"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Monday, May 31, 2010

Eurovision and LADY RENEGADE WENT PARASAILING

Mood: examed out.
Listening to: 'Fairytale' by Alexander Rybak
Hungry for: ???
Bella says: 'i have just stolen mummy's new fluffy green bathrobe...mwaruffruffruff).

Eurovision wasn't so brilliant this year. There was nothing, you know, KAPOW about it. It was okay.

I still prefer Alexander Rybak's legendary performance of 'Fairytale'. It just hits the spot, you know? Like, there's no psycho costume or gate crasher (did anyone see the gate crasher into Spain's performance this year), just good, old fashioned folk music and dancing. And his violin playing encompasses all I believe in when it comes to good violin playing - lots of soul, lots of flair, and absolutely rubbish technique (my violin teacher might have cheerfully killed him). Oh, and not to mention he's really tall, super cute and his accent is AMAZING.

Anyway. Lady Renegade went parasailing on the weekend.

I may not look like it, but I actually have penchant for extreme sports. I love skiing, which is unfortunate because here in Australia we don't really get a whole lot of snow, and when I went to hospital I completely exhausted myself on the ski simulator the first day I got out of bed (not the best idea, when you've just had major heart surgery). But I've found my new love: parasailing.

Basically, you get put onto a boat with a whole lot of other nervous people, with a harness and a lifejacket on. This harness is different, however, because it has an additional flap that is wide enough to sit on, like the seat of a strap swing. The boat zooms out of the port and into an open patch of sea, and then they let the paraschute fly, and wait till it's flying nice and straight. Then you strip your shoes and socks off, climb onto the back of the boat, which is just a ramp sloping down towards the water (this is whilst the boat is still at full-speed, and the dude clips you on to the paraschute, then they release the rope for about 100 metres, and then you're in the air! It's amazing. Lots of fun. There's no skill involved, you just enjoy the view and piss your pants in fright. Sometimes they slow the boat down so that you drop towards the water and get a bit wet, which is lots of fun.

My sister and I flew tandem, which meant that she was in the normal clip position and I was in front of her. Have you ever had someone's knees bash into your backside every three seconds for ten minutes? We were like all nervous and freezing and chatty, it was so funny.

I can now say that I have flown like a bird, across the sky. I felt so free, 100 metres above Fremantle. There's no feeling like soaring in the air, the danger of falling, the thrill of flying.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

privacy notice.

I have just deleted all comment posts I could find that featured my real name and the names of other people in a negative light.

For privacy reasons (and so my school doesn't burn me alive), please do not post any real names, especially my name, any surnames, or any names in a context that could be seen as negative or offensive.

All comments that do contain improper uses of real names will be deleted.

Thanks,
Lady Renegade.

Friday, May 28, 2010

That Kind of Girl

Mood: invisible
Listening to: 'Forever and Always' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for: milk
Bella says: 'heehee warm fuzzy blanket..'

I never thought I'd meet this kind of girl.

She's a girl straight from those movies. Regina George, off the silver screen and in the Drama Theatre at school.

If you go to my school, you should have a pretty good idea who I'm talking about.

She's a fascinating specimen - a kind of solid, horrifying yet strangely fascinating proof that those movies we watch when lamenting bad boyfriends and gorging on cookie-dough icecream really are based on some small truth. The kind of girl who struts around like she owns the place, has her own little minions carefully structured in a precise yet fragile hierachy, saying whatever she likes to whoever she likes. The Queen Bee, or, as we like to put it, The Bitch.

Do you know what pisses those kinds of girls off the most? When nerds get what they want. The lead drama role, the attention of that single hot dude - anything. Everything is hers, and anything nerds get is not theirs to take - it's all her property.

These girls used to dominate my life. I used to want to be her, or one of her minions. They used to trample all over me, my life, and my pride. But now I just find her really funny. It's amazing how she thinks the outside world really cares about who's dated who and who's friends with who. It's really hilarious watching her fume in her pathetic way.

I guess you should feel sorry for her. But to be honest, I don't really thing she deserves my pity.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Winter

Mood: cold
Listening to: 'Promise' from Yi San
Hungry for: warmth
Bella says: 'c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cold'

Winter has crept into Perth a few weeks too early.

It's bitterly cold. To Australian standards, anyway.

What's the best thing about winter? Nice, hot food. Piping hot baths (if you add herbs and salt you can have boiled Lady Renegade for supper). Not having to religiously shave legs. Smokey, dramatic makeup. Thick fluffy sweaters. Endless hours spent in the library whilst it's pouring buckets outside.

The worst thing about winter? Those days that mock you. Despite popular belief, I am actually quite tolerant of cold - providing that there is some visual signs of cold, like gloomy clouds or raging storms or bucketfuls of pelting rain. I can endure below freezing provided that there's at least a light dusting of snow.

But I can't stand those days when the sun glares at you, the sky is cloudless and a deep blue, and it's F**KING FREEZING. They're the most horrible days. You stand in the sun and pray for it to warm you, but it doesn't, it just blinds you. I really, truly, hate those days.

There are other bad things about winter as well. Sundresses stare at you sadly whilst you dig for your jeans. Getting out of bed at six in the morning feels as natural as waking up at midnight and realizing you're naked in an igloo in the middle of a snowstorm somewhere in the Arctic Circle. Sometimes your fingers get so cold you just want to amputate them. Swearing at your sandwiches hoping that they'll somehow buckle under the pressure and turn into a proper meal. Walking past the canteen and SMELLING THE HOT FOOD....and then realizing you're too poor to afford paying like a squillion dollars for a centimetre square of lasagne.

But we are weird creatures, you know. Brunettes crave blonde hair, blondes crave brown hair. Men wish to be women and women wish to be men. When it's winter we want it to be summer, when it's summer we want it to be winter. When we've got nothing to do we're 'bored' but when we've got stuff to do we're 'stressed'. When we fail a test we're sad, when we pass a test we wish that we had done better. We're never happy with ourselves, or each other, or the world.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Recognition

Mood: meh
Listening to: 'Prommise' from Yi San (ADDICTED)
Hungry for: meh
Bella says: 'bah skye's stolen my blankie againn....oh well i'll just steal grandaddy's chair then'

People live for many things. Some live for love, some for hate. Some live for revenge, for money, for glory, for fame. I live for recognition.

In primary school, my achievements were always overlooked. They did not want to make the other children feel bad, they said. It wasn't fair that I got awards when other children just watched. But did they ever think about how that made me feel? The disappointment after hours upon hours of hard work come to nothing? My primary school was truly utalitarian - they were willing to sacrifice the happiness of one lonely little girl for those who were freely recognised for their sporting talents.

I don't mind that I never get paid for anything. I don't mind when people ask me to go out of my way to do things. But I expect to gain something from that. Some say that I love the attention, but the truth is, I simply love being recognised. When I work towards something, I don't want to work towards nothing - even just a smile or a thanks makes anything worth doing. All I ever wanted was some respect, some acknowledgement, for what I could do. I have learned not to be a sour grape and I now I always acknowledge the achievements of others, so why can't they just be happy for me?

In high school, everything has changed. Everything is a competition - it makes us work harder. And I love it. There is nothing like the sting of losing to really get you going. And there is nothing like having your name printed on the newsletters, on the noticeboards, on the concert programmes. There is nothing quite like having your name called out and taking a bow.

With every competition, there are always winners. I believe that winners not only win the competition, but have the right to win respect and rewards for their efforts. To fear losing is weak, and to protect children from losing is foolish - especially at the cost of another child's happiness. Children need to learn how to lose, and how it feels to lose badly. It's a harsh world out there, and it's irresponsible not to prepare children for the ups and downs of life. I believe that children these days are too cushioned from reality. They're never told what they're good at, and what they're bad at. They have no sense of direction at all in life. They have no grasp of reality, of the possible and the improbable. They have no goals, they have no respect for their own talents and the talents of others, they have no dreams, they die with unfulfilled destinies. You cannot blame these directionless children for their lack of drive - I blame the adults around them, the people who knew better but did not educate them about life ahead for the sake of preventing a few childhood tears.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

auStralia has nO respect for the acadeMic EliTe.

my school has become less of an academIc institution and MorE of a holding facility. it iS as If we are dangerous, as if we pose a Threat to society, and that we are being held together For thE good of thE community. that's what it feels Like.

of courSe, there are people in the schooL that try to make It a productive place. people who try to maKe thE world in a better place, and our lives happy and fulfilling. buT a Handful of dEdicated teachers cannot fight a nation.

it is in australian culture to value...other things, over academic merit. and i respect that. but this is getting out of hand. it is getting to the point Where exceptiOnal talents, valuable assets to society, are being shunned, ignoRed, abused and maLtreateD on all levels In all aSpects, simply becAuse of who we are, and what we are Good At.

I staNd my ground. i'll make it as an academic, even though SporTsMen will bE respected and funded Better than me. i'll make it as a stUdenT, even though the government Is more interested in building a new sports stadium than improving the education system. i Will not belIeve the bLank LieS being Told to us, i will not give in to the brAinwashing the government is giving australian YouthS. i will not believe a word of iT.

if you live outside of austRalia, hear me nOw. australia is a woNderful place to live. it has clean air, Good food, and fair laws. but don't expect any respect for any intelligence.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Yi San

Mood: korean
Listening to: 'Promise' by...oh, forgot the name again...
Hungry for:...
Bella says: 'TUMMY RUB!!!! NOT TAI CHI!!!'

As you may or may not know, I am half Korean. And I am utterly addicted to Korean dramas.

But I'm fussy with my Korean dramas. My favourites are historical ones. I've watched Dae Jang Geum, which chronicles the life of the first female royal physician, Seon Deok Yeo Wang, which chronicles the life of the first female sovereign of Korea, and Yi San, which chronicles the life of King Jeonjo's relationship with his favourite concubine, Lady Ui.

Yi San is the most interesting of them all, I think.

Yi San is mostly fictionalized, but based on hard facts. Yi San is the birth name of King Jeongjo, a Korean king remembered for his sympathy for the common man, despite his comfortable upbringing. Lady Ui did exist, and was Jeongjo's favourite concubine, and his only concubine to be of low-born status.

The main story is that Prince Yi San meets Sung Song Yeon, the orphaned daughter of a skilled court artist, and her friend, junior eunich Park Dae Su as he tries to rescue his father, Crown Prince Sado, from being wrongfully executed by his grandfather, King Yeongjo, after being framed for crimes he did not commit. In the end, Sado is not saved in time, although Yi San manages to show his grandfather evidence of the Crown Prince's innocence. Song Yeon, at that time a junior palace made, is kicked out of the palace with Dae Su, and Dae Su's uncle, who raised the two children, is forced to flee the capital. However, Dae Su and Song Yeon promise Yi San that they will return. Yi San, when he grows up, marries Lady Hyoui as his principle wife, who is a model noblewoman and wife in every aspect except that she is infertile. Because of this, his mother, the Dowager Princess, brings in several concubines once he is crowned.

Several years later, as young adults, Dae Su's uncle re-enters the capital again, and Song Yeon becomes a Female Assistant at the Royal Art Bureau, but, as a woman, she is limited to lowly tasks such as preparing ink, mixing paint and washing brushes. Dae Su, after spending a short time as a thief, joins the imperial army.

Seon Yong and Dae Su slowly raise through the ranks, and Seon Yong eventually becomes an artist in her own right and Dae Su becomes an Officer. King Yeongjo tracks down Seon Yong and thanks her for being a 'friend of a boy who lost his father because of me', and gives her his most treasured posession - a pair of jade rings given to him by his mother, Concubine Choi. King Yeongjo then dies, and Yi San is crowned.

During this time, Yi San finds out that Seon Yong and Dae Su have re-entered the palace and rekindles his friendship with them. Yi San starts to fall in love with Seon Yong despite many attempts by his mother to interfere with the relationship as she fears that Song Yeon's lowly status will disrupt the Royal Women's Court, and that any heir Song Yeon bears will not be recognised.

Song Yeon is repeatedly harassed and threatened by the Dowager Princess and is forced twice to leave the capital, nearly dying when she is sent to China as an artist, but later kicked out of China when the two countries have a dispute. The second time Song Yeon leaves to live with her long-lost brother, who is a supporter of the Catholic cause, but the king tracks her down and asks her to live with him.

Yi San, sorry, Jeongjo, goes to great lengths to ensure that Song Yeon marries him and is respected as his concubine, even pretending to sleep with her after he brings her back from her brother's house to sway his stubborn mother. Eventually, she begrudgingly allows the wedding to take place, but does not recognise it nor give Song Yeon her title and rank, so she is simply known as 'Lady Sung'. As she is not recognised by the matriach of the Royal Women's Court, Song Yeon is looked down on and is not allowed to call her new mother in law 'Mother', as is custom for all of the king's wives. The Dowager Princess also brings in a new concubine, and insults Song Yeon by favouring this concubine and promoting her to first-class concubine status, when she should be under Song Yeon. This continues until Song Yeon falls pregnant, and is finally acknowledged, and gets her title as third-rank concubine and is finally acknowledged by the Dowager Princess. Thus, she is known from this point as 'Concubine Sung'. The new concubine also falls pregnant, and they give birth on the same day. The new concubine, who was initially cordial, if not a little condescending towards Song Yeon, begins to be openly hostile when she gives birth to a princess, but Song Yeon produces a healthy baby boy.

Song Yeon continues to live in the palace and raises her son, but she fears that her low status will not allow her son to be named as the Crown Prince. The king eventually does proclaim his as Crown Prince anyway, to the shock of his court, but he silences them by showing them Yeongjo's ring that Song Yeon still had in her posession. Song Yeon is promoted further, becoming his most important wife under Queen Hyoui, and becomes known as 'Royal Noble Consort Ui'. (all these titles were very important. I know they don't mean much to you guys, but it's a very complicated and rigid system, and, seriously, everybody has a different 'rank' and 'title'. It's even colour-coded.) Song Yeon's son dies shortly after of measles, devastating the Royal Family, however, Song Yeon stops herself from ending her life as she is pregnant with her second child.

Song Yeon later self-diagnoses herself with liver cancer and asks Dae Su (have you forgotten him?) to smuggle a private physician from outside the castle to come see her, who confirms her liver cancer and says that it is in it's advanced and possibly incurable stages. She refused to see any of the court physicians or tell the king, as she knows they will try and force her to take toxic medicines that would kill her baby. She attempts to leave the palace, telling the king she could not stay in the castle at the present after the death of her son, but Dae Su tells the king and she is sent back, halfway through her journey. The king desperately tries to make Song Yeon take medicines, but she refuses, and as she succumbs to her illness he desperately searches for a cure, even sending Dae Su to China to get Western physicians. Just as the physicians are entering the capital, however, Song Yeon dies in the king's arms. He lives on and has another son, and then dies, followed shortly by Queen Hyoui. The series then ends, in episode 77, showing Dae Su serving the new king, Sunjo, and visiting the graves of the king, queen, and Song Yeon, asking if 'they had met in heaven yet'.

The most fascinating part of the drama, for me, is the relationships in the Royal Court, and how they differ drastically from modern Western relationships. The King, despite being the most powerful man in the country, is still under, to a certain extent, his mother, and he is obligated by the Confucianist society to obey her wishes, although he is not technically obligated by the law. The Confucian respect for parents disregard and 'legal ages' that we observe nowadays.

Another interesting character is Queen Hyoui, King Jeongjo's principle wife and the Head of the Royal Women's Court. She also is obligated to obey her mother in law, but she is also part of a complicated polygamous marriage. Especially as she is unable to produce an heir to the throne, Quen Hyoui is completely at the mercy of her husband, who could choose to execute or exile her in favour of a fertile woman. But, infertile or not, all Korean queens of the Joseon era had to accept the various consorts and concubines brought into the palace - a king could have twenty or more wives. Queen Hyoui is initially resentful of Song Yeon, as she realizes that Song Yeon is the king's true love, but she is the first to accept her and they become close friends.

Another thing that is so fascinating is the different social statuses of all the people involved in the King's marriages - The King, his mother, the Dowager Princess, Queen Hyoui, Concubine Yoon and Royal Noble Consort Ui - in real life there are more, but in the drama it is just simplified to that. At that point in time, there were at least six different ways of speaking, and they all have to speak differently to each other, which make personal relationships quite difficult, especially between the king and Seon Yong, as they are quite literally languages apart.

Put it this way. In those days, there were at least six different ways of saying 'father', depending who you are, who your father is, and in what context you are saying it in. If you are the king, for example, and referring to yourself as the father of your child, you would refer to yourself as 'ah-bi'. If you were lower-class people, you would call your father 'ah-bah', and then next up is 'ah-bo-ji', then 'ah-bo-nim', and then, if your father is the king 'ah-ba-ma-ma' (Your Lordship My Father'. Same with mother - 'ah-mi', 'oh-ma', 'ah-mo-ni', 'ah-mo-nim' and 'oh-ma-ma-ma' (this sounds ridiculous when you say it fast).

I dunno. I just find all this stuff fascinating.

before you blame.

before you blame someone, thInK about what you're blaming them for.

iNdividuality is nOt a crime.

fear is perhaps the most destructive force on earth. fear of the unknown leads to disasterous consequences. rather than learning about someone, getting to knoW someone, they are abandoned at first sight. there is no explaination for this cruelty, other than the unspoken lesson that is being soWn into tHe minds of yOuth for centuries - fear of the unknown.

humankind has constantlY fOught for liberty and freedom whilst simUltaneously striving for the 'sAfety of the pack'. democRacy has not hElped this. the almost-global policY of 'majOrity rUles' has further propelled xenophobia.

despite all the government propoganda here, in australia, the community is getting increasingly intolerant of different individuals. and now it is not so much based on sex or race, but on how you behave, what you believe in, the things you do. it does not matter Whether what you do Is better or worse than what the others do. it does not matter whether what you do is right or wrong. it is the fact that you are different.

when you ask someone what sorts of people they disLike (the word 'fear' concocts a different idea in the minds of the general pubLic than it's tRuE meaninG), they will almost inevitably state the soRts of pEople They are not - people wHo have different beliefs, religiOns, habits, lifestyles, etc. the moment someone disagrees With them, theY autOmatically assUme, not tHat one is right and one is wrong, but one is *normal*, the other abnormal, alien. discriminating laws and policies have given way to even more powerful social taboos and cUltuRal norms.

i'm fighTing to My last brEath, though.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Shallow

I just want to know,
Why are you so shallow?
What's so important about whether your skin is white, black or yellow?
But no,
Skin must be white pretending to be brown,
It's not cool to smile,
It's not cool to frown,
I just can't be what you want me to be,
Why can't you see,
You're different to me?

I just want to know,
Why do you think I am shallow?
I dream of universities,
You dream of size zeros,
But in the end you'll see,
Who's the loser and who's the hero.

I just want to know,
Why is this world so shallow?
Black or white,
Man or woman,
What does it matter?
Since when does money and fame beat love and success?
I just can't live in a world
That's so insecure,
I loved you once,
Now I'm not so sure.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Book Review: The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas.

Mood: ??
Listening to: 'How Will I Know?' by Keke Palmer
Hungry for: love
Bella says: 'c-c-c-c-c-c-coldddd'

I quite literally just finished this book five minutes ago.

What can I say? It sucks you in and won't spit you out until about three in the morning. The Holocaust as seen from the innocent son of a Nazi officer. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?

Okay, so Bruno's ignorance gets very annoying after a while, but at it's heart it's a very good book. Brilliant movie, too.

And, just in case you've read the book but haven't watched the movie, or vice versa, here is a little comparison:

THE MOVIE: DIFFERENCES FROM THE NOVEL:
  • Bruno's father is not as harsh as in the novel. In the movie he is portrayed as a little distant, but kindly, and confused as his dedication to the Nazi regime conflicts with his morals.
  • There is no mention of Bruno's mother having an affair with Lieutenant Koftler or whatever the hell his name is.
  • Bruno's head is not shaved when he enters the camp, so he is very recognisable in the gas chamber.
  • The 'dead dolls' scene is not featured in the novel.
  • The family's move to 'Out-With', as it is referred to in the novel, affects Bruno's mother much more than it does in the novel.
  • The 'Fury' (Hitler) does not feature directly in the movie, but at the Grandmother's funeral a wreath of flowers with the words 'von den Fuhrer' (from the Chairman) is placed on top of the coffin.

Book Review: The Time Traveller's Wife

Mood: tired
Listening to: 'Affirmation' by Savage Garden
Hungry for:...
Bella says: 'Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....it's cold...'

More book reviews!

I've just finished The Time Traveller's Wife, which I've wanted to read for like FOREVER, and it's utterly brilliant. It proves that you don't need immortality or vampires to make a love story interesting.

But you might need a time traveller.

The book explores the life of Clare Abshire, who is married to Chicago librarian Henry DeTamble, who has a genetic defect that causes him to uncontrollably time travel. It looks at the complexities and difficulties their relationship faces due to his constant disappearances, and their struggles to conceive a child.

It's an amazingly romantic book, but not sickly sick or gooey - it's more homey, more simple, much more like waht a real relationship would be like. It's based on The Odyssey, a little, in that Clare compares herself to Penelope waiting for Odysseus to return. At the core of every great love is a great love story, so at the core of every great love story is a great love.

Henry DeTamble is a very unusual sort of man in that he's moody, poetic, bookish...not the classic hero, but a very loveable character nonetheless.

WARNING: this book is not for children. The language is unrelentlessly...rude. But a very, very, very good book.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Book Review: Jane Eyre

Mood: high
Listening to: 'Hips Don't Lie' by Shakira ft. Wyclef Jean
Hungry for: nuthin'
Bella says: 'TUMMY SCRATCH!!!!!'

Okay, so I finished Jane Eyre ages ago, and it's now one of my favourite books.

Jane Eyre is perhaps the most famous of all the Bronte classics, written by Charlotte Bronte under her androgynous pen name Currer Bell. Jane Eyre is a very well written novel, very tightly written, and reads like an autobiography.

The story's heroine and narrator, Jane Eyre, captures the very essence of a virtuous woman, but her character makes her distinct from other literary heroines in that she is an independant, educated woman, and has the strength to turn away from love when it threatens her religion. Jane is deeply religious and her moral beliefs are infallible, but she is also compassionate, kind and has the ability to love passionately, in sharp contrast with Mr Brocklehurst, the clergyman who ran her orphanage, Lowood School, who abused and maltreated his pupils in the name of religion, and St John Rivers, her cousin, who, whilst passionate, is cold and lacks the ability to love her or the willingness to love his true love. Jane Eyre is not beautiful, nor is she commonly portrayed by particularly beautiful actresses, purely because her character is beautiful enough to shine through any physical plainness. Despite the fact that St John is the missionary, Jane Eyre's character is alluded to as some kind of angel, reforming and converting Mr Rochester, who is to sin as Jane is to purity, and his ward, Adele, the bastard daughter of a French courtesan. But, despite being seeped in Christian morals, it's doesn't have an overbearing effect on non-Christians, as the focus is more on moralities rather than the religion itself.

Mr Rochester is a very welcome break from Edward Cullen in that his flaws are somwhat graver and more interesting than obsessive-compulsive stalking and watching prospective girlfriends sleep. A worldly yet deeply unhappy man trapped in a hopeless marriage, Mr Rochester's life is tainted with sin and tangled with misery, and shows how Jane leads him towards and then away from sin.

It's a very good book if you have troubles with the classics, and the perfect starting point into the beautiful Bronte novels. Let Thornfield possess you.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Your Skirt's Too Short

Mood: feminist.
Listening to: 'Anything But Ordinary' by Avril Lavigne
Hungry for: food.
Bella says: 'Sorry I peed in the corridor, mummy!'

So I've found this great book by Australian novellist and columnist Emily Maguire - Your Skirt's Too Short. It discusses the ridiculous expectations of women, and, to a lesser extent, of men, and how they contradict each other. It also discusses, in a perfect world, how the sexual expectations of men and women will be the same, if not non-existant.

It's something I've argued with for a long time. A man who sleeps around is 'manly' - a woman who sleeps around is a 'slut'. Why is that?

Okay, so I don't sleep around. I'm underaged, for starters, and I'm a sworn virgin until marriage - not because of some hokey religion, but because I want to. Why? Not because I'm afraid of being a slut. Simply because to me, sex has more meaning and besides, I have big dreams - a baby at sixteen is not one of them.

But I still think it's my right, once I'm over sixteen, to have my own private life and not be labelled - labelled as a slut, because I am a woman. If I were a man, I don't think people give a shit. This is the sad fact of life, but it's something we can change.

When we see a teenager pregnant, or with a small child, we often think, how irresponsible. And yes, she is, most definately. But we often push aside the fact that there is another person involved, but because he can just walk away from the situation, or even ask her to kill her own baby, we often forget about him. Women are forced to carry the evidence of their life's mistakes with them - men, more often or not, can just wipe their hands clean. Which is not fair.

I'm not saying that all women should rush out and sleep with the first man they see. I still think modern society is oversexed, but it seems that only women find themselves in hot water. We have to learn not to judge each other by our personal decisions.

I hope, one day, we will reach that point.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Just a few...random...notes...

Mood: biebered? is that a word?
Listening to: 'Never Let You Go' by Justin Bieber
Hungry for: dinner
Bella says: 'Hey mummy! I snapped a millipede in half today!' (me: uh...that's...great....bells...')

Okay, so welcome back Morgapedia, if you just came back...if you've been here all along, then, well, hello anyway...sorry, a bit random. I can only tell where people are signing in from, not exactly who they are, so, COMMENTS ARE REALLY COOL PEOPLE.

Another thing. I just realized that the picture of Paul Wesley I posted makes him look really, really, fat. (There's this thing about buff guys and tucked in shirts and ties...it makes all of them look unbelievably tubby.) In my defense, it looked fine at first glance - all the other pictures he's doing this weird head-jut thing so his head looks totally out or proportion to the rest of his body. Sigh. Hot people don't always have hot poses.

So, being the dutiful blogmistress that I am, I have provided some better eye candy:




He does appear topless in episode 10, but I couldn't find any good pictures of that. Anyway, feast your eyes ladies.

Another thing I wanted to do was a product review on some new products from The Body Shop I bought about a week ago. I bought the night cream, day lotion, foaming cleanser, blemish gel and mask from The Reformulated Tea Tree Range, and I think it's great. The products have a beautiful powder-matte finish that lasts ALL DAY, works great under makeup, and has really helped my acne, acne scars and uneven skintone. This only works for people with, like, super oily skin, because the products are quite drying, although you do get used to that. But I totally, totally recommend it for people with oily, blemished skin because it's natural and effective...and it's body shop!

BTW, I've found some great music for y'all. As you may or may not know, YouTube has been the place where many popstars, including Justin Bieber, have been found, but not all of them have been as successful as my favourite J.B., which is a shame because some of them are really talented. My favourites are Esmee Denters, who is Justin Timberlake's protege (check out her new single 'Love Dealer', totally cool), and Savannah Outen and her single, 'If You Only Knew' (which is basically what I sing to pictures of Paul Wesley and Justin Bieber like, all the time). Other songs that have been on my playlist is 'Somebody To Love', by Leighton Meester and Robin Thicke, and 'Stranger', by Hilary Duff. So yeah, lots of cool stuff.

And another thing: Taylor Swift has made it to TIME magazine's Most Influential People of 2010! So exciting. Robert Pattinson was on there as the prime target of twilightmania, but I don't understand why J.Biebz didn't make it, with bieberfever and bieber nation and all those crazy beliebers out there.

That's all from your best friend, Lady Renegade.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

When Words Fail

When words fail,
Hearts break,
When words fail,
It's heartache.

When words fail,
Couples kiss,
When words fail,
It's bliss.

When words fail,
A child cries,
When words fail,
It's all lies.

When words fail,
Children laugh,
When words fail,
You can't get enough.

When words fail,
I smile,
Because when words fail,
I write.