"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Delays on It's a Crazy Dream

Mood: hungry
Listening to: 'The Guardian' by Delta Goodrem
Hungry for: steak...

Sorry that I haven't been updating my new blog, It's A Crazy Dream - I've nearly finished Pride and Prejudice and I have like forty other chapters to blog about! I will update soon.

Don't forget to check out my new blog, It's A Crazy Dream, to follow me as I read the Telegraph's Top 100 Novels of All Time.

Sunday, December 27, 2009


Mood: hungry
Listening to: 'Running Back' by Jessica Mauboy
Hungry for: fried potatoes (It's a Korean thing, like a sidedish. Not like french fries.)

I've always been interested in advertising - how companies use colours and language to make their product look better - big result and best value. And I think my research has got some results. I may be no expert, but here are my tips on good advertising

1. Avoid those horrible, tacky ads you find on most commercial TV channels - you know the kind of ad I'm talking about? They're popular with exercise equipment, makeup and cleaning product companies, and they're the most annoying ads to ever exist and are a surefire way to piss off customoers. It always has a voiceover boasting over supposed 'special features', and a whole slew of false-American accented 'consumers' raving about the product - and, if it's about exercise equpiment, it'll feature heavily muscled-up bodies and extremely photoshopped transformations of 'flab to fab'. Then they say that it's worth like two million dollars and say that it's available for like a godzillion easy payments of 'Just 19.99!' - adding 'plus postage and handling' in as an afterthought. It's tacky, it's stupid, it's a waste of time, and it tells all potential customers 'My products are cheap and tacky and pathetic and useless and I'm just really really really desperate to sell!'. Don't do it.

2. Invest in a good, professional-looking website - Potential customers now do thorough research on the net for just about anything - from makeup to lawnmowers. So invest in a professional, interesting website loaded with information and free of typos or tacky fonts.

3. Avoid homemade...anything - go professional for TV adverts, newspaper adverts and fliers, and labels. An advert should not look like an eight-year-old designed it on Word, and a TV commercial should not look like it was made in PowerPoint presentation. It's tacky and implies you can't be stuffed doing the job properly.

And that's it, really. Be fun, creative and inventive - and relevant to the modern-day world. Customers will be flocking in.

Don't forget to check out my new blog, It's A Crazy Dream, to follow me as I read the Telegraph's Top 100 Novels of All Time.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

New Blog.

I have set a challenge for myself: to finish the Telegraph's Top 100 Novels of All Time...before high school graduation.

And, of course, to motivate myself, I'm blogging about it.

Welcome to my new blog: It's A Crazy Dream (http://reading100booksinfouryears.blogspot.com/).

5 Lame Excuses That Guys Use (and they actually work! incredible!)

Mood: hungry...
Listening to: 'Breathe' by Taylor Swift and Colbie Callait
Hungry for: noodles...


1. 'He's a growing boy'
2. 'He's just a boy/man. What can you expect?'
3. 'Boys are naturally thick/stupid/insensitive. Don't take it personally.'
4. 'God created man first, and the man is meant to rule the house.'
5. 'I know it's messy, but it's the content that counts.' (as opposed to what teachers say to girls who hand in messy work: 'presentation matters').
6. 'It makes sense for the weaker sex to stay at home'


1. 'She's a growing girl'
2. 'It's her time of the month/she's riding the crimson wave/she doesn't wanna attract the sharks'.
3. 'We know God created men first, so consider us the new, inproved version.
4. 'Girls are naturally dramatic/touchy/sensitive'. Don't take it personally.'
5. 'If we're the weaker sex then *you* should have the babies.'
6. 'You think we sit around and do nothing? Well then, cook your own dinner'.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

10 Things Old Folks Can Learn From The Younger Generations

1. Keeping an open mind

Young people are more open to political, social and religious freedom, as well as passing trends and new ideas. Old people? Not a chance. It's all tradition, tradition, tradition. Which is not *always* a bad thing, but if everyone thought like that, we'd still be stuck in the middle ages.

2. No-one acts like they give a shit because they *genuinely* don't give a shit.

Caring and sharing is a little old-fashioned nowadays, and being so careful about what people think about you and all of that crap is stopping humankind from progressing. People these days seriously *do not* give a shit about anyone other than close friends or family, or the poor. And that's a good thing, I think. I think we mind each other's business too much, and I think it affects us too much. I'm not saying we have to go out of our way to be horrible to each other, but I think we should stop going out of our way to be *nice* to each other, and fussing so much about presenting yourself *properly*.

3. Tradition holds you back.

Although some traditions are important, lots of them are just wastes of time and energy and cause huge social problems. Traditions and religion don't have to disappear entirely, they just have to adapt, as do the people who follow them. Dying for religion was once a heroic thing, but it's just seen as silly now. Don't do it.

4. Stay out of relationships

Old people do not always know best. Face the music - age is not a measurement of wisdom. So what if you got an arranged marriage and it all worked out well? It's probably not going to hold true for your great-grandson, and the more messing you do with his lovelife the more pain and frustration and embarassment you're going to cause - no matter how good your intentions are. So, you're an old folk, stick to old folk business. Let young people do what they do best - being young.

5. 'In my day'...

Stop complaining about all the priveledges that children get these days, and stop trying to make their lives back to the 'hard times'. So what if you had a shit childhood? Don't make ours bad as some kind of sick payback. Humanity is about progressing, not carrying out revenge on the innocent young generations. Let all your tough times be buried in the past and look towards a happy future.

6. 'I'm too old to do this'...

You're never too old to do anything, and you're never old enough to be a useless lump of bones and grey hair and a burden to society. Unless you're strapped onto a hospital bed on life support, get out there and do something productive. Young and old, we all have to pull our weight.

7. Technology.

Don't complain about how technology is making us lazier and more stupid. After all, I'm sure that's what the people said when da Vinci invented all sorts of time-savers, and I'm pretty sure we survived that. I'm pretty sure that's what your parents said when the TV and the radio were invented, but guess what, you survived that too. So we'll survive the iPods. Okay?

8. Be yourself

Be yourself! Relax! Chill! Being prim and proper when you're old and wrinkly isn't going to make you look ladylike, it's gonna make you look grumpy, old, unapproacheable and a bloody pain in the ass. Be friendly, open minded, gracious and fun.

9. That said, don't be too...strange...

There's nothing worse than an embarassing grandma who bounces around all the kids thinking they've got the 411. Old people just have to accept that they're in a different part of society now.

10. Have fun

Life is about living.
Mood: meh
Listening to: 'White Flag' by Dido
Hungry for: food....obviously....

They say that little kids like to stare because they're so fascinated by the world around them.

Little kids also like to give dirty looks.

More specifically, little kids like giving me dirty looks.

Little kids are taught by some unknown force of nature that body hugging clothes, high heels, hair products and makeup are like BAD BAD BAD, and they keep thinking this until they reach about ten years old and they suddenly become GOOD GOOD GOOD. To them, all these 'big girl things' are 'slutty, bad things', and so anyone who stoops low enough to use them are slutty, bad people.

So I was grocery shopping with my mum the other day (the sole reasons why I do this is one, my mum and I are super close, two, my mum reckons I still need to have parental supervision but actually she's the one that you need to keep an eye on and three, I am my mum's walking, talking shopping list. If I didn't go with her when she shopped I doubt there would be anything edible in this house at the moment.) and there were all these little kids, wearing little kid clothes that resemble potato sacks dyed shocking pink, looking at me, in a sundress and strappy heels, as though I had walked into Coles wearing red lingerie or something.

Little kids are so funny. Because one day they'll wear strappy heels and sundresses and makeup, and then they'll wonder why all the little kids are giving them dirty looks.

Monday, December 21, 2009

A Friend.

I had a friend, a friend I really liked.
I had a friend, a friend who I kept giving out chances to.
I had a friend, a friend who lied to me.
I had a friend, a friend who let me down.
I had a friend, but this is the last straw.
He is no longer my friend.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

My Weird Weirdness.

The problem with me is that my behaviour doesn't always reflect my IQ capabilities, which is why I don't really fit in with any of the stereotypical cliques. And because of that, I get the 'one size fits all' label - freak.

The thing is, girls of my IQ generally don't give a shit about what they look like and what other people, particularly boys, think about them. They pretty much only care about how many A's end up on their report card. For me, that's important too, but I like boys and makeup and other girly things normally reserved for the 'normal' percentage of the population. Normal plus nerd for me is perfectly normal, but for them, it's like trying to mix oil and water.

Sometimes I wish I was more nerdy. I wish that every boy I saw didn't become the next Adonis. Sometimes I even miss that 'boy-germs' stage I went through when I was about eight years old. Sometimes I get sick of pretending I don't give a shit...sometimes I wish I *genuinely* don't give a shit.

Relations, Connections...

Mood: hungry
Listening to: 'White Horse' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for: tom yum noodles

The great thing I like about movies and books, and songs, I guess, is that in a good book or movie or song, you can always relate to one element, one character. For example, in He's Just Not That Into You, I am definitely Gigi, and maybe a bit of Conor. Who are you? I hope you're not Ben.

So, leave a movie in the comments, and, if I've watched it and if I remember it, I'll tell you what character I relate with best (Hint: I've watched all the movies I've reviewed here (http://au.rottentomatoes.com/user/578546/reviews/), at Rotten Tomatoes.) And when you watch a movie, don't just watch it for the poofs and bangs. Put yourself in a character's shoes. It's fun.

Looking forward to your comments...

Friday, December 18, 2009


Mood: meh
Listening to: 'The Othello Rap' by the Reduced Shakespeare Company
Hungry for: nothin

Hilarious American company called The Reduced Shakespeare Company. Here are my favourites: Romeo and Juliet and 'The Othello Rap'.

The Othello Rap:

Romeo and Juliet Part One:

Romeo and Juliet Part Two:

Summer Watching List

Mood: stoned...
Listening to: 'I Want You to Want Me' by Save Ferris or whatever the hell it's called
Hungry for: don't know. don't care.

I know, I know, for most of my readers it's dead winter, but it's summer over here, and because I have like zilch social life, I'm gonna get nice and personal with my TV set this summer. And the beach. And the refridgerator. I just scoffed down an entire mango, and because I don't normally condone this weird behaviour, the combination of strange eating and sleeping habits and my tendancy to go on movie-watching sprees when I'm bored and lonely is making me feel slightly under the weather.

So here is my list of movies I'll be watching this summer. Mostly rom-coms.:

He's Just Not That Into You
10 Things I Hate About You
Definitely, Maybe
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Mean Girls
Stick It

...that's all I can think of at the moment.

Things I won't be touching with a ten-foot pole:

Romeo and Juliet
anything gooey and sticky and romantic

because these are just too hard to stomach at the moment.

Your Life is About You.

Mood: heartbroken :(
Listening to: 'Things I'll Never Say' by Avril Lavigne
Hungry for: love...

So it's the end of school. I made it through another stinking year.

Okay, so it wasn't that bad. In some ways, it was pretty good. Very good, actually, better than I hoped. But in some aspects, I'm still at square one. I was a miserable twelve-year-old loser last year with no friends and no boyfriend, and now I'm a miserable thirteen-year-old loser with no friends and no boyfriend. Wow. Huge improvement.

I'm sick of everyone saying that I'm special, because special people aren't betrayed and crushed by best friends. Special people aren't used, and people don't say 'let's just be friends' to special people. That's just that. Special people are fawned over and adored and people fight over special people. My mum doesn't count, so I'm not a special person. There is no such thing as a special loser.

This year, I've gained friends, I've lost pretty much all of them, I've fallen in love and had my heart broken in ways unimaginable. I guess my marks have picked up, but no-one wants to hear about the smart chick with no social life. Most teachers hate me, anyway, it's just that they can't see any way to fail me, so they just have to give me passes and concede with poor grace.

My advice for people going into high school next year? Only go against the norm if you've got guts and you've got balls, because no-one is going to be there for you if you go against the grain. If you haven't got the stomach to spend years alone and lonely, then just stick to the status quo.

High school is not as exciting as things seem, and it's not really a fresh start - ghosts from the past come back to haunt you. And no matter what, you're still the same person, and people still perceive you the same way. You're not going to turn from geek to chic overnight.

But when you think that the whole school has turned against you, when you feel like nothing's right, and everything's wrong, remember that you don't really need high school friends. Sure, they're useful if you want a shoulder to cry on, but eventually you learn to cry on your own shoulder. True high school friends are a lot rarer than you think, and most people are only friends for social status purposes. When you strike it big and they're just check-out chicks and drug-addicted barmaids, they'll try and warm up to you. Trust me. And remember that, no matter how frustrating it is, no matter how lonely and unloved you feel, you don't really need a high school boyfriend. After all, all those high school sweetheart stories that end happily ever after only affect a very small percent of the population. For most of us, you fall in love long before someone actually returns the favour, genuinely and sincerely. And even though friends and boyfriends seem like your whole life now, and the absence of them is the end of the world, it's not. Because your life is about you - and that's the most important lesson I've learned this year. You can't depend on other people to make you feel better, you have to learn to depend on yourself, and to make yourself more trustworthy. So don't worry about what other people think, and don't worry about what people say and what people do to you. Just have faith in yourself.

And here's a message to all those people who think I'm stuck up, self-centered and selfish - here's a newsflash. I blame that all on you. I could never trust any of you, because all you did was let me down and break my heart. So of course my whole life centers on me now. I don't have the time, or the patience, for love to any degree now. I've only just got enough energy to pull myself through school in one piece and hopefully strike it big. I can't afford to let my heart break again.

Because, in the end, my life is about me. I can't blame any failures on any of you so called 'friends', so I'm not going to credit any successes to you either. I've learned the hard way that I'm in this alone, and that any mistakes or triumphs have to be my own making. So you can say that I'm selfish and self-centered and heartless, that's fine. There are no prizes for being the World's Greatest Doormat, the World's Nicest Friend, except to get trodden on. Except for a small handful of very special people outside my family - and they know who they are - all my other friendships are the most unrewarding things I've ever done, and all I do is get hurt in the end. And I'm tired of falling in love over and over again, hoping that 'this time will be different', because it never is. All of my relationships, or failed attempts at a relationship, are just different variations to the same story of pain and heartbreak. So love is no longer high up on my priorities. At least not now. I don't think I can take another slew of sleepless, teary nights.

I've got that small handful of friends that I love and trust, and one day, maybe I'll have a slightly bigger network of friends who are keepers for life. Maybe, one day, I'll meet a guy who won't play with my heart, and maybe, one day, I'll look back and say that all those tears, all that pain, all that heartbreak, was worth it.

Maybe, one day. Until then, I just have to let go and walk away.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

10 Things I Hate About You.

I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way youre always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when youre not around,
And the fact that you didnt call.
But mostly I hate the way I dont hate you,
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all.

- Kat Stradford in Ten Things I Hate About You.

I love this poem. I really, really love this poem.

But the thing is, as good as this movie is, it's still too...cinematic. Not realistic at all. Why? Because about three seconds after the scene when Kat reads this, she makes up with Patrick Verona, the boy she wrote the poem about, the boy who broke her heart. Because Patrick liked her. Because love, as always in movies, is a two way thing, and even if it isn't in scenario one, it always is in scenario two.

Why is love a one way thing? What's so good about those other girls? What's so bad about me?

I hate the line 'lets just be friends'
I hate the line 'I hope our friendship never ends'
I hate it when you date other girls,
I hate it so much it makes my hair curl,
I hate the fact that I mean nothing to you,
I hate the fact you mean so much to me,
I hate it when you expect me to always help you,
I hate it when you're never there for me.

I hate it when you blackmail,
I hate it when you lie,
I hate it when you make me feel guilty,
I hate it when you make me cry.
I hate how much I love you,
I hate how little you love me,
I hate how things turn out the way you want,
Never how I want things to be.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

msn block scare.

Mood: freaked out.
Listening to: 'Who's That Girl' by Hilary Duff
Hungry for: Indian...

I went on one of those 'check who's blocked you on msn' sites just now, just for the fun of it. What else are you supposed to do when you're waiting for nail polish to dry?

And then the email address of one of my closest friends popped up on the list of 'people who have deleted you'.

I almost had a heart attack.

So, don't go on those sites. They give you heart attacks. I went on another one that said that he hadn't deleted me, so, boy with the Apple and Safari, you better not have.

Sorry for the randomness of this post.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Mood: frustrated
Listening to: 'Umbrella' by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z
Hungry for: I don't know. Friendship. Love. Acceptance. Pizza. Anything.

I hate hypocrites.

A lot of people, who have all the tact in the world, often ask me bluntly "Why do you have no friends?".

Because that's what all nice, normal, friendly people do to display nice, normal, friendly behaviour.

I'm not going to waste everybody's time by claiming I'm the most popular girl to walk the planet, because I know that's not true. I'm not even going to waste my time explaining that I do have friends, just not as many as most people do, and that I do love them, a lot. I just want to say that you can't blame me for being unfriendly if you're the one that doesn't return my calls. You can't say that I'm the unsociable one when you ignore me when I say 'hi'. You can't say that I don't try when I try so hard and all you do is push me away.

Because, newflash everybody, but I am a normal person. Before I becamse a rebellious i-don't-care girl, before I became Lady Renegade, all I wanted was love and acceptance. I know Lady Renegade doesn't care about that kind of stuff, but I still do. I still crave it so much it makes me cry.

So don't you dare tell me I'm a cold heartless bitch, because that's exactly what *you* are. You're just a cold, heartless bitch. Do you think I got where I am by choice? What do you think this is, some kind of publicity stunt?

Monday, December 14, 2009


The boy I love has two faces,
One that smiles at me,
One that jeers at others.
The boy I love has two hearts,
One that is here,
One that is gone.

The boy I love has two sides,
One happy,
One eerily dark.
The boy I love has two minds,
One I love,
One they hate.

The boy I love has two faces,
One always eclipses the other for me.
The boy I love has two souls...
One for them, and one for me.

So here I am at school...

Mood: hungry...:(
Listening to: 'I Heart Question Mark' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for: fooooood.....

So here I am, blogging at school. It's the first time I've done this.

There's really nothing interesting to talk about when you're hungry, you're dying to talk to a particular someone, but he's surrounded by a particular group of people who freak me out, in a noisy cafeteria. You can hear every conversation here, but somehow, people think that this is THE PLACE for private chit-chats. Because the truth is, here, you're just one of the many. To him, to her (perhaps especially to him), I am just a student. Just a number. Just some digit in the system.

It's so humid today you can practically smell it - the dampness of unfallen rain and sweaty high-schoolers...and of course, the lingering scent of deodorant that is forever present. You can smell the bleach from the cafeteria and, ever so faintly, the new paint and the smell of fresh paper in the library. You can smell the strange smell that air-cons always seem to have here...even the walls have their own scent. It's fascinating, just sitting here and typing. After all, I don't really pay attention to what my hands are doing. I just look, and somehow I translate that into words.

Faces loom, some familiar, some not, and I hear random words out of the general buzz. I can't hear the voice I want to hear, but that's okay. It's not really an addiction, it's an indulgence that I don't get as much as I like.

It seems strange, blogging here in the open. I normally blog at home, on my private computer, so my unrefined thoughts are personal, private, before they are published to the world. But in a way, it's more secure here, because no-one cares what anyone is doing o the computer. In fact, it would be slightly creepy if people did care. I mean, my computer screen is being watched by security, but in this day and age you forget that 'security' means that some random stranger that you don't even know is barging into your personal space. It just means reality.

I don't care if people don't like my thoughts. I don't even care if I don't like my thoughts. Because my thoughts are mine, it's just that people read some of them here. It's not my fault if they don't agree.

So I'm not afraid.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

I'm Yours

Mood: excited!
Listening to: 'I'm Yours' by Jason Mraz
Hungry for: pizza...


Friday, December 11, 2009


Mood: tempestuous ;)
Listening to: 'Your Anything' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for:...water? juice?

Okay, I've changed my blog name again, in honour of one of my new favourite movies, 10 Things I Hate About You. So, in a way, this is also a tribute to the great Heath Ledger, who has a starring role in this remake of William Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew.

The word 'tempestuous' comes from a scene when the 'shrew', Kat Stradford (Julia Stiles) is at a very unproductive counselling session with the school's guidance counsellor, who is more interested in writing disgusting imagery for her erotic novel than the mental welfare of the students. The counsellor says that she's getting a reputation, and Kat asks whether it's for being 'tempestuous'. The guidance counsellor replies that 'heinous bitch' is the more common term for her behaviour.

Either way. Kat is cool, and she got Patrick Verona.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I always lose it.

I always lose it. I always blow it. I always push them too far.

I'm sorry.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009


Listening to: Breathe by Taylor Swift

I think forgiveness is something that is just expected, these days. It's like sure, I mucked up, whatever, can you just forgive me already?

I don't forgive that easily - well, I didn't. I used to say that I 'hardly ever forgive, and never forget'...and that was true, once. And it used to be so easy to hold grudges, to never forgive, to let them beg and grovel and still remain as cold as ice. I used to be good at that.

But now, it's not so easy to hold my head high. I'm not softening, I'm weakening. Buckling under pressure, the subtle emotional blackmail of love.

I used to think it's so easy to hate, and so difficult to love.

Now it's so easy to love, and so difficult to hate.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

My Life Would Suck Without You

Mood: happy...at last.
Listening to: My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
Hungry for: not hungry for the first time in six months...

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Those Three Days

This post is dedicated to Those Three Days.

I used to look back at those three days with tears,
But now I look back with a small, sad smile;
I look back at the kind of bliss and contentment you gave me,
The kind of happiness I've never known.
I don't think about how it ended anymore,
I just think about my little piece of heaven.
Those three days...
I wish there were more.
It was a prologue...
Without a book to follow.
A title without a song.


Our Song, Taylor Swift
Love Story, Taylor Swift
Your Anything, Taylor Swift
Where Did I Go Right?, Hilary Duff
Let it Rain, JoJo
You Belong With Me, Taylor Swift

The Ten Things All Guys Should Know About Girls.

Mood: crazy :P
Listening to: Crazy Chick by Charlotte Church
Hungry for: luv...:D

I've always found it so funny that all my guyfriends know so little about girls - and this ignorance is always a recipe for disaster.

So here is the lowdown. The ten things you seriously need to know about girls.

1. Girls like to talk. A lot. Most of the time we try to remember our audience, but occaisionally we'll wander off into less familiar topics to the male mind, such as makeup, shopping and feelings. Despite the fact you may not get a word of this, it's important to listen if you don't want to get dumped.\

2. Girls are deep, meaningful creatures who like deep, meaningful things. Boys, to us, are a bit shallow when it comes to this, so try and break the stereotype here.

3. Just because a girl uses makeup doesn't mean she's high maintenance - it just means she's a girl. Most boys I know tell me that they don't like a girl who wears makeup, but they don't like an ugly girl either - and in this day and age when expectations on women are ridiculously high, you can't have it both ways. Even your most goddess-like au naturel girl probably wears concealer every now and again.

4. Girls are taught a lot of things about how to attract guys, and the sad thing is we listen to all of it - although we're not really good at following directions printed in magazines. So if a girl is all warm and chatty one minute and then a cool ice queen the next, it's because we're trying really hard and epically failing. I know it's confusing, but, live with it.

5. If a girl is having a hard time sometimes all she wants to do is moan - boys like solutions, girls just like sympathy. That's just that.

6. We're not hairfree and airbrushed all the time. We're not born supermodels.

7. Girls do eat, and fart, and smell when they forget their deodorant. But, believe me, boys eat more, fart more and stink more.

8. Breakups are done in person, privately, and sensitively. Just because you've gotten bored with her doesn't mean she feels the same way. Texting, ridiculing in public, over the phone or on IM is simply not an option. It's like murdering someone over the internet. Have the balls to do it in person.

9. Dragging a girl to the footy (unless she's really into that kind of stuff) is like a man being dragged into a shopping mall and being forced to watch her pore over clothes and shoes and bags and makeup. These things are best done with mates of the same sex.

10. Girls love, and girls need love.

Friday, December 04, 2009

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Mood:moody :(
Listening to: 'I'm Only Me When I'm With You' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for: anything...

To the person I always dedicate songs to:

Friday night beneath the stars,
In a field behind your yard;
You and I are painting pictures in the sky.

And sometimes we don't say a thing,
Just listen to the crickets sing;
Everything I need is right here by my side.

And I know everything about you,
I don't wanna live without you...

I'm only up when you're not down,
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground;
It's like, no matter what I do...
Well you drive me crazy half the time,
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true...
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

Just a small town boy and girl,
Living in the crazy world;
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true.
And I don't try to hide me tears,
My secrets or my deepest fears;
Through it all nobody gets me like you do.

And you know everything about me,
You say that you can't live without me...

I'm only up when you're not down,
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground,
It's like, no matter what I do...
Well you drive me crazy half the time,
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true...
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

When I'm with anybody else,
It's so hard to be myself...
Only you can tell...

That I'm only up when you're not down,
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground;
It's like, no matter what I do...
Well you drive me crazy half the time,
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true...
And I'm only me...
Who I wanna be...
Well I'm only me when I'm with you.
With you.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009


One of my favourite songs - Mistake by Stephanie MacIntosh.

Rushin' way too fast,
Why do I always do this?
Thinkin' this might last,
How could I be so stupid?
But this time,
I'm not okay, no
I need to breathe again.

'Cause I don't want to...

I don't want to make another mistake like you,
And I don't want to hate,
But love doesn't get me through.
'Cause I can be alone again,
No, I don't want to make another mistake...like you.

Stone cold and hurt inside,
Not how I wanted to be.
I don't sleep,
It's kinda hard when you cry;
Yeah, that's where you left me.
But this time,
I'm not alright, no
I need to find someone...

'Cause I don't want to...

I don't want to make another mistake like you,
And I don't want to hate,
But love doesn't get me through.
And I can be alone again,
No, I don't want to make another mistake like you.

Don't wanna be caught in the moment that never comes;
Is it too much to ask that real love could find me?
I won't get stung
I'll find the one...

But I don't want to make another mistake like you,
And I don't want to hate,
But love doesn't get me through.
'Cause I can be alone again,
No, I don't want to make another mistake...
I don't want to make another mistake like you,
And I don't want to hate,
But love doesn't get me through.
'Cause I can be alone again,
No, I don't want to make another mistake...

yeah, communitychannel and i think on the same wavelengths...

Mood: hungry
Listening to: "Mistake" by Stephanie McIntosh
Hungry for: dinner!

This is what I mean about the 'msn thing' (or the IM thing if you're American):


Another thing that is touched on in that vid that also bugs me to no end is when teachers say that I'm not living up to potential. Because, the things is, I have four kinds of teachers: the teachers who teach subjects that I try really hard at and give me nice comments in my report, the teachers who teach subjects I don't try hard at but give me nice comments because they're retarded and don't know I could do 200% better, the teachers who teach subjects that I try really hard at but give me lousy comments and give my parents the whole 'Lady Renegade is not reaching her potential' crap, and, the rarities, the teachers who teach subjects that I don't try really hard at, and therefore are well within their rights to moan about my test results.

Oh, and if you're a teacher that reads this, then YOU DON'T FIT INTO THE LAST CATEGORY. Don't flatter yourself.

I mean, I know most teachers don't know what they're talking about when they say all that potential garbage. I've had teachers who have said that I am working brilliantly when in fact I do all the homework at about three in the morning, guessing half of it and copying the rest, and I've had other teachers who just can't accept I'm not good at pi and the periodic table. For most teachers, when they say that, it's just a bluff. They just want to show the world that they know what they're talking about when they don't, and they want to show the world that I'm a lazy fat-arse Asian. Of course, that is exactly what I am, but only I am allowed to say that.

I'm sorry I haven't been posting super regularly, and I know my posts haven't been super interesting either. But a couple of things have been annoying me lately, like...

my eyeshadow that seems to wear off every six seconds.

my lipgloss that isn't behaving. I squeeze it for half an hour and nothing comes out, and then when I'm just about to give up and give it one last pinch and then half the tube comes gushing out.

and other stupid things, like how my hair sticks to my lips when I've just glossed them, so I end up with deglossified lips and sticky hair, and how foundation peels off no matter *what* you do...

sigh. the trials or being a girl.

Or it could just be the trials of being Lady Renegade...