Can of Worms #7

Worm #15: Is it OK to tell your kids there is no God?
The long and short of it: Yes.

My say: I say this because, obviously, I am an atheist, and I genuinely believe that there is no God. I was raised not to believe in God by my secular Buddhist parents, and I don't think I'm traumatised or whatever because I wasn't raised by the Bible or anything. It's okay growing up without God. Really.

But then again, I do believe that religion is a very personal choice and we all have the right to religious freedom, even small children. So I would definitely explain to my children the concept of God, and how some people believe in God or a group of Gods, and how and why. I would explain to them that it's fine to believe in whatever you want, as long as you understand it thoroughly and truly believe it with all your heart. I would tell them about cults and tell them that religion can be dangerous, and religion should never make you do anything you know isn't right, or stop you from doing whatever you want to do. I would tell them that I don't believe in God, and I would explain why, and, whatever they choose, I'm not going to change and we're just going to have to agree to disagree. But most importantly, I would tell them that no matter what they chose, they'd still be my children and I'd love them still. When I am a parent, my job would be to teach my children to think, not what to think. What I would hate is to be a mother to some blind cult follower who doesn't think before he jumps. 

I think believing in God has the potential to make you a better person, but it can also have an equal and opposite effect. I have heard of too much blood spilt, too many lives lost and too many souls ruined by God, and I fear the whole concept. I don't think I'd be a better person if I were God-fearing; I don't think I'm a bad person because I am atheist. And that's that.

Worm #16: Is it wrong to tell a fat person to lose weight?
The long and short of it:Yes.

The only exception to this is if it is someone near and dear to you who is morbidly obese and in danger of dropping dead at any minute. Other than that, it is not acceptable to harass random strangers you don't know and would never talk to about their weight.

There are many reasons for weight gain: thyroid problems, genetics, having children, depression etc, and it's insensitive to just assume they're just gluttons.

You have to think about why you want to have a go at someone because of their weight. Do you genuinely care about them and their health? Why? Do you just think it's disgraceful someone could show their face to the world weighing 100kg? Is it really going to affect your quality of life is someone walking down the street is a bit todgy? What if they're going through a hard time and you're adding unecessary guilt to necessary ice cream binges?

If it doesn't bother you, leave it alone.

Special Worm #1: Does pop culture and new media demean the traditional practices of journalism?
The long and short of it: No.


To be honest, I'd never really trusted the whole world of journalism - it's always been about backstabbing, scrabbling for bits of information and invading privacy. I'm no expert, but I just feel as though pop culture and journalism have forever been intertwined, and it's hard to tell one from the other. What is traditional? When journalism was climbing over walls and lurking in private residences instead of phone hacking?

Thanks to Adelaide Dupont for posting some worms for me to respond to (I totally don't understand the first one! Will comment on it once I do some research). I would love to hear from anyone; please post a comment below. Can of Worms is going strong - although, to be honest, I don't really watch it ;) - I just get the questions online! The joys of the Net!)

Can of Worms #6

Worm #13: It's legal for a 17-year-old to sleep with someone in their 40s, but is it OK?
The long and short of it: Yes.

My say: I am a firm believer that it is nobody's business as to who sleeps with who. I consider a seventeen year old perfectly capable of being sexually attracted to somebody in their 40s (I mean, Adam Hills. Please.)and to be honest, I was hurt a lot more by teenagers than I ever would be by someone older. What is age? Age is just a number, and at the age of sixteen one has the right to do whatever they want with whoever they want. Pseudo-paedophilia may not be everyone's cup of tea. But it's everyone's right.

Worm #14: If your kid is being physically bullied, do you tell them to hit back?
The long and short of it: Yes.  

My say: This is a difficult one, but I'm going to have to say yes, but 'hit back' can be interpreted in a variety of ways. I was a dobber, growing up, especially at the age where children are too frightened to openly defy a teacher. Later, I was a crier - bursting into tears was a pretty effective way of stopping the hits, although it might not work so well for boys; such a sad reflection on society. Later I would post everything on my blog, and as my readership grew it also proved to be a pretty big deterrent, but I have kicked a few people in the shins in my time - an eye for an eye. I don't think that you should teach your children to ignite WWIII, but the occasional, unexpected punch in self defence, especially if there are no adults bothering to interfere (you can't rely on teachers too much, you know) is healthy. Teach your child not to be a punchbag, but maybe not a sleeping dragon, either.

If you have any worms to suggest, please comment and I'll write my views on them.  

Can of Worms #5

Worm #11: Should you tell your teenager that some people take drugs because they enjoy them?
The long and short of it: Yes.

My say: All too often adults make the classic mistake of assumming that teenagers are dumb and irresponsible. We should tell teenagers that some people take drugs because they enjoy them because the truth is, some people take drugs because they enjoy them. It isn't necessarily going to make teenagers snort the first bit of myseterious white powder they see - I mean, I'm fully aware that people have sex because it's enjoyable, but that's not going to make me run around naked screaming 'FUCK ME!' (unless I was really, really drunk). Most of the trouble teenagers get into is because of misunderstandings and half-truths conveyed from parents to their children, in the name of modesty/decency/privacy/whatever you can think of that's coming between you and being a good parent. I mean, teenagers are hardly going to believe you if you say that taking drugs causes pain or discomfort or whatever - everyone knows people take drugs to get high. Seriously.

Worm #12: Do we hero-worship our sports stars too much?
The long and short of it: Yes.


My say: I'm a big believer in the idea that we all have our own talents and we all have the right to go as far as we want to go, but we do idolize sportsmen far too much. I mean, they get honours that heart surgeons and people who discover cures for incureable diseases barely get. I grew up in a heavily sports-oriented environment where day in, day out, all the sporty kids were doled out medals and certificates and trophies, and all I could think of was 'what about me?'. We all have equal talents; we all should get equal rewards.

Can of Worms #4

Okay, so there was a stuff up on the Can of Worms website so there is only one worm today. But it's a goodie.

Worm #10: Is marriage necessary anymore?
The long and short of it: Yes.

My say: A lot of people assume that because of my religious beliefs (or distinct lack thereof) that I do not intend to get married. That's not true. I want a big white wedding and I want to walk down the aisle to 'Teenage Dream' by Katy Perry and I want my groom to be a hot sexy Oxford graduate Ralf Laurent model...but that's another story.

To me, a marriage is an opportunity to publicly acknowledge eternal love and lifelong commitment, and whilst I support de facto relationships I think that any couple that plans a long-term relationship that isn't prepared to go public with it has serious issues. If you're lucky enough to have boy meets girl and you haven't burned your house to the ground, then why not? So, marriage is still necessary even if Australia progresses in a secular direction as I hope it will, and it is everyone's right regardless of anything to have the right to say 'I do'.

Can of Worms #3

Worm #8: Should young women stop dressing so slutty?
The long and short of it: No.

My Say: First of all, I'm almost sure it should be 'should young women stop dressing so sluttily', but never mind that. As an advocate of topfreedom and against the burqa ban (weird combination, but hey, I never pretended to be normal, or sane) I believe that we all have the right to choose how to present ourselves. Besides, what is 'slutty'? If you go to an Islamic nation, wearing shorts is slutty. Whereas here everything short of nudity is sorta A-OK.

Besides, it's a terrible assumption that all young women dress like sluts. I'm a young woman and I think I dress pretty appropriately for my age, but that's besides the point. All women are people, and all people have a libido and an interest in sex. Feeling and looking attractive is a natural desire for everybody, but for some reason it's perfectly fine for men to walk around in nothing but a pair of cutoffs and we have to start wearing tents.

I believe that laws and society do not have the right to dictate the personal choices of any individual - choices which, if you think about it, really don't matter in the whole scale of things.

Worm #9: Does telling a racist joke make you a racist?
The long and short of it: Yes.

Discrimination against race, sexuality or gender ranges from lynching to laughing, and it's the little things that count.We have no right to tell jokes at the expense of someone of a different race, and I personally think they're tasteless and vulgar. I also think that it is a case of from little things, big things grow - I truly believe in the power of words. Hitler was inspired in his ruthless persecution of Jews by one disparaging comment about some rich Jews in Vienna during the Great Depression.

I will continue posting my responses to worms here, but if you have a worm of your own I'd be happy to pull it apart in the most controversial, left-wing feminist way possible :).

Can of Worms #2

Worm #6: Should you allow your seventeen-year-old to drink alcohol?
The long and short of it: Yes

My Say: I know there is a huge drinking culture here and around the world, especially amongst teenagers, and I do not condone it at all. I am fifteen and still a good three years off the legal drinking limit, and even though I'll be in uni for a whole year under the legal drinking age I don't think I have it in me to be such a delinquent - I mean, hey, I'm surviving year eleven with a whole cohort of horny sixteen-year-olds (16 is the legal age of consent here). That being said, I am a teenager, I have tasted alcohol several times before, I do quite like it and I do look forward to a time when I can drink openly - in moderation, of course. Anyway, it is inevitable that teenagers (who, on the whole, go out a lot more than I do) will run into alcohol and I think the important thing is to educate, accept the inevitable and take the novelty off alcohol - I think part of the slight temptation for me now to drink is the fact that it is illegal and it is something my parents probably would not approve of. An important factor to consider is that alcohol and teenagers is dangerous, but alcohol, teenagers and secrecy is worse. I think if parents and children can be more open about the drinking habits of all involved it would be very healthy - certainly much more healthy than a blanket ban and secret underaged drinking, which happens more often than parents like to think. Kids these days think outside the box - I know a boy who, aside from bringing his own teabags to school, also makes his own liqueur from fermented lime juice - the edibility and alcohol content of his concoction is debatable, but the thrill is there, and that's what matters. Binge drinking should never be encouraged or tolerated, but if your child would rather shoot himself than admit he had a glass of wine or half a lager to his own parents then, really, is that good?

Worm #7: Is lying good for a relationship?
The long and short of it: No.

I've lied once in a relationship, and I've been lied to once in a relationship - sad, isn't it? I've only had two, and really, both don't count once I get someone who sits and stays for more than a bloody fortnight. I lied that I was ready for a relationship at the age of eleven and I was lied to by the age of thirteen and ended up being the rebound girl. So in my experience, lying and relationships never work. Then again, two for two is hardly reliable data.

I tell white lies all the time - I think we all do. If we didn't, we all would have shot each other. I have no qualms telling white lies to even my closest friends and family, because it's natural and human and necessary and frankly, I do it because I can. But I have the stomach for honesty, and I think if you don't, or you don't think your partner does, then that is a serious flaw in any relationship - I would much rather a boyfriend said that I looked terrible and I changed before we went out rather than look unwittingly atrocious in public. Cheating is bad but lying about it is worse - cheating is a dealbreaker for me no matter what excuses he can spout but lying about it will be the motive in my murder trial.

I will continue posting all the worms in the Can of Worms series but if you have any questions of a similar nature or anything about anything juicy and controversial - like feminism, religion, etc. - please comment and I would love to give my opinion and hear yours.

Can of Worms #1

There's a new show on Channel Ten called Can of Worms, which is an interesting concept, even if the presentation is a little shaky. I'm not sold on the unfunny host and the guests are a little strange, and the twitter feed...let's say that the QandA twitter feed is a little more active. But the topics that are discussed are really interesting, so I'm going to experiment and post my own responses here, on the original Lady Sovereign Word Vomit Dump.

Worm #1: Is porn just a healthy part of a normal life?
The long and short of it: No. 

My say: I'm saying no on this one because I don't know of many people who openly indulge in pornography - then again, I am a fifteen year old at quite a prudish school. I don't see anything wrong with pornography, not that I'm addicted to porn or that my ambition is to become a porn star, but I do think that we are a little too prudish when it comes to sex in general - porn is, after all, just entertainment. I don't think there should be restrictions to porn access for adults but of course it's not really an appropriate medium of entertainment for children. Like any addiction, porn addiction is neither normal nor healthy, but the crowd that I hang out with (read: underaged and nerdy) aren't really into that kind of thing, so from my POW there's nothing wrong with porn, but it's not normal and has the potential to be unhealthy.


Worm #2: Is it okay to spy on your kids online?
The long and short of it: No. 

My say: On the show it was specifically 'is it okay to spy on your teens online', so I'm saying no, you cannot spy on teenagers online. Why? The answer is simple: in this day and age, children are introduced to computers and the internet at a very young age, and you have more than enough time before the teen years to drill in the basics of internet safety. If the message hasn't sunk in by the double digits then you've failed as a parent or you've got a dud kid. Simple. I think that anything you can do from another computer, such as looking at a facebook or twitter page, a blog etc., is fine because after all: that is internet publishing and your child is putting this information out to the world. What's not fine is if you actually use your child's computer and internet identity to snoop around: that means checking internet history, word documents, emails, etc. And whilst we're on the topic, snooping around phones and other private paraphernalia is also a no-no. My logic behind this is simple: adolescence is a time when children grow up and start to depend less and less on their parents, and this in turn means that trust between parents and children is a little shaky. By going behind a teenager's back is automatically assuming that they're doing the dodgy, and is one surefire way to ensure your kid becomes dodgy. I know all parents are concerned about their children's safety (or, at least...they should...) but adolescence is that funny time when you have to start respecting your kids as well as loving them to pieces, and the consequences of not doing so can be as potentially deadly as negligence or abuse. So, no, please do not spy on kids, especially teenagers, online.

Worm #3: Is it offensive to call someone a bogan?
The long and short of it: Yes.

My say: I have called people bogan before (cough Sam Worthington) and I have privately labelled many people as bogans, but it's not something I would say to a stranger or even somebody that I just didn't know really really well. It's a very touchy thing, especially here in Australia, where we're supposed to be classless but we're anything but. And I would be offended if someone called me a bogan, because I don't think I am one: although I have spent the last four days in my pyjamas, so you may beg to differ. So I wouldn't use the word too freely, no.

Worm #4: Is the burqa out of place in Australia?
The long and short of it: Yes.

My say: Yes, but it shouldn't be. For a country as multicultural and supposedly tolerant as we're meant to be, we are a rather racist, sexist, xenophobic lot. The only burqa-wearers I have a problem with are those who don't like non-burqa-wearers, or those who are forced to wear the burqa or niqab against their will. But we all have the right to chose what to wear and what not to wear, and this includes the burqa. I don't agree with the religious aspect of it, but I also believe in religious freedom, which is more of a preach but not practice thing in some places. So, I wouldn't wear a burqa, but if you want to wear one (want to, not have to) then wear one, but this is'nt really the voice of the people. Just a note: I'm slightly on the fence when it comes to court rooms and such.

Worm #5: Do Australians swear too much?
The long and short of it: Yes.

My say: I don't have a problem with swearing, and I personally swear on a regular basis. I draw a line at the c-bomb though; I don't think it's ever an appropriate word at all. Aside from that, I don't see the problem with swearing: I'm an angry person, and swear words are angry words, so it makes sense. Anyway, bad language is subjective and it's almost impossible to open your mouth and not piss of somebody, so I've kinda given up on the whole notion. But when you spend most of your time amongst highly obnoxious year eights and various other potty-mouthed individuals where every second word is 'fuck' (example: hello fuck you fuck this fuck that where the fuck is my fucking pencil etc.) then you realize a whole new meaning of OTT.