"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Tied Together With a Smile, Jnr.

in parenthesis, this post is also called Anyway ;P

Urgh, I am *really* pissed off because I wrote this deep, meaningful (and let's face it, slightly kooky because I am who I am) blog post, and then just as I pressed "publish" Firefox went and crashed. And Blogger decided that it was nap-nap time for the autosave function.



I came across this song recently called Tied Together With a Smile, by Taylor Swift. And yes, I know, that was released AAAAAGES ago, but I'm a bit slow with these things. And I bought my Taylor Swift albums out of order: Speak Now first, because I was really excited when it was released, and then Fearless and Taylor Swift later because...they were on sale 'cause they were that old...

Anyway, Tied Together With a Smile goes like this:

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted,
'Cause you're giving it away like its extra change.
Hoping it will end up in his pocket,
But he left you out like a penny in the rain.

'Cause it's not his price to pay,
Not his price to pay...

Hold on, baby, you're losing it,
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go...
And no one knows you cry,
But you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one,
And you're tied together with a smile,
But you're coming undone...

When I first heard it, I thought of how I used to be.

But then, I realized...have I changed much from that?

Occasionally, people will accuse me of being a little pretentious because sometimes I run around like a madwoman, giggling like a flirt and laughing like a hyena. Or sometimes I just smile dreamily at the sunlight through the trees, or I sit and watch the ants go marching. It's hard to tell people that it's all the other times that I'm pretending; the cool detachment and the cold indifference. I used to be bubbly. Now it only shows in little glimmers, little sparkles. It only really happens when I'm really, really happy; when I'm high on love, or life, or both. Sometimes I don't need a reason to be happy. Children never need a reason to be happy, they're just so drunk on life. I used to be like that. I miss that.  

But sometimes...it happens just before I crack. The calm before the tempest, if you will. Sometimes I really am tied together with a smile.

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