I had to leave.
I don't know if it was fear or courage;
But it was not my choice to make
You don't know.
You don't know the little girl I left at home
Each time I got in your car
She doesn't have time for you, and me.
She gave up on her white knight a long time ago;
She has no energy for destiny.
I had to go, for her.
Because she never leaves, and they always did
When I am alone, she is with me, and I have to carry her
I owe it to her.
I owe it to her red brick, brown thistle childhood
When words clawed at her flesh like thorns
When they tried to break her
And she refused them all.
She taught me that all you have is whatever you make
And you are a monster of my own creation
You are the love of my dreams and you haunt my nights
And I am sorry I made you.
I should have left you to the heat.
And when you killed me, she clung to life
You snapped me in half, but she survived
You are the deafening silence
You are the hooded figure in the shadows
Perhaps you do not exist.
They always took great delight in tormenting me
You are not the worst;
You will not be the last.
But still, I bleed.
When I lost you, they wouldn't let me cry
And when you killed me, they wouldn't let me die.