I must say that I am impressed that you could be so selfish. I am impressed that you can have a person's unhappiness on your conscience.

I do not have the heart to be such a bitch.

I try not to think about it - but it's hard to do that, at school, when the march from locker to class to locker to home is one long lonely march. But when I think about it too much, I start to cry. I cry like I cried over K, over rochester. I did not think this would cut so deep.

I knew that I would never be able to fully crack into the group. I knew that after high school we would part ways and probably never see or speak to each other again. I knew I would never have what my sister has, even now after her friends have taken their own paths. I knew that you would organize party after party, event after event, and overlook my invitation. I knew all of that. But beggars can't be choosers - I thought I could endure that, in exchange for a little company, a little kindness, just until graduation. I never knew that you had it in you to be so heartless.

You got rid of me easily. I have no intention of crawling back, begging. But you know I'm the kind of person who has to talk to heal. So I'm going to keep talking.