I forgot what to blog about...

I had a really good idea.

Really. Good. Idea.

And now I've forgotten it.

Okay, I'll blog about something else.

I was talking to a friend on msn last night, and we were talking about all those celebrity interviews of those supposedly hot, hunky guys.

Well, I used to wanna be a translator at an airport when I was little - no idea why - but I always had a slight problem - I was really good at English, but I knew absolutely no other language, unless you counted IM and swearing.

But then I realized: I know how to translate celebspeak! Male celebspeak, anyway.

Don't believe me? Check this out:

Interviewer: Hey, so, how are you?
Celeb: I'm good, thank you.
TRANSLATION: I've spent the whole night partying, I just got dumped by an anorexic chick and I *really* don't want to be here. And I hate your fake nose.

Interviewer: So, what are you working on now?
Celeb: Oh, it's this movie called [insert movie name here] which is a really interesting experience, you know.
TRANSLATION: I have no idea what it's about and the female lead is ugly as hell.

Interviewer: And what is it like, playing [insert character name here]?
Celeb: It's really fascinating, you know, he's such a deep, complex character. It's not like anything I've done before.
TRANSLATION: What am I supposed to say? That he's got a really boring role and his dress sense is worse than a buffalo's? Of course I'm gonna say he's deep and complex.

And then, the golden question.

Interviewer: So, what do you look for in a girl?

Variations:

What is the most beautiful thing about a woman?
What makes a woman most attractive?
In three words, who is Your Perfect Gal?

Same thing.

And the answer:

Oh, her personality, her aura, and her inner beauty.

Stop right there.

Inner beauty? INNER BEAUTY??? Do guys even know what inner beauty is?

Because, you know that most of them would answer, if they could 'big boobs, blonde hair and an nonexistant waistline' but they can't say that. They can't say that the criterion involves being hairfree from the hairline down, no brains and a rich family. They're celebrities. So it's inner beauty all the way.

The next time any guy so much 'breathes' the words 'inner beauty', I'm gonna scream.