I'm going against the flow,
I'm part of another tide now.
I'm not part of your 'wave' anymore,
You never liked it when I was, anyhow.
It's harder against the wind,
But the currents don't always take you to the right destination,
I want to live life now,
Don't want to waste anymore time on procrastination.
I've always gone against the flow,
I've always been part of my own tide,
There's never been any crew to my captain,
I've always run a one-woman show.
I've had so called 'allies' before,
More like pirates,
Always gunned me down.
But I'll follow my own path,
Maybe it'll turn my life around.
Against the tide,
Against the odds,
Dangerous, I know.
But when you've got a life to live
You have to live your life,
No point taking things slow.
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query against the tide. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query against the tide. Sort by date Show all posts
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The World That I Live In
I live in a very strange world. I don't really fit in, but I'm not entirely an outsider.
Here in Australia, we have two rules: Go with the flow and be a silver fish.
Okay, I'd better explain my 'fish' theory before I completely lose you.
My theory is that everyone is a fish. Most people are silver - and people are instinctively attracted to the prettiest, shiniest silver. The unlucky people are muddy grey - the lucky ones are a beautiful shimmering hue.
Me? I'm THE RED FISH.
Life as a red fish is tough. People don't understand you, people hate you, people pretend to love you but when you really need them, they pull the rug out from under your feet and say "Just joking, kiddo". People don't trust you, people don't like you, people don't believe you.
What a life.
Don't get me wrong, I don't drown myself in self-pity, or ask for any sympathy. This is the cold, bone-hard truth.
I am twelve, of Korean-Singaporean descent, outspoken, academic, rebellious and opinionated.
Adults positively adore me.
The fact remains that second-generation immigrants have it worse off. Torn in one direction to your native roots, torn in another to a fast-moving, exciting but unfriendly Western society. Second-generation Asian immigrants?
Most people in my world are unintentionally rascist, especially the adults. Every school play. The leading roles go to...
A white kid.
Student representatives are:
White kids.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not rascist. But I don't think it's fair that white kids get preference.
I am very outspoken - it comes with being the youngest child in the family. I'm afraid of mediocracy, also born out of being the youngest child, and rebellious to boot. I can't stand some people, and most people can't stand me. Born out of going against the tide, I have my own opinions, and not everyone has to like them. I can't please everyone.
Being talented is a double edged sword - on one hand, reading and writing brings me great joy, and it suits my rebellious nature and my quest to please those who please me. On the other hand, I'm sick and tired of people being jealous, being envious, and blaming me for being smart. It's not like I'm good at everything - far from that - and I believe that I should be able to enjoy what I'm good at without all the blame.
So next time you pick on people with strange talents, or feel envious of people who have what you don't, think to yourself...
Is it possible that they might think you have strange talents? Is it possible that they feel envious of you?
Here in Australia, we have two rules: Go with the flow and be a silver fish.
Okay, I'd better explain my 'fish' theory before I completely lose you.
My theory is that everyone is a fish. Most people are silver - and people are instinctively attracted to the prettiest, shiniest silver. The unlucky people are muddy grey - the lucky ones are a beautiful shimmering hue.
Me? I'm THE RED FISH.
Life as a red fish is tough. People don't understand you, people hate you, people pretend to love you but when you really need them, they pull the rug out from under your feet and say "Just joking, kiddo". People don't trust you, people don't like you, people don't believe you.
What a life.
Don't get me wrong, I don't drown myself in self-pity, or ask for any sympathy. This is the cold, bone-hard truth.
I am twelve, of Korean-Singaporean descent, outspoken, academic, rebellious and opinionated.
Adults positively adore me.
The fact remains that second-generation immigrants have it worse off. Torn in one direction to your native roots, torn in another to a fast-moving, exciting but unfriendly Western society. Second-generation Asian immigrants?
Most people in my world are unintentionally rascist, especially the adults. Every school play. The leading roles go to...
A white kid.
Student representatives are:
White kids.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not rascist. But I don't think it's fair that white kids get preference.
I am very outspoken - it comes with being the youngest child in the family. I'm afraid of mediocracy, also born out of being the youngest child, and rebellious to boot. I can't stand some people, and most people can't stand me. Born out of going against the tide, I have my own opinions, and not everyone has to like them. I can't please everyone.
Being talented is a double edged sword - on one hand, reading and writing brings me great joy, and it suits my rebellious nature and my quest to please those who please me. On the other hand, I'm sick and tired of people being jealous, being envious, and blaming me for being smart. It's not like I'm good at everything - far from that - and I believe that I should be able to enjoy what I'm good at without all the blame.
So next time you pick on people with strange talents, or feel envious of people who have what you don't, think to yourself...
Is it possible that they might think you have strange talents? Is it possible that they feel envious of you?
Friday, September 21, 2012
breaking the silence.
Now Playing: Hearts a Mess by Gotye (you have lost too much love to fear, doubt and mistrust)
I firmly believe that behind every silence there is a stigma.
It's not always easy, to talk about gay marriage on the internet. It takes guts to openly admit you're a feminist. It's still hard for me to talk about sexuality and sex positivity and being open and open-minded about safe, consensual, legal sexual acts, even though it's something I really believe in.
But I do it anyway. It's my job, as a human being. Because I believe that behind every silence there is a stigma.
In primary school periods were not talked about. At all. They were simply wiped from existence, and anyone who succumbed was a deviant. And so the myths spread. One of the bubbliest, craziest girls I knew sat very, very quietly through all of recess and lunch because she was told that the blood would spread to other parts of her body if she jumped up and down. People thought you could lose your virginity to a tampon or that only sluts got their periods.
And with these lies come stigma. I was terrified of my period. Whenever it came about I would do anything to avoid being 'caught'. I had hormonal imbalances when I was younger so my periods were long and irregular and heavy and extremely painful, but I couldn't say a word because it was so stigmatized.
Then when I got to high school people suddenly became so much more...open about it. We help each other do the math and share horror stories. We whinge endlessly and relentlessly about it. We steal from each others' pad stashes because, you know, I'm totally disorganized. It wasn't that periods had suddenly lost their evil - people just understood them and, more importantly, understood how normal they are. People only get this epiphany through knowledge, and knowledge is only facilitated by open dialogue. Silence feeds ignorance, and therefore stigma.
You will not go blind and grow fur on your hands if you masturbate. You are not any less of a human being if you are attracted to men, women, both or neither. There is no such thing as too much or too little sexual activity. Virginity doesn't always give you the moral high ground, but it doesn't automatically make you a loser, either. You are not going to rot in hell if your gender identity and your biological sex and your sexual orientation don't match up in the traditional binaries. You are not a freak if you have hormones and nerve endings. And the law and no single person has the right to take away your right to safe, legal and consensual love, sex and marriage.
The root behind most of the stigma associated with gender and sex and sexuality is ignorance. Most of Laci Green's videos aren't justifying particular sexes or sexual orientations or sex acts, just explaining them - there's a helluva lot of myth busting to do. People believe anything anyone says and this ignorance is severely damaging to our fellow human beings. When I tell people I'm a feminist, nine out of ten of them don't really know what that means. When I say I support gay marriage, nine out of ten people don't think I know what I'm talking about when I understand the gay marriage debate better than anyone who tries to whack me over the head with the Bible (which I maintain is not inherently homophobic, only interpreted as such by homophobes).
It's scary, going against the tide. I know a lot of people judge me - believe me, I know. But as hard as it is and as scary as it might be, I can't stop. This is my job. This is my life. I know what it's like to be stigmatized and I don't want anyone to go through that for any reason. Behind every silence there is a stigma. So I'm trying to break that silence with a bang.
I firmly believe that behind every silence there is a stigma.
It's not always easy, to talk about gay marriage on the internet. It takes guts to openly admit you're a feminist. It's still hard for me to talk about sexuality and sex positivity and being open and open-minded about safe, consensual, legal sexual acts, even though it's something I really believe in.
But I do it anyway. It's my job, as a human being. Because I believe that behind every silence there is a stigma.
In primary school periods were not talked about. At all. They were simply wiped from existence, and anyone who succumbed was a deviant. And so the myths spread. One of the bubbliest, craziest girls I knew sat very, very quietly through all of recess and lunch because she was told that the blood would spread to other parts of her body if she jumped up and down. People thought you could lose your virginity to a tampon or that only sluts got their periods.
And with these lies come stigma. I was terrified of my period. Whenever it came about I would do anything to avoid being 'caught'. I had hormonal imbalances when I was younger so my periods were long and irregular and heavy and extremely painful, but I couldn't say a word because it was so stigmatized.
Then when I got to high school people suddenly became so much more...open about it. We help each other do the math and share horror stories. We whinge endlessly and relentlessly about it. We steal from each others' pad stashes because, you know, I'm totally disorganized. It wasn't that periods had suddenly lost their evil - people just understood them and, more importantly, understood how normal they are. People only get this epiphany through knowledge, and knowledge is only facilitated by open dialogue. Silence feeds ignorance, and therefore stigma.
You will not go blind and grow fur on your hands if you masturbate. You are not any less of a human being if you are attracted to men, women, both or neither. There is no such thing as too much or too little sexual activity. Virginity doesn't always give you the moral high ground, but it doesn't automatically make you a loser, either. You are not going to rot in hell if your gender identity and your biological sex and your sexual orientation don't match up in the traditional binaries. You are not a freak if you have hormones and nerve endings. And the law and no single person has the right to take away your right to safe, legal and consensual love, sex and marriage.
The root behind most of the stigma associated with gender and sex and sexuality is ignorance. Most of Laci Green's videos aren't justifying particular sexes or sexual orientations or sex acts, just explaining them - there's a helluva lot of myth busting to do. People believe anything anyone says and this ignorance is severely damaging to our fellow human beings. When I tell people I'm a feminist, nine out of ten of them don't really know what that means. When I say I support gay marriage, nine out of ten people don't think I know what I'm talking about when I understand the gay marriage debate better than anyone who tries to whack me over the head with the Bible (which I maintain is not inherently homophobic, only interpreted as such by homophobes).
It's scary, going against the tide. I know a lot of people judge me - believe me, I know. But as hard as it is and as scary as it might be, I can't stop. This is my job. This is my life. I know what it's like to be stigmatized and I don't want anyone to go through that for any reason. Behind every silence there is a stigma. So I'm trying to break that silence with a bang.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Ignorance is your new best friend.
A song from a couple of years ago from my favourite band, Paramore:
Lyrics:
If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well, I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well, sentence me to another life
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
We're the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
Yeah, we used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
...you see why I like it? It reminds me a bit of my poems 'March of Solitude' and 'Against the Tide'.
Lyrics:
If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well, I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well, sentence me to another life
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
We're the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
Yeah, we used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
...you see why I like it? It reminds me a bit of my poems 'March of Solitude' and 'Against the Tide'.
Sunday, July 07, 2013
Pendulum
A child building a sandcastle by the sea
People do not ask her why she builds a home
That will never have a master
They do not ask her why her house crumbles underfoot
And is swept away by the tide
Leave me be to build my sandcastles
Let me be a child and make pretend
One day I will build a house of stone that will not yield
When a thousand storms break against it
I will build a thousand hearths to keep my love safe and sound
And my love will put a swing in the back yard
And every day watch me swing back and forth and back and forth
Muddy nightgowns slip and slide in the breeze
Flesh, warm and icy, golden and pale in the moonlight
There is a child in me that will never die
And together, my love, we will sway
Passion, my dear, is love and hate
And I am a child of delirious joy and violent rage
I have never learned to like you, my love
I never will.
You and I are not the sort satisfied with synthetic affection
We will always be swinging
Between kisses and blows
Between screams and sighs
All the anger and fuss of lovemaking
In all of our thousand thousand fights
But even when I am old and grey
And the swing has almost stopped swinging
(We will find equilibrium at our deathbed, my love
Only in slumber will quiet give us peace)
You must never forget who I am
I am a child building sandcastles by the sea
Hoping to build a house
For the one who will build me a swing.
People do not ask her why she builds a home
That will never have a master
They do not ask her why her house crumbles underfoot
And is swept away by the tide
Leave me be to build my sandcastles
Let me be a child and make pretend
One day I will build a house of stone that will not yield
When a thousand storms break against it
I will build a thousand hearths to keep my love safe and sound
And my love will put a swing in the back yard
And every day watch me swing back and forth and back and forth
Muddy nightgowns slip and slide in the breeze
Flesh, warm and icy, golden and pale in the moonlight
There is a child in me that will never die
And together, my love, we will sway
Passion, my dear, is love and hate
And I am a child of delirious joy and violent rage
I have never learned to like you, my love
I never will.
You and I are not the sort satisfied with synthetic affection
We will always be swinging
Between kisses and blows
Between screams and sighs
All the anger and fuss of lovemaking
In all of our thousand thousand fights
But even when I am old and grey
And the swing has almost stopped swinging
(We will find equilibrium at our deathbed, my love
Only in slumber will quiet give us peace)
You must never forget who I am
I am a child building sandcastles by the sea
Hoping to build a house
For the one who will build me a swing.
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