"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The World That I Live In

I live in a very strange world. I don't really fit in, but I'm not entirely an outsider.

Here in Australia, we have two rules: Go with the flow and be a silver fish.

Okay, I'd better explain my 'fish' theory before I completely lose you.

My theory is that everyone is a fish. Most people are silver - and people are instinctively attracted to the prettiest, shiniest silver. The unlucky people are muddy grey - the lucky ones are a beautiful shimmering hue.

Me? I'm THE RED FISH.

Life as a red fish is tough. People don't understand you, people hate you, people pretend to love you but when you really need them, they pull the rug out from under your feet and say "Just joking, kiddo". People don't trust you, people don't like you, people don't believe you.

What a life.

Don't get me wrong, I don't drown myself in self-pity, or ask for any sympathy. This is the cold, bone-hard truth.

I am twelve, of Korean-Singaporean descent, outspoken, academic, rebellious and opinionated.

Adults positively adore me.

The fact remains that second-generation immigrants have it worse off. Torn in one direction to your native roots, torn in another to a fast-moving, exciting but unfriendly Western society. Second-generation Asian immigrants?

Most people in my world are unintentionally rascist, especially the adults. Every school play. The leading roles go to...

A white kid.

Student representatives are:

White kids.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not rascist. But I don't think it's fair that white kids get preference.

I am very outspoken - it comes with being the youngest child in the family. I'm afraid of mediocracy, also born out of being the youngest child, and rebellious to boot. I can't stand some people, and most people can't stand me. Born out of going against the tide, I have my own opinions, and not everyone has to like them. I can't please everyone.

Being talented is a double edged sword - on one hand, reading and writing brings me great joy, and it suits my rebellious nature and my quest to please those who please me. On the other hand, I'm sick and tired of people being jealous, being envious, and blaming me for being smart. It's not like I'm good at everything - far from that - and I believe that I should be able to enjoy what I'm good at without all the blame.

So next time you pick on people with strange talents, or feel envious of people who have what you don't, think to yourself...

Is it possible that they might think you have strange talents? Is it possible that they feel envious of you?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm the rainbow fish

Anonymous said...

clever...not to bring the ire on prematurely, but who are you?

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm a trout. WHACK! :D :D :D

It's a Wikipedia joke: see

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Trout

But one thing I must disagree on. The Asian kids do have serious chops when it comes to piano. This Chinese friend of mine just obliterates Rach preludes like you wouldn't imagine.

I'm of Irish-Scotch-Russian descent, but that's a really distant line. I still think I'm a trout, though.

Anonymous said...

There are some communities in Aus where Asians are appreciated and are actually favoured over White kids, but where I live I'm not so lucky

Anonymous said...

As a white immigrant to Australia I must point out that we are also red fish. Our looks might blend in but our culture doesn't. I also tend to think that most people feel like red fish even if to everyone else they look silver ...

Anonymous said...

if you're BSC, keep signing yourself as 'anonymous'.

if you're not, DON'T, because i can only handle one loveable 'anonymous' at a time ;).

so, if this is BSC, here's my message:

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY YOU'RE A RED FISH?

Red fish are unloved. Admired and revered to some extent, but mostly unloved.

AND HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY YOU'RE UNLOVED WHEN YOU'VE HAD THREE GIRLFRIENDS AND ONE OF WHICH IS BETHANY WHO LOVES YOU TO PIECES???

Not to mention half the teachers hitting on you as well.

And are you an immigrant? you were born in pemberton!

So as I said, if you're NOT BSC, ignore the above comment - i am generally very rude to my best guyfriend, because he is to me. And sign yourself as someone else next time, pretty pretty please.

love,
lady renegade

Anonymous said...

Lady Renegade

I am the real BSC, he is not. Because i have read all the CHERUB books(so far), and am currently going out with 'Bonnie Lass'.

M.W is retarded and ...........and.......... I forgot what I was going to say:(

Your a melted Barbie Doll

BSC

Anonymous said...

you're a silly teddy bear.

and you are the only person who has commented on my blog in a while...NO ONE READS MY BLOG (so sad).

well, that's not true. i have a bout five readers.

love you lots,
Lady Renegade

P.S I hope you don't take the 'lots of love' and 'love you lots' and 'love' etc in a soppy way. that's just who I talk to my friends.