"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Yeah...sorry about the enormous time gap.

I feel so bad that I haven't posted for so long, and when I finally did post if was something that probably didn't make sense to a lot of you. Especially seeing that now I have more readers than I ever dreamed possible.

The truth is, I've had nothing interesting to talk about that I can actually talk about on the big bad world of THE INTERNET. Because everything interesting is, firstly, too personal to talk about, and two, probably isn't interesting to anyone except me.

Also, I get a lot of complaints that I complain too much (I love the irony in that), that I bitch too much, that I'm too emo, and that I prefer to curl up in a ball and wallow in misery instead of actually trying to change my circumstances.

I would really like to set the record straight.

The only reasons why I complain so much on my blog is, firstly, I'm not allowed to complain anywhere else. If I complain at home I'm whinging and being petty. If I complain at school I'm disrespectful and insolent and then they threaten me with the usual: detention, disembowellment, decapitation...

And everyone needs an outlet. I'm sorry.

And for all those people who say I'm a bitch: seriously, you say that like it's a bad thing. I really have no problem being a bitch - or, at least, I don't have a problem being called a bitch. Because, after all, a bitch is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees is part of nature, and nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment.

As for being too emo - well, I hate to be Little Johnny Raincloud here, but life isn't perfect, and neither is society. Everyone cracks under pressure. Besides, as emo as this sounds, the best pieces of writing I've seen are all on the negative - like lousy restaurants that get really bad reviews, or tragic romances. Writing is just good when it's negative - you can get really inventive with the adjectives. Or the curses and swearing. Either way.

And another video for you guys - an old vlog from my good friend (okay, I don't know her at all, I just love her videos) Natalie Tran, aka communitychannel. This particular video is called I like, I like, I like.

Oh, and just so you know, this video is quite old. The Victorian Bushfire Tragedy is over, well, at least, the fires are. The cleanup is still continuing.

Because We Listen to Older Generations...

...Homosexuality is a taboo and illegal in many parts of the world.

...Male chauvinism is spiralling crazily out of control and women are suffering the consequences of male dominance.

...There is still rascist prejudice against Blacks and Asians.

...People kill in the name of Gods that we all know don't really exist.

...People, cults and religions dictate our lives.

...Women are not allowed to go topfree when men are.

...It is legal to put an animal to sleep to release it from it's pain, but it's not legal to do so to a human being.

All these...rules, all these social norms and taboos, are passed down through generations when we are taught what is 'right'. Who cares if someone is black, or homosexual, or a woman? Why do people still kill in the name of God? If I were God I wouldn't be very impressed. Why are human rights still incredibly basic, yet still ignored, and the rights of women are going down the drain in many parts of the world?

Older generations are polluting the minds of free thinking youths, just as their elders polluted their minds when they were open and opinionated and young. I don't care how badly you were treated when you were young. I don't care how you think we have it so good. Society should be about making the world a better place for every man, woman and child, not deliberately degrading basic human, women and children's rights simply because your rights were ignored in the past and you want payback. How can the older generations get revenge by attacking innocent children? If you make our lives hell, is that justice in your eyes?

Monday, October 26, 2009

sorry i haven't updated in a while....

Okay, I have no clue who The Lion is, but welcome aboard anyway. Which reminds me:

About that 'Alone in the Crowd' post, let me please assure you that I do not just assume I will get into Oxford. Quite the contrary, I am actually not too sure about my chances of getting at all. But, stay optimistic, as always. I wrote that post in the heat of the moment and I didn't really look over it to see if it would sound...not to show-offy. I always have to do that - it's very annoying. I don't know if it's because I'm very tactless or you guys are just very touchy, or both.

But I must apologise for not posting for a while - unless you count that Cinderella clip, and I know most of you don't - but I simply couldn't think of anything to blog about that wouldn't bore to death - that's assuming that everything I write doesn't bore you to death in the first place. Also, it's been unbelievably busy at school, and I've been in The Mood - and whenever I write when I'm in The Mood people automatically think I'm depressed - which is not a very good assumption or reputation to have.

More later when I can think of something to write.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.

No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, a dream that you wish will come true.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Importance of Homework (is Non-Existant)

Homework is another classic lose-lose situation.

Imagine you're a student - unless you are still one - again. Can you imagine, coming back from a hectic day full of stupid teachers and retarded detentions and yawn-worthy classes, all set for some nice Zen relaxation time...

Only to be greeted with a pile of overdue or due-in-the-next-six-seconds homework. Really lovely.

There is no point doing homework - teachers who give out homework don't know how to teach and just want us to do all of the learning by ourselves, or else are inhumane bastards who like watching us suffer. We don't mind a project every now and then, or recomendations on topics to study and websites to check out, but pages and pages of repetitive math sums and we-should-have-covered-this-in-class-but-we-didn't worksheets are just unfair. We go to school to study, not to waste six hours and do all the learning at home when we should be recovering and preparing ourselves for another day of school. Homework leads to sleep deprivation, stress, premature aging, depression, and a general negativity about school.

The ironic thing is, the more homework a teacher gives out the more he or she has to mark, and therefore the more grumpy he or she gets. They also complain and whinge and moan a hell of a lot more than the teachers who go easy on homework. So not only are students complaining and whinging and moaning about homework, so are the teachers. I mean, it's their fault in the first place - why give us such a crippling amount of homework. If it's a challenge just marking it you try *doing* it when you're young and restless. See what I mean? Classic lose-lose situation.

I know all you old folks are saying: Pah! so lazy. In our day, we had so much more homework than you young fellas. We wouldn't dream about complaining. Homework is just part of school.

But don't get all 'In our day' on me. The thing is, we're not 'in your day'. We're in MY day. in OUR day. Homework is an uncivilized, outdated, torturous and useless practice.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Poetry at it's Greatest.

You have to watch it from beginning to end. Watch it all the way. Okay?

So, to all those old farts that think we're just anorexic (or obese) little kids who sit around all day eating chips and watching TV, you're so. Fucking. Wrong.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Keeping Things to Yourself.

I really don't understand people who keep so much bottled up, and then blame me for not knowing and not apologizing when necessary. But seriously, I can't read minds.

I'm known for being very outspoken, and I sometimes garbage and complain a little bit, but I think it's healthy. That's why I created this blog, and Splinters in My Heart, for an outlet. Keeping things bottled up leads to depression and all of that shit. Do you want that? I didn't think so.

I mean, sometimes I accidentally offend people - partly culture clash and partly personality clash - and people don't bloody tell me what's wrong, and then get angry when I don't apologise. But I'm not wired like everyone else, and things that offend them really don't bother me, so I'm not exactly the best judge of whether or not something I say is offensive or not. People think I try to dodge apologies, but I don't. I just don't know. Seriously.

If you're one of the many people I've somehow accidentally offended, I'm sorry. But I would really appreciate it if you would tell me what was wrong, instead of giving me hell about it and telling the entire cosmos I'm a bitch (most of you have done that, and I know) and finding out what bothered you by one of your cranky, defensive friends. It's not exactly the best way to resolve a problem.

And I'm sorry if I garbage on a lot about my personal problems. I really do sympathise with whoever's on the unfortunate receiving end. It's just the only way I know how to heal myself.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Greed does get you somewhere.

I know all adults and teachers (two seperate species. One is annoying because they feel obligated to and the other is paid to be annoying) want us to be sweet, innocent children with fair looks and kind hearts, ignorant and innocent to greed, pride and envy.

But the thing is, in this world you need more than fair looks and a kind heart. You need determination, perseverance and spirit, all three of which are varying amounts of greed, pride and envy put together.

Without greed there is no will. We must be greedy for knowledge, we must be greedy to take what is there to be taken. Some people try and make it sound nice and say that we're 'eager' or 'thirsty' for knowledge, but it's all the same thing.

Without pride then you have no drive to do things, and nothing that can get injured so badly that it inspires you to rise above the possible, rise above the impossible, even. And without pride, you get no reward for your efforts.

Envy is also vital to push you forward - sometimes too much satisfaction can kill dreams. Envy gives you reason, gives you motive, gives you spirit.

I know schools can't teach that, so I'm telling you now.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I don't have a problem with men, because I know that we really don't have much say whether we're born X or Y. That's all up to fate.

I don't have a problem with masculists. I really don't. I'm a feminist, they're masculists, because I'm a woman and they're men. That's that. I live in Australia - we have to accept everyone.

The people who bother me the most are male chauvinists.

These are a bunch of idiots who are convinced that women cannot do anything, cannot understand anything, and cannot be anything.I mean, I know some people do degrade men a little, but these idiots are no better. I mean, I'm a feminist, but I respect that sometimes men are degraded a little by women, by other men, and by the law. I don't actively support the cause because I can't exactly empathize the situation, but I don't go - urgh! That's biased! That's sexist!

Because I know it's not.

If you're a male chauvinist, then I only have one thing to say to you: Fuck you. I hope when you die, you go to hell. And then come back as a woman.

Then you'll understand.

things adults tell us that don't make any sense.

1. Never give up.

The only thing worse than losing a battle is fighting a losing battle. It's a lose-lose situation. Not only are you an idiot for losing, you're an idiot for fighting in the first place. The whole fight or die situation is such a male oriented way of thinking - there are so many ways around that.

I believe that if it is a fight between two intelligent parties, no-one truly wins or truly loses. The loser always comes back and bites the winner on the bum. So, sometimes it is smart to accept defeat and seek revenge later. Which leads me to number two on my list:

2. Never seek revenge.

What kind of stupid advice is that? I'm atheist, non-religious, agnostic - whatever, I don't believe in God, or karma. I believe if you want revenge, you have to get revenge. And wanting revenge is normal, natural and healthy, no matter what they tell you. If someone's wronged you, then it's well within your rights to fight back in a way that they can't retaliate against.

3. Never lie.

If anyone tells you that, look them straight in the eyes and ask them if they've ever lied. If they say no, then they're lying. Simple as that.

4. Both sexes are equal now.

The treatment of the two sexes is not equal, and never will be. One, because there will always be sexist attitudes, and two, because it's simply not possible. We can't make men have babies or women have male ego problems, and that's that.

5. Your parents know what's best for you.

Trust me. No-one knows what's best for you, not even you. You are the only person who knows what you want, or at least what you think you want. That's all you'll ever get. No-one knows what's best for you, except you. If you don't know what's best for you, then tough.

Dodgy Advertising

One thing that always fascinated me is how manufacturors (or however the hell you spell that. Who the hell thought up such a stupid name?) use colours and language to give the illusion that their super-expensive flashy product is so much better than the cheaper, simpler-packaged product next to it.

And it's also always suprised me how people think they can get away with dodgy advertising.

For example, Neutrogena released a new skincare line called Rapid Clear or something like that, complete with a flashy advert featuring Vanessa Hudgens and the whole tacky 'do you wanna know my secret?' tagline. The whole idea is that these miracle products could produce visible results in eight hours, or you get your money back.

Obviously they started losing money real fast - I tried it, twenty four hours later and nothing happened - so they dropped the money back bit.

Then they dropped the eight hours bit.

I'm sorry, but isn't that a little bit obvious? They could have done that with a little more tact and subtlety, but obviously that's beyond salespeople these days. And, come to think of it, why would anyone bother making a miracle cure to acne? Because if they did launch a line that was so fast and so effective, then they'd be out of business. I mean, they invented the longest-lasting lightbulb ages ago and it's still glowing, but they haven't released it or it'll turn the lightbulb market upside-down. Apparently they invented the green car ages ago as well, but instead of releasing it and saving the environment, they decided to keep the cash flow going steady instead.

I don't know, it's almost like they're willing to see the end of the world, providing they die rich.

Monday, October 12, 2009

No comments...

...Okay, I know I blocked the use of Anonymous comments. But seriously, it's annoying! Can't you guys be a bit more adventurous?

Apparently not, because I've had no comments ever since I banned Anonymous. Lovely.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't be put off by the fact that you can't post comments as 'Anonymous' anymore. Actually, if you're smart, you can...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Written by a guy

There's this stupid email floating around called 'written by a guy' - it's all this soppy stuff about how girls look good without makeup in their pjs. Seriously, guys who think that watch too many chick flicks. We all don't wake up looking like Rachel McAdams, and the sooner guys get that fantasy out of their head the better. I always delete that email.

Because, I'm sorry, but I've never met a guy who would write anything like that, and so I don't really consider it a very accurate representation of the male population. I mean, all the guys I've known hate my guts and break my heart, or at the very best, like all my friends and gush about them endlessly whilst I have to listen. Very gentlemanly.

People say I have a very harsh and unforgiving view of men, and I probably do. But I don't make unreasonable judgements - my view has been influenced by all those bastards that I've met, and the noticeable absence of guys who might actually be a credit to their sex. So don't blame me, blame the friggin place where I live. Or blame men, if they're all like that. Because I really don't know.

All I want is one single guy to change my mind. Someone who can show me that somebody, somewhere, cares.

Friday, October 09, 2009

My Sassy Girl

I really recommend you watch either one of the two movies called My Sassy Girl, because I am really a lot like the 'Sassy Girl', except for the fact I haven't yet met the guy that puts up with my wackiness and loves me for it. And, think about this: I'm wacky without the help of tequila or soju.

If you're particularly daring and want some true authentic Korean flavour, try watching Yeopgijeogin geunyeo, which is the name of the Korean movie I fell in love with - My Sassy Girl. Or, if you're not so daring, you can try the American version, which is also called My Sassy Girl. It's lost all it's Korean charm, but hey, that's the American charm of it.

I can see many parallels between the Sassy Girl and me - I was once in love with a guy I thought was perfect for me, and then he left, and I was down in the dumps. But I haven't had the luxury of having another guy heal me - I had to do that myself. But I still believe that, one day, I'll meet my own Gyun-Woo, my own Charlie Bellow.

Until then, I have a life to live.

Thursday, October 08, 2009


No more anonymous's!


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Learned Response

One reason why I really hate modern-day society is that we are so restrained, not by laws so much, but by social taboos, and countless unspoken 'rules'. And the general unacceptance of anything deviating from normal and perfect.

And it's all a learned response, really. We do not really fear and hate gays, women, lesbians, blacks, etc., we are just learned to automatically have a certain response to them, to fit in. Maybe we don't really like chocolate or lollies or chips, but we learn from young to go wacko over them.

It is human nature to fear and dislike rejection, humiliation and exclusion, but seriously, sometimes we drive ourselves to the extremes. I've seen too many people throw their lives away to keep other people happy, to keep the world happy, but the cold truth is, people are never happy. The world is never happy. Whatever you give them, they always want more. The more you give the more they want, and the less they'll give back. However hard you try they always say that you don't try hard enough, however hard you fall they always expect you to pick yourself up.

Personally, I'm really sick of trying to live for other people. You only have one life to play with what you've got, so I'm just going for it. You never know when your world will come crashing down on you, you never know when you're going to kiss this wretched society goodbye. So just go for it. We have nothing to lose.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Blog problems.

Frequent Complaints:

I can't read the text on the black!

Blame your computer, not the black. Click view, and then text size, and make it bigger. If I can read it, so can you.

Your blog layout sucks!

'Your' is the operative word here. My blog. Enough said.

Your posts are too feminist!

So what are you doing here?

I can't watch the videos!

Most of my videos are YouTube based, so that's your computers problem. Oh, and the vid of my friends dancing is not embed anymore. So that doesn't work.

Any more complaints?

Things to Do if I Don't Post for a While.

As funny as it seems, I do have a life outside of my blog. So, if I haven't blogged for a very very very very long time, it's because I'm a normal human being.

Some other things you can do if you're so bored you want to read my blog but I havent posted anything new:

1. Go on Youtube - my favourites are communitychannel and nigahiga, or any Twilight parody.
2. Watch Queen Seon Duk - type 'viikii queen seon duk' into your search engine and you should come up with it. There are, so far, thirty-eight episodes, so have fun!
3. Do something - get your butt off the chair and do something productive. Like shower.
4. Make your own blog - and ask me to follow it. If it's good I will.
5. OFFICIALLY follow my blog - I'll make a deal - I'll post a vlog when I get fifty official followers.

Have fun!

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Millipedes and Jellyfish

People have this idealized glory that Australian beaches are THE HOTNESS.

Some of them. Not all of them.

For one, the one near my house hasn't got soft smooth sand at all, instead the grains are kind of sharpened to kill. And jellyfish infested.


I hate jellyfish. And they get washed up onto the beach and all the hotness evaporates. Imagine stepping on one. Bleurgh.

Which means walking barefoot is out of the picture, so you can't walk around and feel the soft powdery deadly sharpness sand between your toes.

What a disappointment.

So you get bored of the beach and walk back up.

You can't do that barefooted either, because half the beach is a dog beach, which also means it's a dog-shit beach. Beware of landmines.

And if that wasn't bad enough, there are millipedes everywhere! Some as long as, oh, I don't know, just long. Very long. Black and creepy and wiggly and....


Which is why I don't understand why people come all the way here for our beaches. Seriously, I don't.

Friday, October 02, 2009


The only readers I hate are

1. BSC, and
2. People who keep signing themselves as 'Anonymous'.

Now I think I have two 'anonymous''s and one Caramel. Lovely.

I forgot what to blog about...

I had a really good idea.

Really. Good. Idea.

And now I've forgotten it.

Okay, I'll blog about something else.

I was talking to a friend on msn last night, and we were talking about all those celebrity interviews of those supposedly hot, hunky guys.

Well, I used to wanna be a translator at an airport when I was little - no idea why - but I always had a slight problem - I was really good at English, but I knew absolutely no other language, unless you counted IM and swearing.

But then I realized: I know how to translate celebspeak! Male celebspeak, anyway.

Don't believe me? Check this out:

Interviewer: Hey, so, how are you?
Celeb: I'm good, thank you.
TRANSLATION: I've spent the whole night partying, I just got dumped by an anorexic chick and I *really* don't want to be here. And I hate your fake nose.

Interviewer: So, what are you working on now?
Celeb: Oh, it's this movie called [insert movie name here] which is a really interesting experience, you know.
TRANSLATION: I have no idea what it's about and the female lead is ugly as hell.

Interviewer: And what is it like, playing [insert character name here]?
Celeb: It's really fascinating, you know, he's such a deep, complex character. It's not like anything I've done before.
TRANSLATION: What am I supposed to say? That he's got a really boring role and his dress sense is worse than a buffalo's? Of course I'm gonna say he's deep and complex.

And then, the golden question.

Interviewer: So, what do you look for in a girl?


What is the most beautiful thing about a woman?
What makes a woman most attractive?
In three words, who is Your Perfect Gal?

Same thing.

And the answer:

Oh, her personality, her aura, and her inner beauty.

Stop right there.

Inner beauty? INNER BEAUTY??? Do guys even know what inner beauty is?

Because, you know that most of them would answer, if they could 'big boobs, blonde hair and an nonexistant waistline' but they can't say that. They can't say that the criterion involves being hairfree from the hairline down, no brains and a rich family. They're celebrities. So it's inner beauty all the way.

The next time any guy so much 'breathes' the words 'inner beauty', I'm gonna scream.

Walking Away

I'm Cinderella without a shoe,
The prince doesn't know what he's got to lose;
I just got to walk away,
Because I can't stay and watch my heart break;

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Briefest Facebook Stint Ever...

I was on Facebook.

For about six seconds. So, suck, you missed me, too slow.

I thought it would be a good idea - you know, a bit more personal than a blog, and some place where I didn't have to do all the talking. But then I figured out that:

First, if I have a Facebook account, people will know my name. I don't want random people on the internet knowing my name, because my blog has things that some people may not like reading.

Second, there are too many flipping people to add if I go on Facebook.

Third, if I go on Facebook, BSC is going to annoy the shit out of me. As it is, he sends me emails like 'J****n V*******e wants to add you as a friend!' and I'm like 'F*ck off...'

Fourth, I really like doing all the talking.

Fifth, I have no pictures to load.

Sixth, I don't really understand all the fuss over Facebook. First it was msn, then it was MySpace, then it was Twitter, and now it's Facebook. I've told people before, but I don't really have enough time to keep up with that shit. Blogger is really easy to use - you click 'New Post', garbage on about random stuff, and then click 'Publish Post'. Even that is a little tricky for me (just joking).

Seventh, I pride myself in not giving in to trends and pressures. And sooner or later Facebook will be the Nerdiest Thing Eva and they'll all be laughing at me, as though they'd never been on Facebook, only I have.

Eighth (this is a long list. I'm aiming for ten. Million.), I don't want people ogling at my ugly face. I have better things about me then my face.

Ninth, I waste enough time on the internet. Seriously.

Tenth, my Facebook account would be the most boring in the history of the world.

And there are the ten reasons why I'm not on Facebook.