experience.

The only shortcoming? The book is simply too long for it's rather complicated format. By the time one character pops up again, twenty stories after his own, you've already clean forgotten him. It's the kind of book you have to read over and over, so you establish a kind of personal connection with each and every character.

But hey, I'm not really complaining.

By the way, Jasper Jones update: Craig Silvey is one of (the Australian) Cleo Magazine's Most Eligible Bachelors.

back!

Mood: sick :(
Listening to: 'Baby' by Justin Bieber
Hungry for: tea!
Bella says: 'Mummy's back! TUMMY SCRATCH TIIIIIIME!!!!!'

I'm back!

I don't know how many times I've said that.

Sorry I haven't been blogging, I've been away for nine days. I went to Shanghai and Hong Kong, and, as you may know, blogger (and facebook and youtube) is banned in China, and the internet services in the Hong Kong hotels were ridiculous.

But I'm back now. Sick, tired, exhausted and shopped-out, but back.

More posts when I'm actually concious.

P.S Bella seems so much bigger than I remember! But according to my very dodgy 20-year-old set of scales, she's actually lost half a kilo. Strange.

Empty Criticism

Mood: proud. and proud of being proud.
Listening to: 'Love Me or Hate Me' by Lady Sovereign
Hungry for: some respect.

Last year I complained bitterly on my blog about being accused of being 'proud', and how the teachers were giving me hard time about it. I've since appealed to higher authorities, and the offending individuals have been, for want of a better phrase (not really) forced to shut the fuck up.

But now it's back. Students.

One thing I've found bizarre about modern Anglo-Saxon culture is that pride is something of an unspoken evil - a temptation that you simply musn't succumb to. Australia, at least for generations Y and Z, is not a meritocracy - it's a delicately fragile ladder of class and order and propriety that collapses every six seconds. There are three classes - proud, normal, and depressed. Being the crazy out-of-place part-Westernized Asian that I am, I wildly bounce through each category constantly.

I've failed to recognise - what is so bad about pride? Growing up, my parents always told me to have a good idea of what you're good at and what you're not good at, instead of pretending you're mediocre at everything. My parents taught me to be proud about what you can do and humble about what you don't. And I've been like that - I've stuck to that advice like The Bible (not that I actually stick to the Bible - but that's another story) and yet I constantly get payed out for it.

I wish I could say 'I just wanna clear this up once and for all', but that never works. There is always someone out there that has this idea in their head that I parade around thinking I'm the best thing since sliced bread, but I assure you, from the bottom of my heart, that I am not. I just wish people wouldn't make me feel so shit about feeling good about myself, and then turning around and saying I'm depressed with a low self esteem. And I have battled depression, image and self-esteem problems for a couple of years now, and the people I blame are those so-called friends I have, those so-called 'teachers' who 'only want best for you'.

I'm tired of trying to be nice. I'm tired of having to apologise. I'm sorry if I rub you up the wrong way, but it's really not my problem. People are always telling me to grow a thick skin, but I'm telling you, grow one yourself. If I complained about everything people do that annoys me, then I'd be here till Christmas next century. So I don't. I button it, and tolerate it. And so should you.

If I can do things better than you can, then, yeah, I like that fact. If I can't, then, yeah, I just accept that. I can't be everything. Someone *please* tell me what is wrong with that. Take a look at yourself. Stop beating yourself down, and stop beating other people down. Do you know what it's like to have depression? It stinks. It's really truly godawful. You feel like no-one loves you and no-one appreciates you for what you are. And that's what you're doing every time you 'try to do something good' and reprimand people for loving themselves.

It's popular, but it's not really, but it's kinda popular, I mean, you have to not like it but pretend to you like it but not like it...

Mood: dry (as in the humour. dry humour.)
Listening to: 'Baby' by Justin Bieber
Hungry for: common sense
Bella says: 'Mummm??? I'm sleepy, I'm on the couch, BUT DON'T YOU DARE DISAPPEAR!!!!!'

Did the title confuse you enough already? Yeah, that's the kind of shit I get every day at school.

It's this Justin Bieber dude. I mean, I like his songs. I love his lyrics in the same way I like Twilight. It's like meaningful un-meaningful stuff. It's kind of difficult to explain - as in, neither of them are classics, but they're both strangely addictive.

Sure, Justin Bieber sounds like an eight year old and puberty is going to hit him like a train, and he looks stupid doing that hand-heart thing that he always does and equally stupid with his cap that is clearly way to big for him and fails at trying to disguise himself (hoodies just don't cut it these days), but I like his music. I also, in some bizarrely strange way, like his melodramatic cheesy videos, in the same way I lap up Robert Pattinson's stale and dishevelled Edward Cullen.

But then Justin Bieber, much like Dolly Magazines and Twilight and Hannah Montana and High School Musical, are in that 'grey' group. I know everyone secretly indulges in at least one of them, but I don't understand why these are like secret, guilty pleasures. To make things even more complicated, you have to not like them but pretend that you like them kind of but really not like them. Something along those lines.

I think I'm the only person in my grade who openly reads Dolly and Twilight, listens to Justin Bieber and watches High School Musical and Hannah Montana. I know heaps of people secretly like these things, but they'll never admit it. I know some diehard Twilight fans force themselves to say that it's a load of crap through their teeth. I just don't get it. One of my more recent posts, Dear Hayden, is basically what society does to every single one of us - and even if it doesn't, we always imagine it does. And what do I get? Criticized for being too mean. But this is what happens! I'm just demonstrating reality. I'm just saying what you're all thinking. I'm just stating what we all know.

When I was younger I used to crack under this pressure, and then I very recently went through a 'I genuinely give a shit about not giving a shit' thing, where I purposely did eccentric things for the thrilling combination of attention and daredevil and 'make me stop' kind of defiance. Growing up in a mixed culture in a very hypocritical and harsh age, I've always found it difficult just to be myself. I always feel like I have to conform, or be like, the next Lady Gaga. Do any of you feel like that?

My Baby Bella

Mood: estatic
Listening to: 'Baby' by Justin Bieber
Hungry for: milk

I got a new puppy!

Well, she's not really a puppy. She's a young female, a Silky Terrier, and she's so gorgeous! Her name is Bella, and we got her on Sunday from death row at a pound about two hours away from where I live. She's a little bundle of joy, so cute.

I would have blogged about her earlier except for the fact I actually can't type when she's on my lap at the computer - I have to have at least one hand fully employed in scratching her belly. She loves having her belly scratched - she'll stop in the middle of the staircase for one if she thinks you'll bend down anytime soon. She's very small, much smaller than our other dog, and I've hardly heard a yap out of her - although she did apparently bark at a park ranger that she didn't like the look of today at the park.

I call her Belly, or Belly-Boo. She follows me around everywhere - like quite literally, everywhere - and rarely goes out of my sight. She's terrified of the doggy door (ironic, much?) and we both get seperation anxiety when I go to school. Today was my super-long day - a full day of school plus choir practice in the morning and orchestra rehearsal in the evening - but when I got home her little roly-poly cuteness made my day.

More on Belly later.

Dear Hayden

Dear Hayden,

This outfit is fail in absolutely every aspect. Let's start from the top.

Well, for starters, you've got a gorgeous cute-as-pie fiancee walking beside you, and at this point in time she probably doesn't even want to know you, let alone marry you. Rachel Bilson is one of the style icons of the century - she never has a hair out of place. She always gets it right. Yet she's about to marry someone who's just got it so, so wrong.

Look at your hair. Kevin Rudd gets away with the puffy side part - you don't. You're way too young and hot and drop dead sexy.

And then there's the shirt. It's a nice colour on you, but the cutting is utter fail. It's way too low - what are you trying to do? Show off C-cup cleavage? And your chest hair is poking through. That's disgusting. In Star Wars you didn't have chest hair - why change that now? Borrow Rachel's razor.

And the sleeves are way too tight - in fact, the whole thing is too tight. You look like you're a female gymanst on her way to the Olympics. And it's far too short. What kind of guy wears a shirt that ends at the navel, especially with such low cut pants? I don't know where guys get the idea from, but three inches of blandly visible underpants is just not a sexy look.

And what is with that horrible vest thing? It's the most dreadful colour, and I have no idea what it's for. Life jackets? They belong on the water, honey. I don't think it scores many points for buoyancy, but you'll scare all the sharks away, that's for sure. And then the straps dive in to your pants to who-knows where...what were you thinking? To save our eyes from permanent damage, we insist you shop under Rachel's constant supervision from now on.

But before we get to your pants, lets look at the item in your hand. It's a cigarette. You are Anakin Skywalker, for crying out loud. Half the male population looks up to you and half the female population drools over you. What kind of example are you setting with a cigarette in your hand? It's just not cool anymore. And I don't know how Rachel willingly kisses you - smokers stink in every sense.

And then we look at the thing in your other hand - it looks like a blue diaper. It's hanging over the top of your pants. Grow up.

Your pants aren't actually that bad - but the belt is godawful. It's stiffer than a slab of concrete and probably just as flexible. How can you wear such a contraption with jeans? No, no, no, no, no. The pants themselves hang too low down on your waist - you don't look manly at all. You look like you have an hourglass figure. You just look like a too-tall, too-hairy girl.

Your shoes are incredibly boring - which means they're not hideous, but still, they're dull. So dull.

I fail to understand how someone as hot as you can look so bad. Sure, you can't act for shit, but that doesn't detract away from the fact that, normally, you look drop-dead gorgeous. You look good as a Jedi, so try and look good without a stylist throwing clothes at you. Please. For all our sakes. I think Padme just turned in her grave.

P.S PEOPLE THIS IS A JOKE. DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!!!!

my sister and I were surfing the net together and we had a good laugh at this pic. I just wrote this for fun. So chillax, and back away from the f word.

Poll Talk #1

Mood: lost my voice :( too much taylor swift...
Listening to:'Cold As You' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for: milk

From my polls, I have gathered:

Most of my readers are female, although I have a couple of male readers and a few who are undecided.

Most of my readers are in the 'under 15' age gap, although I've got pretty much everyone over 10 visiting here.

Most of my readers are here because they're under the impression that this is good writing...but some are here because they think I'm ridiculous.

This is, apparently, girly-girl free zone.

Keep voting!

Storm.

Mood: grouchy :(
Listening to: 'Forever and Always' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for: I don't know. I wanna binge.

No school today!

Our school is drowned. Two offices, an entire building, a corridor and several other classrooms are completely flooded, not to mention cracked windows and a rogue hail stone that smashed the stain glass window in the heritage-listed building.

You might have heard about the storms that wreaked havoc on Perth yesterday evening - and my God, they were spectacular. I don't think I've ever seen hail before, but there they were, smashing the stained class windows and crashing down onto the concrete.

So I'm at home, bored, with nothing on TV. We were all scared out of our wits last night, but now we're just bored.