The Woes of a Controversial Writer

I really don't know why people have this thing against my writing. Of course it's controversial - every piece of writing in the whole world is - and if it wasn't, how boring would that be?

Writing is a vague and undefined, yet in no way unrefined art. With maths, you're either right or wrong, no two ways about it, but there is no 'right', 'wrong', 'good' or 'bad' in art. Writing included.

I fully understood that when I took GATE testing.

The GATE (Gifted and Talented Education) Test is the only way to get into extention programs at high school - otherwise you're just stuck with the rest. There are visual art, drama, music, dance, humanities, math, science and sport scholarships up for grabs - you name it and there's a scholarship for it.

For the standard academic test, the test you try out for to get into one of the many academic, humanities or maths specialist schools, there are four different sections: reading, writing, maths and mathematical IQ. Two maths and two reading, that's fair fair, right?

Er, wrong.

At primary/high school level, at least at aus, math is either right or wrong (it's only when you get to the ridiculously hard stuff where the answer is debatable). Reading is sort of like that, only I think the odds aren't in my favour because I basically taught myself the fundementals of refined English and being a second-generation Asian immigrant my comprehension is different (not wrong) to standard Australian. But writing?

J.R.R Tolkein is meant to be a good author. I can't stand his material. Same with Christopher Paolini.

Writing is subject to preference. People don't like your work? Tough.

Thank goodness my 'highly controversial' writing passed the test (at the top of the state, I might boast) and my unorthodox comprehension not far behind. I didn't finish my math test 0_o and my math IQ was pretty low, but hey, I got into the school I wanted, that was the main point.

Who wants to know about the cheesy guy-gets-the-girl-and-saves-the-world? It's been revamped too many times. Who wants to read some crappy, mysogynistic damsel in distress stuff? No. People want to read about unlucky wizards who go to school or vampires who fall in love, bittersweet tales of forbidden love or starcrossed lovers who are, quite literally, star crossed. So you don't like my work because it's controversial? Do you really think I care?

People not worth knowing love familiarity too much. Why do you think we have rascist people? Because some people are afraid of the 'unfamiliar' blacks. Why do you think we have sexist people? Because people are afraid of the opposite sex. Why do people hate controversial writing?

Because they're afraid of the unknown.

Okay, so my writing is a little strange. A spirit of a girl falls in love with a mortal man. Some churchers will curse me if that story ever gets released. A philogynistic, wealthy man falls in love with an ordinary, blunt, frank girl, and a whirlwind of calamity follows. Not exactly your average chick flick, but it's different. I'm different too.

I'm not blue eyed, blonde haired, flat stomached huge assed with absolutely no brain. I'm just not like that. I have dark hair, olive skin, my fair share of acne, and yes, I have a stomach, time to call the sheriff.

I wish people wouldn't pick on me because I put the backwards me in polemic. Why can't people see that my talent is beautiful if not perfect? That I'm not the prized silver fish, but a one-of-a-kind red fish, rare, not mutant?

Because behind this tough, rebellious image, I'm just a sad, lonely, insecure girl. Behind all the coolness of LADY RENEGADE, there is a shunned and unwanted kid who just wants to love, and to be loved in return. Behind this polemic rant there is the desperate cry of a girl who just wants to be understood. Behind my defiant persona there is a heart that is breaking, breaking, breaking, behind the not-quite-brilliant mind there is a forgotten soul.