"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Comraderie

Now Playing: Begin Again by Taylor Swift (you throw your head back laughing like a little kid, I think it's strange that you think I'm funny because he never did)

I think it's safe to say that seventeen years of being a relatively unappealing girl in Australia has made me rather cynical about Australian boys. Sure, they're easy going and on the whole pretty good looking, but you'll forgive me for saying that most of them are pretty calculative, insincere, stingy, insensitive lot, far too interested in impressing their mates than genuinely impressing their girls. The kind of boys who think I'm desperate to crawl into bed with them if they tell me to my face I'm a feminist and therefore eternally unfuckable. And whilst you might be quite offended by that, I'm really beyond caring. Whether I'm here in Korea or back home in Australia I wasn't exactly in high demand, and the people I have met here have taught me that alienating boys who already dislike me is no loss to anyone involved.

The boys here are from very different cultures than Australian society. Many of them are from stereotypically sexist, patriarchal, fanatically religious countries, but you see very little of that in them. What I have seen is genuine sincerity, a kind of sweet, shy generosity that is so rare in Australia. A few of them are extremely wealthy, but that almost seems beside the point - it's not just their easiness with money, their unwillingness to haggle over a few dollars with friends, that makes their generosity stand out to me like a halo in the dark. It's the kind of generosity from the heart, the kind that touches your soul with its exquisite innocence and kindness. They're all absolute sweethearts, doing things that boys back at home will only do at gunpoint - opening doors, shouting meals, giving little gifts.

But the sweetest thing is watching all the boys from all the different countries becoming brothers. English is theoretically our common language, but for many of us it's a second language, and so often spoken with rather interesting grammar and very thick accents, so nobody can really understand anyone else. Watching them work together, laugh at things only boys understand, running up to hug someone they only met six weeks ago...it's very touching. The comraderie is really beautiful. I love watching other people smile.

1 comment:

Adelaide Dupont said...

Ah!

Mates and comrades are quite different creatures. It's a different quality of the relationship.

Calculating? Check. Insensitive? Check. Insincere? Check. Stingy? Yes - though not strictly in the money sense.

"They're all absolute sweethearts, doing things that boys back at home will only do at gunpoint - opening doors, shouting meals, giving little gifts."

Ah!

"English is theoretically our common language, but for many of us it's a second language, and so often spoken with rather interesting grammar and very thick accents, so nobody can really understand anyone else."

And it's what you do when you don't understand yourself or other people which is important. Just hearing and seeing the comraderie.

It makes you rely on other means of impression and expression, doesn't it?

As for the "high demand" part...

If any of the guys come to Australia or have been in Australian experiences... (I hope they don't lose their sweetness and sincerity, though it depends on the individual too!)

Six weeks is still a honeymoon period in human relationships. It often takes about 8-20 weeks for the cracks to appear as intimacy and jockeying is developed.

Still, it's a great experience, and it's a rare one. You were all thrown together and it's great how you're all in it together. All for one and one for all. That seems to characterise comraderie to me.