I don't know how people do it.
I'm watching a TV drama on the net called Queen Seon Duk of Silla, who is, if my calculations are correct, a distant ancestor (that is IF my calculations are correct). Her destiny is to reclaim her position as princess and seize the throne (it's a long story that I can't be bothered explaining right now).
Her very first comrade is her army superior, and they fall in love. She's pretty, he's hot, so, instant fairytale!
But she leaves him behind! "Love might weaken my resolve" she tells him, and they're both all teary eyed (but still pretty and hot). "You remind me of the normal life part of heart truly wants" and then they say all this soppy stuff that I will not repeat for fear of causing all of my readers irreversably permanent nausea. It's heartbreaking and sad and, well, wrong.
All I have ever wanted for a very long time is to be loved - and those two in the series, Deokman and Yushin, were so perfect for each other. Yushin was completely crazy over her. If someone was as crazy over me like Yushin was over Deokman, then there is no way in hell I would give that up.
For all the blessings I have, I don't have the ability to be loved, in that way, at least. Love outside family - the kind of love you get not because you're someone's daughter, or sister, or niece, but because they truly love you for what you are, willingly and unconditionally. You don't know what it's like not to have something unless you don't have it, and believe me, to not have love when everyone else seems to really hurts. If I had the chance to be in love like that, I'd cling on to it and never let go.
For however strong I am, for however fearless I am, I could never give up on love.
But, at the moment, I have no love to give up.
5 comments:
Agreed. I'm in essentially the same situation.
And Seon Duk is one of my heroes. I read a book about her when I was in like 6th grade, and I remember thinking that she was really cool. She fought her family and societal restraints to claim her throne and pursue her passion(astronomy). When she was queen, she was an amazing diplomat. And she prophesied stuff on occasion.
And you're not the only one who's supposedly descended from someone who had an impact on history. My dad says that we're descended from Erik the Red.
I'm watching that right now.
C.S
Just lettiong you know, not everything in that is true. No, almost everything in it is untrue. Most of the character are made up as well.
C.S
I know. But it's a good series anyway.
Yeah, my uncle's not letting my cousins watch that because of that reason. His argument is that they'll remember the history wrong when they grow up. Who needs history anyway?
C.S
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