Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
speak now #27: australia's war on labia
Now Playing: Comforting Sounds by Birdy (nobody has gained or accomplished anything)
Did you know?
Under Australian law, labia minora are too obscene for pornographic images, and must be 'healed to a single crease', either digitally or surgically.
Info:
The labia are two sets of lips that surround the clitoris, meatus and vaginal opening. The inner lips are closer to the vagina and are called the labia minora. The outer lips are next to the labia minora and are called the labia majora. The labia majora are typically bigger and fleshier than the labia minora, and in some women they can cover the labia minora. In other women the labia minora is longer and protrudes from the labia majora. The labia are a normal, functional part of the vulva, are highly sensitive and made of erectile tissue. The appearance, size and shape of the labia vary between people and can tell you pretty much nothing about whether or not a person has had sex or not, is having lots of sex or none at all, or has had children.
Labia and porn:
Under Australian law, softcore porn magazines are widely available under an M15+ rating, and allow full frontal nudity if they do not have too much 'genital detail'. Because pubic hair is rarely a feature in contemporary pornography, the labia minora is visible in the genital slit of some porn stars - this means that the majority of the vulvas depicted in these kinds of publications are edited, because our law denies the existence of an entire body part, or at least thinks that a normal, natural part of the biofemale body is 'obscene'. The Classification Board denies that they have much say in how magazines choose to edit their images, but magazine publishers claim that 'the only acceptable vagina as far as the Classification Board is concerned is one that is 'neat and tidy' in their eyes. They basically consider labia minora to be 'too offensive' for soft porn'.
Male interference and entitlement:
This information comes largely from a documentary that was released a few years ago called Labiaplasty, which looks into Australia's unique and uniquely offensive pornography laws. Everyone involved in this disturbing notion that genitals are too offensive for a form of entertainment pretty much focused on genitalia were...men - the plastic surgeon, the photo editor, the magazine publishers, the member of the Classification Board. The only women involved in the debate of whether or not labia are offensive was the reporter and, well, the hundreds of nameless and sometimes faceless women who grace the pages of these magazines, altered beyond recognition and beyond the realms of reality.
The influence of pornography:
In an age where it is virtually impossible to get access to realistic images of bodies and genitalia without social stigma, and in a society in which knowing your own anatomy and having even the vaguest idea of what is and isn't normal is still taboo, porn is not only an outlet and a form of entertainment, but also a sinisterly biased and confusingly misinforming educational medium. The only vulvas we see are the vulvas shown in these magazines that are extremely accessible and widely viewed; pornography is informing our ideas of what is and isn't right, and like all mass media consumption we often fail to analyse the imagery critically, to see that the images presented to us aren't real, and aren't normal. The target demographic of these magazines; young, straight men - are also our society's sexual abusers, rapists, sexists and the most intolerant of the diversity of human bodies and sexualities, and part of this attitude is because we've edited out of their masturbatory fantasies essential body parts and facts of life.
More than just a touch up:
The kind of editing in softcore porn is more than just deleting a few pimples or shaving a few centimetres off a waistline. This is editing out an entire body part - a body part that no biofemale doesn't have. It's like editing a nose off a face; the labia minora is there for a reason, and it takes invasive surgery and crippling insecurities to get rid of it. There is nothing wrong with any of these women who are constantly getting edited; the Classification Board is saying that there is a part of every single woman that is too obscene for people to even know of its existence.
'Neat and tidy':
The kind of vulvas seen in porn - hairless and 'healed to a single crease'...quite frankly, only infants have those kinds of vulvas naturally. This trend for neat and tidy vulvas with no hair, no wobbly bits, nothing that would suggest any kind of growth or sexual maturity is...really quite disturbing and almost pedophilic. And to hear men say that vuvlas that aren't 'neat and tidy' are obscene says a lot about attitudes towards female bodies - the constant pressure to lose weight, get rid of hairs, make this bigger, make that smaller, make this disappear entirely - the internalized sexism of our society means that we will never be content with what women look like in the way that we've settled for what men look like. Laws like these send a clear message to the women of Australia that they must alter themselves and put themselves through an ordeal of insecurity and even surgery before they are good enough to be fantasized about.
Silent laws and quiet taboos:
The tragedy of laws like these is that people are almost totally unaware of them; whilst many porn consumers are vaguely aware that most people don't look like porn stars, it is still embedded into the subconscious that bodies are meant to look a certain way - the way they look in porn. Everyone has their own sexual preferences, and these preferences will inevitably be influenced by society and the media we consume as a society - but when the media is telling us to worship silicone breasts and to totally forget about the existence of whole body parts, or to think of any part of the human body 'obscene'...you have to wonder of the impact this has on gendered interaction in our society.
Sex positivity, feminism and pornography:
Sex positivity and feminism are broad churches, and there are many different feminist and sex positive stances on pornography. As a sex positive feminist I believe pornography has the potential to be a healthy outlet and expression of sexuality, and a useful tool to facilitate a broader conversation of human sexuality and a greater knowledge of the diversity of human anatomy and sexuality. At the moment, however, pornography is the antithesis of what it could be - it perpetuates harmful, derogatory and even violent ideas of what sexual interaction looks like, consistently promotes unrealistic, altered bodies and ignores the great diversity of healthy human bodies, and instills paranoia, insecurity, intolerance and entitlement into the gendered interaction of our society. For pornography to become a legitimate part of the sex positive movement we really have to pull away from our obsession with digital editing, with unhealthy and unrealistic bodies, and our fear of diversity; there's nothing wrong with the concept of pornography, but the way in which this concept is executed has become tragically exploitative, derogatory and removed from reality.
PREVIOUS SPEAK NOW
Did you know?
Under Australian law, labia minora are too obscene for pornographic images, and must be 'healed to a single crease', either digitally or surgically.
Info:
The labia are two sets of lips that surround the clitoris, meatus and vaginal opening. The inner lips are closer to the vagina and are called the labia minora. The outer lips are next to the labia minora and are called the labia majora. The labia majora are typically bigger and fleshier than the labia minora, and in some women they can cover the labia minora. In other women the labia minora is longer and protrudes from the labia majora. The labia are a normal, functional part of the vulva, are highly sensitive and made of erectile tissue. The appearance, size and shape of the labia vary between people and can tell you pretty much nothing about whether or not a person has had sex or not, is having lots of sex or none at all, or has had children.
Labia and porn:
Under Australian law, softcore porn magazines are widely available under an M15+ rating, and allow full frontal nudity if they do not have too much 'genital detail'. Because pubic hair is rarely a feature in contemporary pornography, the labia minora is visible in the genital slit of some porn stars - this means that the majority of the vulvas depicted in these kinds of publications are edited, because our law denies the existence of an entire body part, or at least thinks that a normal, natural part of the biofemale body is 'obscene'. The Classification Board denies that they have much say in how magazines choose to edit their images, but magazine publishers claim that 'the only acceptable vagina as far as the Classification Board is concerned is one that is 'neat and tidy' in their eyes. They basically consider labia minora to be 'too offensive' for soft porn'.
Male interference and entitlement:
This information comes largely from a documentary that was released a few years ago called Labiaplasty, which looks into Australia's unique and uniquely offensive pornography laws. Everyone involved in this disturbing notion that genitals are too offensive for a form of entertainment pretty much focused on genitalia were...men - the plastic surgeon, the photo editor, the magazine publishers, the member of the Classification Board. The only women involved in the debate of whether or not labia are offensive was the reporter and, well, the hundreds of nameless and sometimes faceless women who grace the pages of these magazines, altered beyond recognition and beyond the realms of reality.
The influence of pornography:
In an age where it is virtually impossible to get access to realistic images of bodies and genitalia without social stigma, and in a society in which knowing your own anatomy and having even the vaguest idea of what is and isn't normal is still taboo, porn is not only an outlet and a form of entertainment, but also a sinisterly biased and confusingly misinforming educational medium. The only vulvas we see are the vulvas shown in these magazines that are extremely accessible and widely viewed; pornography is informing our ideas of what is and isn't right, and like all mass media consumption we often fail to analyse the imagery critically, to see that the images presented to us aren't real, and aren't normal. The target demographic of these magazines; young, straight men - are also our society's sexual abusers, rapists, sexists and the most intolerant of the diversity of human bodies and sexualities, and part of this attitude is because we've edited out of their masturbatory fantasies essential body parts and facts of life.
More than just a touch up:
The kind of editing in softcore porn is more than just deleting a few pimples or shaving a few centimetres off a waistline. This is editing out an entire body part - a body part that no biofemale doesn't have. It's like editing a nose off a face; the labia minora is there for a reason, and it takes invasive surgery and crippling insecurities to get rid of it. There is nothing wrong with any of these women who are constantly getting edited; the Classification Board is saying that there is a part of every single woman that is too obscene for people to even know of its existence.
'Neat and tidy':
The kind of vulvas seen in porn - hairless and 'healed to a single crease'...quite frankly, only infants have those kinds of vulvas naturally. This trend for neat and tidy vulvas with no hair, no wobbly bits, nothing that would suggest any kind of growth or sexual maturity is...really quite disturbing and almost pedophilic. And to hear men say that vuvlas that aren't 'neat and tidy' are obscene says a lot about attitudes towards female bodies - the constant pressure to lose weight, get rid of hairs, make this bigger, make that smaller, make this disappear entirely - the internalized sexism of our society means that we will never be content with what women look like in the way that we've settled for what men look like. Laws like these send a clear message to the women of Australia that they must alter themselves and put themselves through an ordeal of insecurity and even surgery before they are good enough to be fantasized about.
Silent laws and quiet taboos:
The tragedy of laws like these is that people are almost totally unaware of them; whilst many porn consumers are vaguely aware that most people don't look like porn stars, it is still embedded into the subconscious that bodies are meant to look a certain way - the way they look in porn. Everyone has their own sexual preferences, and these preferences will inevitably be influenced by society and the media we consume as a society - but when the media is telling us to worship silicone breasts and to totally forget about the existence of whole body parts, or to think of any part of the human body 'obscene'...you have to wonder of the impact this has on gendered interaction in our society.
Sex positivity, feminism and pornography:
Sex positivity and feminism are broad churches, and there are many different feminist and sex positive stances on pornography. As a sex positive feminist I believe pornography has the potential to be a healthy outlet and expression of sexuality, and a useful tool to facilitate a broader conversation of human sexuality and a greater knowledge of the diversity of human anatomy and sexuality. At the moment, however, pornography is the antithesis of what it could be - it perpetuates harmful, derogatory and even violent ideas of what sexual interaction looks like, consistently promotes unrealistic, altered bodies and ignores the great diversity of healthy human bodies, and instills paranoia, insecurity, intolerance and entitlement into the gendered interaction of our society. For pornography to become a legitimate part of the sex positive movement we really have to pull away from our obsession with digital editing, with unhealthy and unrealistic bodies, and our fear of diversity; there's nothing wrong with the concept of pornography, but the way in which this concept is executed has become tragically exploitative, derogatory and removed from reality.
PREVIOUS SPEAK NOW
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
speak now #26: vulva love
Now Playing: Young & Beautiful by Lana Del Rey (Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul?)
So...I'm going to put it out there that, unless you're blind or extremely brainwashed by some crazy culty religion, most biomales have seen, and touched, their genitalia. They know what they look like, downstairs - most guys I know have a pretty good idea of how everything male works.
A lot of biofemales, however, haven't seen or touched their genitalia; I'd even say that a good number of biofemales regardless of sexual experience or exposure to sexual images have seen more penises than vulvas. And really...nobody knows what a vulva looks like, what it does, what is and isn't normal. And that is not a good thing, because I really don't think we should be adding 'irrational anxiety over labia' to the growing list of Shit Girls Must Care About.
I think this general ignorance of basic biofemale anatomy largely comes from the fact that most of the female genitalia is hard to see - for starters, the vagina is an internal muscular passage and you can only see the opening from outside of the body, and the vulva is not exactly positioned for easy viewing, unlike biomale anatomy. There is a highly dangerous stigma of women touching or even looking at their genitalia, which means that a lot of biofemales are too embarassed or uncomfortable to take a look.
Anatomy Lesson.
The bikini area, or the lower abdomen that is normally covered by underwear, is called the mons pubis. This is the part of the genitalia that you can see if someone is standing up and facing front on. At the bottom of the mons pubis there is the genital slit, which may or may not be visible on a person standing normally.
Below the mons pubis is the vulva, which is the labia, clitoris and clitoral hood, meatus, vaginal opening and perineum. The labia are two sets of lips around the meatus, which is the urethral opening from which urine passes, and the entrance to the vagina. Above the meatus is the clitoris and clitoral hood, which is the female equivalent to the head of the penis, and below the vaginal opening is the perineum and then the anus.
Pubic hair grows on the mons pubis, the labia majora and the perineum. It can also grow on the inner thighs and in a line from the mons pubis up to the navel. The texture, colour and thickness of pubic hair varies from person to person, between different ethnicities, and is also dependent on age and grooming habits.
The vulva is a very sensitive and delicate part of the anatomy, for obvious reasons, and it's also very different to any other part of the human body. The skin can be a different colour to other body parts - usually darker - and have a different texture. There is a huge diversity in the size, shape and colour of the vulva that is totally underepresented by porn and sexual images in the mainstream media.
The meatus in biofemales passes urine and, in some people, female ejaculate. The vagina passes menses, cervical mucus, and vaginal discharge.
...And babies, by the way.
What's a vulva?
The vulva is the correct term for the external female genitalia. It is sometimes incorrectly called the vagina, which really only refers to the internal muscular passage that is the birth canal.
I can almost guarantee you are fine.
Unless something is painful, itchy or has an excessively unpleasant odour, whatever your parts look like is probably fine. We are not supposed to look the same, and we are definitely not all meant to look like porn stars. Porn stars don't even look like porn stars.
Vulvas and sex.
During sexual arousal the genital area becomes engorged with blood, so the vulva may swell and become darker in colour. The labia are made of erectile tissue and will also change shape and size during sexual arousal. Internally, the vagina lubricates itself and also becomes erect, although you can't really see that from the outside. The entire vulva is an erogenous zone but the clitoris - the only human organ solely for pleasure - has lots of nerve endings.
Vulva care:
1. Get accustomed to what you look like.
Part of becoming comfortable and aware of your body is to look and touch every single inch of it. Get used to what things feel like and look like and how they respond to touch, and take note of any changes to tell your doctor. The first time you actually see your anatomy might weird you out a little bit, in the same way that elbows probably look bizarre if you'd never seen one before. If you are really insecure about your vulva, get it looked at by your doctor who will tell you if there is anything wrong or out of the ordinary.
2. If you don't have one, don't fucking judge.
There is this horrible sense of male entitlement in which a growing number of arrogant fuckwits expect women to shave, wax, bleach, or even cut bits off of themselves just to make a more appealing hole for them to stick their penis in. If that's your attitude...you're going to be going a long time with nothing to stick your penis in. When I first saw a picture of a penis when I was...probably too young...it was the scariest, grossest thing I'd ever seen. Human bodies aren't always the most aesthetically pleasing. Deal with it.
3. Hygiene.
If you have a vulva the best way to maintain hygiene is to rinse the outside gently with warm water. Something that is marketed as purely a male thing - because it's perfectly fine for guys to have gross body secretions, but not girls - is that vulvas can collect smegma, which is a mixture of sebum and dead skin cells; it's important to wash that away before it can build up and cause an infection or irritation. Genital skin is very sensitive so don't use any soap or perfume of any kind.
Vaginas self-cleanse by passing discharge. You don't need to do anything to your vagina. Leave it alone.
4. Hair removal.
There is this huge pressure on people, especially women, to get rid of their pubic hair; which doesn't make a lot of sense, as pubic hair protects the genitalia from bacteria, harbours pheremones and isn't bad or unclean if one maintains basic hygiene; there is really nothing wrong with leaving hair as is. Hair removal can irritate the sensitive skin, and cuts and ingrown hairs are very common. Whatever you choose to do with your pubic hair, it is entirely up to you; don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything about any part of your body.
Surgery
There is a disturbing increase in the number of 'labiaplasty', 'vaginal rejuvination' and 'anal bleaching' and it is...freaking the shit out of me, to be honest. All of these surgeries are purely cosmetic and only serve to fuel insecurities, increase the pressure on biofemales to look like porn stars, and to make normal human anatomy seem somehow gross or undesirable. I'm always very saddened to hear of stories of women so insecure about their bodies that they mutilate themselves for no legitimate medical reason; but I don't blame them. I know what it's like to feel shit about how you look, even about a body part that most people don't see and, if they do see it...they shouldn't make you feel like shit about yourself.
Vulvas and porn
The reality of vulvas is that that they are bumpy, wrinkly, hairy, imperfect, and each vulva is totally unique. I really think that people are more accepting of the diversity of penises than the diversity of vulva, when in all honesty we should get over this obsession over what our genitals should and shouldn't look like. Seriously.
The vulvas in porn are almost always totally devoid of pubic hair and can look very different to your vulva or the vulvas of normal biofemales that you have seen. Under Australian obscenity law vulvas must be altered to be 'healed to a single crease' - and whilst some vulvas are like that most are digitally or surgically altered. In reality the labia are different shapes and sizes - one side might be larger, or the labia minora can peek out underneath the labia majora - and there is nothing medically wrong with that at all. As a sex positive feminist I really have no problem with porn, but I do have a problem with the way in which porn is produced and regulated. Porn should be a healthy outlet and expression of human sexuality, which is by definition diverse and beautiful in its diversity. Instead, porn perpetuates highly unrealistic bodies that are only achievable through surgery and the miracle of Photoshop.
Vulva shame.
There are a lot of rumours that vulvas look different if you've had sex or you haven't, or if you've had lots of sex, or that they have to look a certain way. This kind of shame is not really associated with penises...aside from insecurities over size you don't see the kind of obsession over male genitalia. I know a lot of biofemales who are terrified of their anatomy - scared that someone will shame them for what they look like, or smell like, or whatever. This problem is exacerbated when nobody ever sees a normal vulva and only see the vulvas in porn, and then male entitlement puts this idea in some people's heads that they are entitled to a tiny, surgically-altered, depilated vulva and that everything else is 'gross'. Internalized vulva shame is just caused by everyone having this ridiculous idea of what vulvas should look like and then being mortified when you don't look like a freaking Barbie doll down there. If you only see your vulva once or twice of course it's going to look pretty darn freaky; anything unfamiliar looks freaky, and it's ridiculous that we're so body negative that we're not even allowed to take a good look at our own body parts.
I think the only way to get over this ridiculous obsession with uniform vulvas is to put the mysteriously alien vulva into the context of the human body - everyone looks different. Some people are tall, some people are short. Some people are hairy, some people have removed some or all of that hair. Some people have full lips, some people have thin lips, some people are dark, some people are fair, some people are big-boned, some people are slender. THE SAME WITH VULVAS.
Vulva shamers.
When I was younger body shamers made me feel really insecure about what I looked like, and it wasn't until I had met people who...weren't assholes that I began to really feel more confident about my body. The trick to feeling confident about all of your body, including your genitalia, is to avoid people who live in this la la land of porn bodies and have this massive douchebag sense of entitelement to expect bodies that have been through invasive, painful procedures. The kinds of people to avoid are:
- Obsessive body police. Someone who constantly comments on what people look like or how they dress, especially if they do this to strangers, aren't likely to be sympathetic if your vulva doesn't look like a fleshlight.
- People who can't handle a sensible, mature discussion of menstruation, contraception, pregnancy, or can't say 'boobs' or 'vaginas' without hyena laughing
- Someone who tells you you should dress a different way, or change the way you do your hair, are more likely to pressure you into altering your pubic hair or genitalia
The problem is really with other people, not with you - it's not your responsibility to alter your body to please everybody, it's their responsibility to decide for themselves what they do or do not like, and realize that the world does not revolve around them or their masturbatory fantasies. I figured this out when I was younger and people, mostly girls, were constantly pointing out that one of my breasts is larger than the other - as if I didn't know what my own fucking breasts look like. This was just one of the many things that made me feel crap about my body and I was really insecure about something that most people didn't notice, or if they did notice didn't really care or point it out. It was only later when I had met people who were so stoked that I even had breasts that I realized that my boobs are awesome, my body is awesome, and you can either listen to the haters and feel crap about your body or find people to appreciate who you are and what you look like.
I'm having surgery this week and will be taking some time off from the speak now project to rest and prepare for next semester of uni. I will be back soon :)
PREVIOUS SPEAK NOW
So...I'm going to put it out there that, unless you're blind or extremely brainwashed by some crazy culty religion, most biomales have seen, and touched, their genitalia. They know what they look like, downstairs - most guys I know have a pretty good idea of how everything male works.
A lot of biofemales, however, haven't seen or touched their genitalia; I'd even say that a good number of biofemales regardless of sexual experience or exposure to sexual images have seen more penises than vulvas. And really...nobody knows what a vulva looks like, what it does, what is and isn't normal. And that is not a good thing, because I really don't think we should be adding 'irrational anxiety over labia' to the growing list of Shit Girls Must Care About.
I think this general ignorance of basic biofemale anatomy largely comes from the fact that most of the female genitalia is hard to see - for starters, the vagina is an internal muscular passage and you can only see the opening from outside of the body, and the vulva is not exactly positioned for easy viewing, unlike biomale anatomy. There is a highly dangerous stigma of women touching or even looking at their genitalia, which means that a lot of biofemales are too embarassed or uncomfortable to take a look.
Anatomy Lesson.
The bikini area, or the lower abdomen that is normally covered by underwear, is called the mons pubis. This is the part of the genitalia that you can see if someone is standing up and facing front on. At the bottom of the mons pubis there is the genital slit, which may or may not be visible on a person standing normally.
Below the mons pubis is the vulva, which is the labia, clitoris and clitoral hood, meatus, vaginal opening and perineum. The labia are two sets of lips around the meatus, which is the urethral opening from which urine passes, and the entrance to the vagina. Above the meatus is the clitoris and clitoral hood, which is the female equivalent to the head of the penis, and below the vaginal opening is the perineum and then the anus.
Pubic hair grows on the mons pubis, the labia majora and the perineum. It can also grow on the inner thighs and in a line from the mons pubis up to the navel. The texture, colour and thickness of pubic hair varies from person to person, between different ethnicities, and is also dependent on age and grooming habits.
The vulva is a very sensitive and delicate part of the anatomy, for obvious reasons, and it's also very different to any other part of the human body. The skin can be a different colour to other body parts - usually darker - and have a different texture. There is a huge diversity in the size, shape and colour of the vulva that is totally underepresented by porn and sexual images in the mainstream media.
The meatus in biofemales passes urine and, in some people, female ejaculate. The vagina passes menses, cervical mucus, and vaginal discharge.
...And babies, by the way.
What's a vulva?
The vulva is the correct term for the external female genitalia. It is sometimes incorrectly called the vagina, which really only refers to the internal muscular passage that is the birth canal.
I can almost guarantee you are fine.
Unless something is painful, itchy or has an excessively unpleasant odour, whatever your parts look like is probably fine. We are not supposed to look the same, and we are definitely not all meant to look like porn stars. Porn stars don't even look like porn stars.
Vulvas and sex.
During sexual arousal the genital area becomes engorged with blood, so the vulva may swell and become darker in colour. The labia are made of erectile tissue and will also change shape and size during sexual arousal. Internally, the vagina lubricates itself and also becomes erect, although you can't really see that from the outside. The entire vulva is an erogenous zone but the clitoris - the only human organ solely for pleasure - has lots of nerve endings.
Vulva care:
1. Get accustomed to what you look like.
Part of becoming comfortable and aware of your body is to look and touch every single inch of it. Get used to what things feel like and look like and how they respond to touch, and take note of any changes to tell your doctor. The first time you actually see your anatomy might weird you out a little bit, in the same way that elbows probably look bizarre if you'd never seen one before. If you are really insecure about your vulva, get it looked at by your doctor who will tell you if there is anything wrong or out of the ordinary.
2. If you don't have one, don't fucking judge.
There is this horrible sense of male entitlement in which a growing number of arrogant fuckwits expect women to shave, wax, bleach, or even cut bits off of themselves just to make a more appealing hole for them to stick their penis in. If that's your attitude...you're going to be going a long time with nothing to stick your penis in. When I first saw a picture of a penis when I was...probably too young...it was the scariest, grossest thing I'd ever seen. Human bodies aren't always the most aesthetically pleasing. Deal with it.
3. Hygiene.
If you have a vulva the best way to maintain hygiene is to rinse the outside gently with warm water. Something that is marketed as purely a male thing - because it's perfectly fine for guys to have gross body secretions, but not girls - is that vulvas can collect smegma, which is a mixture of sebum and dead skin cells; it's important to wash that away before it can build up and cause an infection or irritation. Genital skin is very sensitive so don't use any soap or perfume of any kind.
Vaginas self-cleanse by passing discharge. You don't need to do anything to your vagina. Leave it alone.
4. Hair removal.
There is this huge pressure on people, especially women, to get rid of their pubic hair; which doesn't make a lot of sense, as pubic hair protects the genitalia from bacteria, harbours pheremones and isn't bad or unclean if one maintains basic hygiene; there is really nothing wrong with leaving hair as is. Hair removal can irritate the sensitive skin, and cuts and ingrown hairs are very common. Whatever you choose to do with your pubic hair, it is entirely up to you; don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything about any part of your body.
Surgery
There is a disturbing increase in the number of 'labiaplasty', 'vaginal rejuvination' and 'anal bleaching' and it is...freaking the shit out of me, to be honest. All of these surgeries are purely cosmetic and only serve to fuel insecurities, increase the pressure on biofemales to look like porn stars, and to make normal human anatomy seem somehow gross or undesirable. I'm always very saddened to hear of stories of women so insecure about their bodies that they mutilate themselves for no legitimate medical reason; but I don't blame them. I know what it's like to feel shit about how you look, even about a body part that most people don't see and, if they do see it...they shouldn't make you feel like shit about yourself.
Vulvas and porn
The reality of vulvas is that that they are bumpy, wrinkly, hairy, imperfect, and each vulva is totally unique. I really think that people are more accepting of the diversity of penises than the diversity of vulva, when in all honesty we should get over this obsession over what our genitals should and shouldn't look like. Seriously.
The vulvas in porn are almost always totally devoid of pubic hair and can look very different to your vulva or the vulvas of normal biofemales that you have seen. Under Australian obscenity law vulvas must be altered to be 'healed to a single crease' - and whilst some vulvas are like that most are digitally or surgically altered. In reality the labia are different shapes and sizes - one side might be larger, or the labia minora can peek out underneath the labia majora - and there is nothing medically wrong with that at all. As a sex positive feminist I really have no problem with porn, but I do have a problem with the way in which porn is produced and regulated. Porn should be a healthy outlet and expression of human sexuality, which is by definition diverse and beautiful in its diversity. Instead, porn perpetuates highly unrealistic bodies that are only achievable through surgery and the miracle of Photoshop.
Vulva shame.
There are a lot of rumours that vulvas look different if you've had sex or you haven't, or if you've had lots of sex, or that they have to look a certain way. This kind of shame is not really associated with penises...aside from insecurities over size you don't see the kind of obsession over male genitalia. I know a lot of biofemales who are terrified of their anatomy - scared that someone will shame them for what they look like, or smell like, or whatever. This problem is exacerbated when nobody ever sees a normal vulva and only see the vulvas in porn, and then male entitlement puts this idea in some people's heads that they are entitled to a tiny, surgically-altered, depilated vulva and that everything else is 'gross'. Internalized vulva shame is just caused by everyone having this ridiculous idea of what vulvas should look like and then being mortified when you don't look like a freaking Barbie doll down there. If you only see your vulva once or twice of course it's going to look pretty darn freaky; anything unfamiliar looks freaky, and it's ridiculous that we're so body negative that we're not even allowed to take a good look at our own body parts.
I think the only way to get over this ridiculous obsession with uniform vulvas is to put the mysteriously alien vulva into the context of the human body - everyone looks different. Some people are tall, some people are short. Some people are hairy, some people have removed some or all of that hair. Some people have full lips, some people have thin lips, some people are dark, some people are fair, some people are big-boned, some people are slender. THE SAME WITH VULVAS.
Vulva shamers.
When I was younger body shamers made me feel really insecure about what I looked like, and it wasn't until I had met people who...weren't assholes that I began to really feel more confident about my body. The trick to feeling confident about all of your body, including your genitalia, is to avoid people who live in this la la land of porn bodies and have this massive douchebag sense of entitelement to expect bodies that have been through invasive, painful procedures. The kinds of people to avoid are:
- Obsessive body police. Someone who constantly comments on what people look like or how they dress, especially if they do this to strangers, aren't likely to be sympathetic if your vulva doesn't look like a fleshlight.
- People who can't handle a sensible, mature discussion of menstruation, contraception, pregnancy, or can't say 'boobs' or 'vaginas' without hyena laughing
- Someone who tells you you should dress a different way, or change the way you do your hair, are more likely to pressure you into altering your pubic hair or genitalia
The problem is really with other people, not with you - it's not your responsibility to alter your body to please everybody, it's their responsibility to decide for themselves what they do or do not like, and realize that the world does not revolve around them or their masturbatory fantasies. I figured this out when I was younger and people, mostly girls, were constantly pointing out that one of my breasts is larger than the other - as if I didn't know what my own fucking breasts look like. This was just one of the many things that made me feel crap about my body and I was really insecure about something that most people didn't notice, or if they did notice didn't really care or point it out. It was only later when I had met people who were so stoked that I even had breasts that I realized that my boobs are awesome, my body is awesome, and you can either listen to the haters and feel crap about your body or find people to appreciate who you are and what you look like.
I'm having surgery this week and will be taking some time off from the speak now project to rest and prepare for next semester of uni. I will be back soon :)
PREVIOUS SPEAK NOW
Sunday, July 21, 2013
하얀 사랑
My love for you was pastel pink
It was you who brought a blush to virgin cheeks
A kiss to virgin lips
Every day we moved with tender touch
We moved with awkward touch
Hate, my dear
Is sinister green
Jealous fury and twisted, bitter joy
Traffic lights through my bedroom window
As I cry myself to sleep
My love for you is fiery red
Violent delights have violent ends
And thus, with a kiss, I consume
The tempest of rage and greed
Warm hearts and cold hands
And you are the sun
Golden and shining
Without you the world is black and cold
It is only from your company
That I have known the misery of your absence
I am not the girl of daybreak hues anymore
I am no longer your sunrise paramour
The sun still rises but I close my eyes
I live in the memory of our soft, beautiful dawn
I must learn to not regret what could not be
Love is pure and blinding
The sun shines pink through the clouds and gold in the rain
Glows green through the cool shade of the trees
Fire burns red, then white
Love is white, and we are not.
It was you who brought a blush to virgin cheeks
A kiss to virgin lips
Every day we moved with tender touch
We moved with awkward touch
Hate, my dear
Is sinister green
Jealous fury and twisted, bitter joy
Traffic lights through my bedroom window
As I cry myself to sleep
My love for you is fiery red
Violent delights have violent ends
And thus, with a kiss, I consume
The tempest of rage and greed
Warm hearts and cold hands
And you are the sun
Golden and shining
Without you the world is black and cold
It is only from your company
That I have known the misery of your absence
I am not the girl of daybreak hues anymore
I am no longer your sunrise paramour
The sun still rises but I close my eyes
I live in the memory of our soft, beautiful dawn
I must learn to not regret what could not be
Love is pure and blinding
The sun shines pink through the clouds and gold in the rain
Glows green through the cool shade of the trees
Fire burns red, then white
Love is white, and we are not.
Click here for a discussion of 하얀 사랑
speak now #25: feministish analysis
Now Playing: Les Miserables 10th Anniversary Concert (glad to do me friends a favour, doesn't cost me to be nice, but nothing gets you nothing, everything has got a little price)
What is feminist analysis? What is the point?
Feminist analysis is a discussion of the treatment of women in media, and whether or not the ideas reinforce or challenge ideas in society, and whether or not the depiction of women is degrading or empowering. Here are some things I consider when I'm reading a text from a feminist perspective:
1. Why is this character female?
The Smurfette Principle is a trope that dictates that characters are by default male, unless it is necessary for the plot for a character to be female. This has led to not only a distinct lack of representation of women in popular culture, but also the need to make very shallow, stereotypical representations of women that do not offer much by way of discussion or critique of how women are treated in society. Characters are normally female because they are a love interest or a mother of a male character; the hero, the brains, the nerd...they're all typically male by default.
2. Is this character a person or just a thing?
Characters in a text serve four purposes. Firstly, they are representations of a person or a group of people that exist in our society. Secondly, a character and his/her actions serve as social commentary or criticism. Thirdly, characters are plot devices - catalysts of action or drama, or the cause of some plot twist. And finally, characters are supposed to be representations of humanity, inspire empathy in us. We should empathise with their decisions, see the good in ourselves in them, and also the bad. Because characters are deliberately female or by default male they usually don't fulfill all of the above criteria. Usually they only fulfil the third, as plot devices - a woman is kidnapped and a man has to go rescue her, or a woman seduces a man into all sorts of fucked up shit.
3. The Bechdel Test
The Bechdel Test is a test of representation of women in a film, with three rules - there must be at least two female characters, they must have names, and they must talk to each other about something other than a man. This test doesn't even gauge if a film is feminist, or not misogynistic, or not dominated by men, yet so many films fail it.
Just a note:
A lot of people attempt to do feminist criticism and just end up nitpicking. Oh, she cried, she's so weak. Oh, she's wearing a pink dress, how anti-feminist. Oh, look at that, she's gone and kissed him. She's letting down the sisterhood.
We have got to get over our love affair with 'strong women' in popular culture. Often these 'strong women' get all their 'strength' from pretending to be men, and then immediately abandon the heroics when they stop the cross dressing thing. Vulnerable women, weak women, morally corrupt women...they all exist, in society, and popular culture is about reflecting society. If done right, a vulnerable female character can often be a very clever criticism of how women are victimized by patriarchy. What matters is the breadth and scope of representation, what's missing, why women are victimized or glorified and what that says about society.
Another thing to note is that feminist criticism doesn't take away from the quality or entertainment factor of a particular movie or TV series or book, and not every female character can be Germaine Greer reincarnated. But it is important to understand feminist criticism, and to acknowledge the feminist lens on popular culture, and to acknowledge that the way in which women are treated in popular culture can be stereotypical, degrading, harmful and, most importantly, hugely influential on our personal values and the psychology of our society.
Stay tuned and stay beautiful for some feministish analyses :)
PREVIOUS SPEAK NOW
What is feminist analysis? What is the point?
Feminist analysis is a discussion of the treatment of women in media, and whether or not the ideas reinforce or challenge ideas in society, and whether or not the depiction of women is degrading or empowering. Here are some things I consider when I'm reading a text from a feminist perspective:
1. Why is this character female?
The Smurfette Principle is a trope that dictates that characters are by default male, unless it is necessary for the plot for a character to be female. This has led to not only a distinct lack of representation of women in popular culture, but also the need to make very shallow, stereotypical representations of women that do not offer much by way of discussion or critique of how women are treated in society. Characters are normally female because they are a love interest or a mother of a male character; the hero, the brains, the nerd...they're all typically male by default.
2. Is this character a person or just a thing?
Characters in a text serve four purposes. Firstly, they are representations of a person or a group of people that exist in our society. Secondly, a character and his/her actions serve as social commentary or criticism. Thirdly, characters are plot devices - catalysts of action or drama, or the cause of some plot twist. And finally, characters are supposed to be representations of humanity, inspire empathy in us. We should empathise with their decisions, see the good in ourselves in them, and also the bad. Because characters are deliberately female or by default male they usually don't fulfill all of the above criteria. Usually they only fulfil the third, as plot devices - a woman is kidnapped and a man has to go rescue her, or a woman seduces a man into all sorts of fucked up shit.
3. The Bechdel Test
The Bechdel Test is a test of representation of women in a film, with three rules - there must be at least two female characters, they must have names, and they must talk to each other about something other than a man. This test doesn't even gauge if a film is feminist, or not misogynistic, or not dominated by men, yet so many films fail it.
Just a note:
A lot of people attempt to do feminist criticism and just end up nitpicking. Oh, she cried, she's so weak. Oh, she's wearing a pink dress, how anti-feminist. Oh, look at that, she's gone and kissed him. She's letting down the sisterhood.
We have got to get over our love affair with 'strong women' in popular culture. Often these 'strong women' get all their 'strength' from pretending to be men, and then immediately abandon the heroics when they stop the cross dressing thing. Vulnerable women, weak women, morally corrupt women...they all exist, in society, and popular culture is about reflecting society. If done right, a vulnerable female character can often be a very clever criticism of how women are victimized by patriarchy. What matters is the breadth and scope of representation, what's missing, why women are victimized or glorified and what that says about society.
Another thing to note is that feminist criticism doesn't take away from the quality or entertainment factor of a particular movie or TV series or book, and not every female character can be Germaine Greer reincarnated. But it is important to understand feminist criticism, and to acknowledge the feminist lens on popular culture, and to acknowledge that the way in which women are treated in popular culture can be stereotypical, degrading, harmful and, most importantly, hugely influential on our personal values and the psychology of our society.
Stay tuned and stay beautiful for some feministish analyses :)
PREVIOUS SPEAK NOW
Saturday, July 20, 2013
speak now #24: period talk
Now Playing: Les Miserables: Highlights from the Motion Picture Soundtrack (watering the wine, making up the weight, picking up their knick knacks when they can't see straight)
Everything everyone needs to know about periods.
1. What is period bleeding?
In the menstrual cycle the uterus creates a bloody lining for a fertilized egg to implant itself in. If the egg isn't fertilized, or if it fails to implant, the egg and the lining falls away from the uterine wall and is passed through the vagina and a fresh lining begins to form. Period bleeding is normally composed of about 3 tablespoons of blood per month, plus 3-6 tablespoons of tissue, blood clots and mucus. The consistency and quantity varies by age, from person to person, and between the different days, and can be pink, bright red, dull red, dark red, brown or even black. The menstrual cycle is judged from the first day of bleeding until the next first day of bleeding, and is typically 20-40 days long, although in younger women it can be very unpredictable. A period normally lasts between 2-8 days
2. Menarche
Menarche is the first menstrual bleeding in biofemales, and typically occurs around the age of 12 or 13, but can happen anytime between 9 and 15. Although the blood lining has already started to form and fall away from the body each month, ovulation doesn't normally occur until 18 months after menarche.
3. PMS and period pain
If someone tells you that they don't get any pain or discomfort with their period at all, believe them. Because not everyone suffers from PMS or period pain. If someone tells you it's utter hell and they become a nervous wreck, believe them, because PMS and period pain can be very severe. Typical symptoms include
- Headache
- Stomach ache or cramps
- Vaginal contractions
- Weak legs
- Fatigue or nausea
- Mood swings, depression, anxiety or increased irritability
- Bloating or temporary weight gain
- Changes in acne
4. Managing PMS and period pain
- Stretching and mild exercise
- Avoiding caffeine and alcohol
- Heat packs
- Ibuprofen
5. Contraception
Some biofemales use contraception to regulate periods, make them lighter, or decrease the severity of symptoms. Some contraception methods, like the implant, can make periods go away completely, and the hormonal IUD is used to either stop period bleeding or make them very light. Other contraception methods, like the copper IUD, can make periods heavier and more painful.
7. Feminine hygiene products
Disposable pads - pads made of plastic, paper pulp, cotton and/or absorbent gel that stick onto the underwear with adhesive and are thrown away after use. Pads are useful if it is uncomfortable to use internal protection and come in lots of lengths and absorbencies. They can be used overnight, but not for swimming and may be uncomfortable to wear during exercise. Disposable pads are not ideal for sensitive skin as they can cause rashes. Disposable pads can be worn through the night, but during the day should be changed every 2-4 hours to prevent leakage or odour.
Reusable pads - pads made of cloth that are washed and reused. Reusable pads are more cost-effective than disposable pads and are more suitable for sensitive skin. Reusable pads can be worn through the night, and changed as necessary throughout the day to prevent leakage.
Tampons - a mass of cotton or rayon that is worn internally to absorb menstrual flow and thrown away after use. Tampons can be used whilst swimming or exercising, but should not be worn for more than eight hours or overnight and tampon use is associated with TSS. Tampons should be changed every 4-6 hours and not worn longer than 8 hours.
Sponge or soft tampons - a synthetic sponge worn against the cervix to absorb menstrual flow. Easier to insert than tampons and can be used during swimming or exercise, but should not be worn for more than eight hours or overnight and sponge use is associated with TSS. They can also be used during sex. The sponge should be changed every 4-6 hours and not worn longer than 8 hours.
Sea sponge - a natural sea sponge that has been processed and cut specifically for use as menstrual protection, worn against the cervix. The sea sponge is rinsed between uses and sterilized at the end of each cycle. They can be used during swimming, exercise, overnight and during sex, although they should not be used by someone who has previously had TSS. The sea sponge should be changed every 12 hours.
Reusable menstrual cup - a rubber or silicone cup inserted into the vagina to catch menstrual flow. The cup is emptied and rinsed between each use and sterilized after each cycle.The menstrual cup can be worn overnight and during swimming or exercise, and is not associated with TSS. There is a learning curve to learning how to insert and remove the menstrual cup but it is suitable for heavy flow as it has a larger capacity than pads or tampons, and tampons or sponges can be put inside the cup to increase absorbency. The reusable menstrual cup should be changed every 12 hours.
Disposable menstrual cup - a plastic cup inserted into the vagina to catch menstrual flow and thrown away after use. The cup can be used overnight, during swimming or exercise, and during sex. The disposable menstrual cup should be changed every 12 hours.
Semi-reusable menstrual cup - a plastic cup inserted into the vagina to catch menstrual flow. It is emptied and rinsed between uses and thrown away at the end of each cycle. The cup can be used overnight, during swimming or exercise, and during sex. The semi-reusable menstrual cup should be changed every 12 hours.
8. Periods and sex
You can have sex during your period, although not everyone is comfortable or interested in that. Sex can relieve symptoms of PMS, and sometimes the influx of hormones can make some women horny during their period. In most women the menstrual flow stops or slows down during sexual excitement. The disposable and semi-reusable (but not reusable) menstrual cup, sea sponge and soft tampons can all be used during sex. Whilst pregnancy risk is reduced during a biofemale's period (although pregnancy is not completely impossible), the cervix is much more vulnerable to infection during a period.
9. TSS
Toxic shock syndrome, or TSS, is a potentially fatal illness caused by a bacterial toxin. This bacterial toxin can be introduced to the cervix by using tampons. To avoid TSS, wash your hands before and after inserting tampons or internal menstrual protection, and don't wear tampons or soft tampons for longer than eight hours or sea sponges and menstrual cups for longer than twelve hours. Symptoms of TSS include high fever, low blood pressure, malaise and a characteristic rash that resembles sunburn. If you get any of these symptoms remove and internal menstrual protection and go to the hospital immediately. Anyone who has previously had TSS should not use internal menstrual protection.
10. Period stigma
I had my menarche when I was quite young, and so I've received lots of period hate - mostly from boys and girls who hadn't started yet. I think the period stigma in men comes from a place of ignorance; a lot of men, especially men who haven't been with a lot of women, don't understand menstruation and everything it entails. When I was in primary school the sex education was particularly vague, and so many people had the wrong idea about periods and just assumed that periods were connected to pregnancy or promiscuity. Period stigma can also be seen as a result of male entitlement - a woman's right to exist is based purely on her attractiveness and accessibility to men, and, well...periods aren't sexy. But you know what? Women do not exist for the sole purpose of being sexy. Periods are crap enough as they are without being mocked or demonized.
I had my menarche when I was eleven, and for the first year or so it was fine - fairly regular, fairly light, and not too uncomfortable. Then after that it took a turn for the sucky and my periods became very heavy, irregular and painful. The symptoms have varied through the years but at the moment I get really bad contractions, cramps, and the most unbelievable mood swings. Before my menarche I had a very traumatic bullying experience involving little fuckwits being morons about menstruation, and when I was fourteen a boy grabbed a pad out of my bag, tore it open and then dropped it on the ground for everyone to see. The hardest part about having my period is the total lack of sympathy - many boys think period pain doesn't exist, or shouldn't be acknowledged, or that we're just being wimps about it. But believe me - I have lived through major open heart surgery and countless medical scares. I have been in so much pain that I screamed that I wanted to die, and I meant it. And period pain, when it gets very intense...it's almost up there, with that.
< br />
PREVIOUS SPEAK NOW
Everything everyone needs to know about periods.
1. What is period bleeding?
In the menstrual cycle the uterus creates a bloody lining for a fertilized egg to implant itself in. If the egg isn't fertilized, or if it fails to implant, the egg and the lining falls away from the uterine wall and is passed through the vagina and a fresh lining begins to form. Period bleeding is normally composed of about 3 tablespoons of blood per month, plus 3-6 tablespoons of tissue, blood clots and mucus. The consistency and quantity varies by age, from person to person, and between the different days, and can be pink, bright red, dull red, dark red, brown or even black. The menstrual cycle is judged from the first day of bleeding until the next first day of bleeding, and is typically 20-40 days long, although in younger women it can be very unpredictable. A period normally lasts between 2-8 days
2. Menarche
Menarche is the first menstrual bleeding in biofemales, and typically occurs around the age of 12 or 13, but can happen anytime between 9 and 15. Although the blood lining has already started to form and fall away from the body each month, ovulation doesn't normally occur until 18 months after menarche.
3. PMS and period pain
If someone tells you that they don't get any pain or discomfort with their period at all, believe them. Because not everyone suffers from PMS or period pain. If someone tells you it's utter hell and they become a nervous wreck, believe them, because PMS and period pain can be very severe. Typical symptoms include
- Headache
- Stomach ache or cramps
- Vaginal contractions
- Weak legs
- Fatigue or nausea
- Mood swings, depression, anxiety or increased irritability
- Bloating or temporary weight gain
- Changes in acne
4. Managing PMS and period pain
- Stretching and mild exercise
- Avoiding caffeine and alcohol
- Heat packs
- Ibuprofen
5. Contraception
Some biofemales use contraception to regulate periods, make them lighter, or decrease the severity of symptoms. Some contraception methods, like the implant, can make periods go away completely, and the hormonal IUD is used to either stop period bleeding or make them very light. Other contraception methods, like the copper IUD, can make periods heavier and more painful.
7. Feminine hygiene products
Disposable pads - pads made of plastic, paper pulp, cotton and/or absorbent gel that stick onto the underwear with adhesive and are thrown away after use. Pads are useful if it is uncomfortable to use internal protection and come in lots of lengths and absorbencies. They can be used overnight, but not for swimming and may be uncomfortable to wear during exercise. Disposable pads are not ideal for sensitive skin as they can cause rashes. Disposable pads can be worn through the night, but during the day should be changed every 2-4 hours to prevent leakage or odour.
Reusable pads - pads made of cloth that are washed and reused. Reusable pads are more cost-effective than disposable pads and are more suitable for sensitive skin. Reusable pads can be worn through the night, and changed as necessary throughout the day to prevent leakage.
Tampons - a mass of cotton or rayon that is worn internally to absorb menstrual flow and thrown away after use. Tampons can be used whilst swimming or exercising, but should not be worn for more than eight hours or overnight and tampon use is associated with TSS. Tampons should be changed every 4-6 hours and not worn longer than 8 hours.
Sponge or soft tampons - a synthetic sponge worn against the cervix to absorb menstrual flow. Easier to insert than tampons and can be used during swimming or exercise, but should not be worn for more than eight hours or overnight and sponge use is associated with TSS. They can also be used during sex. The sponge should be changed every 4-6 hours and not worn longer than 8 hours.
Sea sponge - a natural sea sponge that has been processed and cut specifically for use as menstrual protection, worn against the cervix. The sea sponge is rinsed between uses and sterilized at the end of each cycle. They can be used during swimming, exercise, overnight and during sex, although they should not be used by someone who has previously had TSS. The sea sponge should be changed every 12 hours.
Reusable menstrual cup - a rubber or silicone cup inserted into the vagina to catch menstrual flow. The cup is emptied and rinsed between each use and sterilized after each cycle.The menstrual cup can be worn overnight and during swimming or exercise, and is not associated with TSS. There is a learning curve to learning how to insert and remove the menstrual cup but it is suitable for heavy flow as it has a larger capacity than pads or tampons, and tampons or sponges can be put inside the cup to increase absorbency. The reusable menstrual cup should be changed every 12 hours.
Disposable menstrual cup - a plastic cup inserted into the vagina to catch menstrual flow and thrown away after use. The cup can be used overnight, during swimming or exercise, and during sex. The disposable menstrual cup should be changed every 12 hours.
Semi-reusable menstrual cup - a plastic cup inserted into the vagina to catch menstrual flow. It is emptied and rinsed between uses and thrown away at the end of each cycle. The cup can be used overnight, during swimming or exercise, and during sex. The semi-reusable menstrual cup should be changed every 12 hours.
8. Periods and sex
You can have sex during your period, although not everyone is comfortable or interested in that. Sex can relieve symptoms of PMS, and sometimes the influx of hormones can make some women horny during their period. In most women the menstrual flow stops or slows down during sexual excitement. The disposable and semi-reusable (but not reusable) menstrual cup, sea sponge and soft tampons can all be used during sex. Whilst pregnancy risk is reduced during a biofemale's period (although pregnancy is not completely impossible), the cervix is much more vulnerable to infection during a period.
9. TSS
Toxic shock syndrome, or TSS, is a potentially fatal illness caused by a bacterial toxin. This bacterial toxin can be introduced to the cervix by using tampons. To avoid TSS, wash your hands before and after inserting tampons or internal menstrual protection, and don't wear tampons or soft tampons for longer than eight hours or sea sponges and menstrual cups for longer than twelve hours. Symptoms of TSS include high fever, low blood pressure, malaise and a characteristic rash that resembles sunburn. If you get any of these symptoms remove and internal menstrual protection and go to the hospital immediately. Anyone who has previously had TSS should not use internal menstrual protection.
10. Period stigma
I had my menarche when I was quite young, and so I've received lots of period hate - mostly from boys and girls who hadn't started yet. I think the period stigma in men comes from a place of ignorance; a lot of men, especially men who haven't been with a lot of women, don't understand menstruation and everything it entails. When I was in primary school the sex education was particularly vague, and so many people had the wrong idea about periods and just assumed that periods were connected to pregnancy or promiscuity. Period stigma can also be seen as a result of male entitlement - a woman's right to exist is based purely on her attractiveness and accessibility to men, and, well...periods aren't sexy. But you know what? Women do not exist for the sole purpose of being sexy. Periods are crap enough as they are without being mocked or demonized.
I had my menarche when I was eleven, and for the first year or so it was fine - fairly regular, fairly light, and not too uncomfortable. Then after that it took a turn for the sucky and my periods became very heavy, irregular and painful. The symptoms have varied through the years but at the moment I get really bad contractions, cramps, and the most unbelievable mood swings. Before my menarche I had a very traumatic bullying experience involving little fuckwits being morons about menstruation, and when I was fourteen a boy grabbed a pad out of my bag, tore it open and then dropped it on the ground for everyone to see. The hardest part about having my period is the total lack of sympathy - many boys think period pain doesn't exist, or shouldn't be acknowledged, or that we're just being wimps about it. But believe me - I have lived through major open heart surgery and countless medical scares. I have been in so much pain that I screamed that I wanted to die, and I meant it. And period pain, when it gets very intense...it's almost up there, with that.
< br />
PREVIOUS SPEAK NOW
Friday, July 19, 2013
speak now #23: the sex talk - periods
Now Playing: Comforting Sounds by Birdy (nothing is pure anymore but solitude)
So here's something new.
Every week I'm going to be collecting a bunch of quotes from my friends in facebook, tumblr, famous dead people quotes...all on one topic. There will be personal stories and anecdotes and embarassing momements and fun facts and lots of rants and opinions :). If you would like to participate in next week's sex talk, next week's topic is BREASTS AND BRAS. Email, comment here, send me a message on tumblr - all quotes are anonymous.
So here's something new.
Every week I'm going to be collecting a bunch of quotes from my friends in facebook, tumblr, famous dead people quotes...all on one topic. There will be personal stories and anecdotes and embarassing momements and fun facts and lots of rants and opinions :). If you would like to participate in next week's sex talk, next week's topic is BREASTS AND BRAS. Email, comment here, send me a message on tumblr - all quotes are anonymous.
"Unless you physically see me opening a pad, don't just assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period. Because that is just annoying, and tonight, when you're sleeping, I will JUST ASSUME that you are dead and bury you in the backyard"
"I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome so basically three of four weeks of my cycle is agony. Ovulation, PMS and my period are hilariously painful and sometimes it just makes me too depressed to get out of bed. A lot of people don't understand though, because menstruating isn't an "illness" so it's not an excuse"
"Few normal bodily functions have been treated quite so disdainfully as one of the most basic and earthly cycles known to humanity - menstruation"
"People who shame people who bleed through their clothes: sometimes you just can't remember, and sometimes your body likes to surprise the fuck out of you. It's embarassing enough as it is. You don't have to make it worse by making the person feel even more humiliated"
"Throughout Western history the overwhelming message has been that when you are menstruating you are dirty, impure, and that you need to hide it"
"My periods are extremely unpredictable, heavy and painful - I get cramps, contractions, jelly legs, mood swings, the whole lot. It was especially bad when I was younger, but I suffered in silence even when I could barely walk and I was leaking through overnight pads in an hour. We were supposed to pretend that nobody ever bled, ever, and we were meant to deny that bleeding might be unpleasant or inconvenient for some people."
"One time I sneezed in Woolies and even though I was wearing a tampon it somehow legitimately exploded down my legs"
"Okay. Period pains. It is like someone has reached into your gut and is just twisting everything and just moving their hands around inside you, and is then coupled with a headache. It honestly just feels like someone is stabbing you in the gut, just as many times as they like"
"I've had a lot of trouble acquiring medication for my period pain. Before I got my Implanon [a plastic rod containing hormonal contraception inserted into the arm] I was just on the pill, and each month I'd load up on the maximum dose of non-prescription pain killers I could get my hands on. No GP wanted to prescribe me anything effective - one GP even told me it was 'all part of being a woman'. It made it very hard to love my body and celebrate my sacred lady moon times when it felt like my body was attacking itself"
"I started taking the pill as I generally get my period anywhere between 20 days and 3 months apart, and it's also incredibly painful. I then stopped taking it about a year later because I forgot to take it when I went away, and I decided it was an unecessary expense. The doctor did NOT tell me that my periods would be fucked from taking it; 9 months later and I still hadn't gotten one. Not even spotting, just menstrual cramps - YAY. I asked about it and got told that I might have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and would have to come in the next week for a blood test. I spent a week freaking out that I would never have kids and that my life was fucked, only to be told no, I didn't have it, and it was just the after effects of the pill. I was told to come back in a year if I still hadn't gotten my period. I did eventually get it, but I'm still annoyed that I wasn't told how long the pill's effects can last"
"I got my period before some of my friends' older sisters, so I have had 9 years with it and far from hating it I freakout if I miss it, even though I'm on the Pill and not sexually active. It might be anoying but it's part of me and will allow me, if I so choose, to have a child. I know not everyone will have that opertunity so I refuse to be annoyed or ashamed by something like that. I happily proclaim when I have it and walk around with tampons in shopping centres and have them in obvious pockets in my bag where people often see them. I don't see shame in it or the need to hide"
"I've had a lot of trouble acquiring medication for my period pain. Before I got my Implanon [a plastic rod containing hormonal contraception inserted into the arm] I was just on the pill, and each month I'd load up on the maximum dose of non-prescription pain killers I could get my hands on. No GP wanted to prescribe me anything effective - one GP even told me it was 'all part of being a woman'. It made it very hard to love my body and celebrate my sacred lady moon times when it felt like my body was attacking itself"
"I started taking the pill as I generally get my period anywhere between 20 days and 3 months apart, and it's also incredibly painful. I then stopped taking it about a year later because I forgot to take it when I went away, and I decided it was an unecessary expense. The doctor did NOT tell me that my periods would be fucked from taking it; 9 months later and I still hadn't gotten one. Not even spotting, just menstrual cramps - YAY. I asked about it and got told that I might have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and would have to come in the next week for a blood test. I spent a week freaking out that I would never have kids and that my life was fucked, only to be told no, I didn't have it, and it was just the after effects of the pill. I was told to come back in a year if I still hadn't gotten my period. I did eventually get it, but I'm still annoyed that I wasn't told how long the pill's effects can last"
"I got my period before some of my friends' older sisters, so I have had 9 years with it and far from hating it I freakout if I miss it, even though I'm on the Pill and not sexually active. It might be anoying but it's part of me and will allow me, if I so choose, to have a child. I know not everyone will have that opertunity so I refuse to be annoyed or ashamed by something like that. I happily proclaim when I have it and walk around with tampons in shopping centres and have them in obvious pockets in my bag where people often see them. I don't see shame in it or the need to hide"
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
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