The Cenceite-Confidence Confusion

Mood: depends how you see it. conceited, or confident.
Listening to: 'Change' by Taylor Swift
Hungry for: lunch

I'm gonna say it, loud and proud: I'm a confident person. I know what I'm good at, and I'm proud of my strengths. But I don't try to hide my flaws, either - I know I'm not some perfect goddess. I know I have my imperfections - everyone does - but I know that I can pull off things that not many other people can. That's how we all are - we all can do some things that other people can only dream of doing, and we all have to watch other people shine in ways that you can never dare to. So why is that so hard to comprehend?

All my life, I have been told that I'm conceited, proud, stuck-up, etc. One, I'm not conceited, two, there's nothing wrong wiht being proud, and three, the only people who are stuck-up enough to call another person a stuck-up is pretty much as stuck up as a human can get.

So I've been forced to do a lot of self-deprecating humour, beat down any compliments, even if I deserve them, and lather people up with praise. And then people say I'm insecure and depressed.

And now I'm really sick of trying to please everybody and ending up pleasing nobody. I'm not the kind of person that everyone likes - and I know that no matter what I do, I'll always end up pissing of somebody.

People often confuse conceit with confidence, and it can seriously do some social damage. So here is the lowdown - what is conceit, and what is not:

Conceitedness is exaggerating your own abilities, and believing you're better than you actually are. For example, if you're just a normal writer that's only known within your own country, you shouldn't say you're a world class writer, because that's not true.

Confidence is when you are a world class writer and you're proud of the fact.

Conceit is not:

• remarking that you like how you did your hair today
• remarking that you think your dress/makeup looks pretty good today
• saying that you think you did pretty good in a test
• saying that you did really well in an assignment
• stating that you got a good prize in a competition

Conceit is:

• telling everyone that Megan Fox ain't got nothing on your good looks and killer ass
• telling everyone that no-one in the whole freaking world can run as fast as you (unless you're Ussain Bolt, I rather doubt that is true)
• stating that you got a good prize in a competition. The best ever. No-one will ever do as good as you in the history of mankind.
• mocking anyone else's dreams or ambitions, no matter how small or petty you think they are.

It's that simple, really. Just because most people you meet aren't as down as a dog on the highway, doesn't mean that they're stuck up and conceited. So think about it before you hurt someone's pride and make them insecure by telling them off for a vice that they don't even have.