Saudade

The red bricks

After the sun

Have a strange 

Warmth to them

When I was

Just a child

I used to 

Press my bare

Back and breast

To them and

Cry.

And the peppermint

Trees always stay

Cool even in

The February haze

And the soft

Green leaves would

Caress my skin

In the breeze

As I closed

My eyes and

Cried.

The rough touch

Of your hands

Your zipped up

Jacket and your

Almost-man chin

When I was

Just a child

I had soft

Words and lips

All for me.

And the seduction

Of sordid whispers

Cut the chill

Like a bright

Warm winter sun

I had that

Once upon a

Time.

Across the bay

I can see

The green light

In your eyes

You taught me

Love, my love

And that is

All well and

Good. 

Don't think that

I am chained

By bittersweet memories

No.

Once upon a 

Time I had

Your smiles and

Your eyes and

Your trust and

You were my

Very best friend. 

There will be

Other boys and 

Other kisses but 

I will always

Miss your friendship

I miss trusting

You with everything

You never let

My feet touch

The ground until

Now.

Nostalgia for the

Golden days remember

My little black 

Dress I wore

Then and today

Back then it

Was not stained

With tears and blood

If only I

Had been content

With your friendship

If only you

Had been satisfied

With my smiles

If we loved

Again I swear

I'd love you

Right. 

I do not

Regret what has

Been done but

I resent the

Saudade 

It does not

Mean the past 

Was any better

It only means

That the present

For the present

Is not good

Enough.

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