"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

School Wars Episode VII: The Ex Strikes Back

I have a lot of guy friends.

BSC is my best guyfriend. We only met this year, but we get along really well. I mean, we have fights - big fights - but that's pretty much normal. He's absolutely HUGE with a bigger personality (and an even bigger ego) and a lot of fun. I give him girl advice and he's, well, not exactly a shoulder to cry on (his shoulder is a bit too high for me to reach) but he's always there for me. He's a gigantic teddy bear that has a constant stream of girlfriends/crushes, but he's not a know-it-all pompous punk. The only people that are taller than him is this Korean guy and our student teacher who is 6'7".

I have other guyfriends as well, but I won't list them all here.

Guys make really good friends. The plus side is that guys aren't bitchy - normal ones aren't, anyway - they're tough, they're understanding, and they can endure a lot of crap without cracking. On the down side, guys can be just a teensy bit insensitive, cannot take a hint for shit and have no sense of sublety.

My guyfriends are different to my girlfriends and even more different to boyfriends. Most of my guyfriends are past crushes and their friends, or my girlfriends' exes or boyfriends, so we're all pretty close. There's nothing romantic between me and my guyfriends, they're more like brothers than dates.

My best guyfriend is BSC - all of my friends are closest to their ex/es.

I, on the other hand, HATE my ex.

My ex is not exactly Hayden Christensen - short, fat, with a MAJOR case of dandruff and ecxma, a computer nerd and a math freak to boot. Now none of these things would really matter if he were really nice and sweet - which he is not.

My ex liked me back in year six, and I reckon he still likes me. I was young, silly, ignorant and desperate for a boyfriend, so I went out with him for like, a week. I mean, you had to feel sorry for the poor guy - I was known for being a little rude and obnoxious, brushing people off without a care sometimes - and it had taken him two weeks to pluck the courage. It wasn't really romantic - no roses or chocolates or valentines - just a 'wilyugoowtwifme' in the computer lab. After a week, I did the classic 'can we just be friends' on him and he seemed to take it pretty good - maybe he was expecting it.

At the beginning, he was an okay friend - it was a little awkward, understandably - but it was okay.

To be fair, I admit that I wasn't exactly the perfect girlfriend, or ex, for that matter - it was pretty much a slave and master relationship. But as I said, I was only eleven - and overconfident, proud and too smart for my own good - and he could have just told me that he didn't like it, if he didn't.

Then he started to get really horrible when year seven started. Now isn't the best time to piss me off - the hormones have kicked in and I am on a crazy emotional rollercoaster - and he was one of the main causes why I would cry, why I am still crying, all the time. It's an adolescent thing.

BSC and all of my girlfriends have been really great, but I always ask...

Is he reproachful that I have a life after our very short relationship?

Is he jealous that I have crushes and admirers after him? (I never had a crush on him, by the way. It was all pretty much one way)

Or does he just irrationally hate me?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You've left me really confused.
I know the ex is R, but what's up with the last few sentences?
-C.S

Anonymous said...

It's all about R...believe me.

Anonymous said...

Is R the "Ryulong" character who blocked you?

Anonymous said...

LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
...and so on, at c.s.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, did I say something?
(heehee)
(I'm sounding stupid, aren't I?)
c.s

Anonymous said...

Perhaps, c.s. :D :D :D

I'm still laughing.

BTW, I've missed an appropriate introduction. I'm La Pianista, one of LR's close Wiki-friends. I suppose you're one of her friends IRL?

Anonymous said...

I visited his Wiki site.
I might know why you're laughing. (teeheehee)
Yes, I'm one of Lady Renegade's real life friends.
C.S to LaPianista

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