The Joke's On Me.

Australia is a racist, xenophobic, sexist and religiously-intolerant place. We have a whole history of racism - towards Asians, Aboriginals...anyone who's not white, male and Christian. We're good at being racist, and we're good with being racist.

We are also famously good at denying things and pretending we're all democratic and lovely.

The problem is jokes. We somehow think that we can say whatever we want, as long as we say 'it was just a joke' afterwards. Actually, no, you don't even have to say that. All you have to say is 'LOL!'.

Australians have to wake up and realize that a joke is not an acceptable pretext to say something that is racially or otherwise insensitive. Growing up as an Asian and as a woman I've had the most appalling things said to me, but they get away with it because they always say it was 'just a joke'. I'm tired of the joke always being on me. It's not my fault that I am what I am. I am proud of what I am, but most importantly, I am proud that it is my right not to have to put up with this fucking bullshit. A smile can't erase scars.

It's not funny to say to a woman 'go make me a sandwich' or 'get back to the kitchen'. It's not funny to call me a slitty-eyed or an Asian cunt. I am a citizen and as a citizen - fuck, as a fucking human being - I was taught by proper decent parents not to take the mickey out of race, or sex, or culture. Apparently teaching Australian children to grow up and behave is beneath us. It doesn't matter if you say you don't mind if it happened to you, because to be honest, it doesn't happen to you unless you've spent your whole life being a colour. I have lived my whole life with white teachers and white students saying that they're not being racist, and being upset when I say that they are. Why is it my fault, huh? I'm trying to stand up for myself, and you knock me down. And call me a chink and a slut whilst you're at it.

Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong

Dude this girl has got a problem.

Why is it that are conditions for Asians who want to go to UCLA and not white people? You know, about a million things about this chick could offend a whole variety of people accross the world. A million things about anyone could offend anyone. Which is why we are all equal. Equally bad. 

Okay, I get it. Some Asians are annoying. Some Asians don't know how to function without their old Chinese grandmas. Some Asians do have a billion relatives they have to keep track of (I know I do). But whatever. Alexandra Wallace just offended one of the most ancient and grandest cultures in the world.

Not a smart move, that.

I've made no secret of my dislike of some members of the Asian community, but I don't brand the whole community. I am a proud person of Asian descent, and I know some great people who are Asian like I am. And you know what? Someone isn't good or bad because of colour. Whether someone is a royal pain the ass or an angel is irrelevant to race, religion or gender. I had a couple of white boyfriends who smashed my heart into pathetic little pieces, but I didn't go on a rant about how all white people are horrible and unhuman and should all be shot. In short, my problem with...well, people, is not because they adhere to their own culture and customs, but because some of them don't follow, you know, common sense and international laws.

But what angered me the most is the horrible mockery of whatever she was trying to mock. All my life people have been going up to me saying 'Look! I'm speaking Chinese/Korean! Ching chong, ching ching chong! Bok, bok bok choy!'

I don't even speak Chinese, and I could kick their ass in any English assignment. What makes football obsessions and an unhealthy addiction to hotdogs any better than me? - yeah, you heard me, C. So their insults are kind of moot, but still hurtful.

It is a human weakness to be scared of what you don't understand. It is a human weakness to want people to be the same. But you know what? PMS is a human weakness, too. And if I was paid a dollar every time I've been told to get over it, I'd be rich. So you know what? Get over it.

There are a lot of things I don't like about this place. There are a lot of things I don't like about a lot of the people I know. But I keep my mouth shut. You know why? Because I'm not perfect, and I know I annoy people too. And as unforgiving as people are to that, I still keep the outward facade that I'm understanding about the fact that people are human - although my mother does cop the worst of all my internalized rants. 

The world is a big place. You can't expect everybody to look the same, act the same, whatever. We're bound to have misunderstandings. But would you like it if I made fun of your language, if I picked out a couple of douchebags from your race and then totally ridiculed your entire ethnicity? No. So fuck off, Alexandra Wallace.