As a performer, I must admit audiences are highly annoying.
There is always a screaming baby. What is the damn point of bringing a baby?
There is always a dad with a really noisy camera and a really tall tripod.
There is always a mum that waves her arms like a windmill and calls 'HEIIII HUNNYBUNS I'M HERE!!!!' to a poor unfortunate child on stage.
There are always whining five year olds waging world war three in row J.
There is always an old folk preaching an 'in my day...' speech to another old folk.
There is always a parent that goes, during my item (Chamber Strings): 'Is this THE Perth Modern School Orchestra?' and there is always a parent that replies 'No, this is the lower one.'
There is always a blonde trophy wife that goes 'Why is an Asian leading the orchestra?'
There is always a misogynistic asshole that goes 'Why is a girl leading the orchestra?'
There is always a family that leaves immediately after their child's item is finished. This family is normally huge and Asian. Talk about giving us a bad name.
There is always a family that arrives just before their child's item is starting.
There is always a person who says 'Isn't the concert dress lovely? (It's not. You try wearing it.
There is always a person who says 'Doesn't that girl at the front look kind of chubby?' (You try looking skinny in the aforesaid concert dresses.)
There is always a person who says 'I don't understand why they're allowed in here' (the refectory during intermission for snacks). You try performing on an empty stumach.
There is always a person who says 'What a pity Perth Modern isn't a music school anymore.' Last time I checked we're still one of the top music schools in the state.
There is always a parent that goes 'Did you see my son? He in fifth grade already lah.'
And the list goes on. That's school concerts for you - and that's just the audience.