Shit Single Girls Say

"Can I just platonically lean on you for a bit? My heels are killing me."

"Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

"Joseph! Why have you come to the theatre dressed like Goebbels?"

"I am under no obligation to listen to you garble on about computer games, or hair gel, or kung fu, or Star Trek...did you want me to start talking about PMS?"

"No, you may not call Kim Jong Il and tell him his mistress is missing."

"Oy! Eyes up here, sweetie" 
"Can I take your digits?"
"No, not in a million years, you're nasty, please leave me alone" (With apologies to Lily Allen)

"Give me a SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGN, hit me baby one more TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!"

"Sorry, Cristy, but I am sincerely not sorry for perving on that random guy over there."

"Heart shaped lips. Yummy."

"I am a nun, I'm going to die a nun, I am a nun nun nun!"

"16 years NBK and counting..."

"Cheers, Cristy."
"What are we toasting to?"
"SINGLE LIFE SUCKS!"
"Agreed."

"I...totally have a boyfriend. He's Korean. He doesn't speak English. No, I don't have his number...they don't have phones in North Korea..."

"I genuinely, sincerely do not know my number" (that is true. Ask me for my number and  I won't have the foggiest idea what to say. I could give you my mother's, though...)

"I am an empowered, independent woman and I do not need a ma-....oooooh, he's cute...."

"Women's rights may change, but hormones never will."

"I'll be your Lizzy if you'll be my Darcy..." 

"Crampy and disgusting ladies, I am a beached whale and I'm going to die of blood loss."

"All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies put your hands up!"

(I obviously don't talk like this all the time, and I don't talk about boys, the absence of boys or the annoyance that is boys all the time. The Shit People Say thing is just compiling funny things a group of people might say. I just wanted to illustrate the gender dynamics from the perspective of an eternally (and, at the present, very happily) single schoolgirl)