"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Saturday, July 10, 2010

10 Things Not To Say On a Date

Mood: pissed off
Listening to: 'Airplanes' by B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams from Paramore
Hungry for: pizza
Bella says: 'stupid haircut...'

Do you know how many articles I have seen in women's magazines of '10 Things Not to Say on a Date'? Too freaking many, that's how many. I mean, why are women constantly encouraged to censor who we are for men? Don't talk about periods, don't talk about sex, don't talk about the drama of hair removal. Wear makeup, but don't wear too much, don't let it look like you're wearing makeup, you know? Dress provocatively, but not sluttily, as if there's a difference, do your hair, but don't spend ages because you don't want to keep your guy waiting. We're told not to order a salad because he'll think you're anorexic but don't eat too much either, or he'll think you're gluttinous. Wear lipstick but don't complain when he complains about getting pink frosting all over his lips when he kisses you. Don't criticize, don't complain, just grin and bear it. That is basically what we are told to do when we date. In fact, we're not even allowed to grin - apparently men don't like that either.

Yet I've never seen an article telling men to get a decent suit and deodorant before a first date, I've never seen any journalist say 'shave but don't look like you've shaved, you know?'. We've been told a squillion times that men don't want to hear about your ex broke your fucking heart and humiliated you in front of the entire cosmos, but someone's never gotten around to telling guys that no, we don't want to hear about the cricket our the footy or how spectacular Lleyton Hewitt was in the Hoffman Cup of '07. Someone's never told guys that we don't want to hear how you can burp 'Twinkle Twinkle' or how many girls you've shagged, in order from best to worst. Even if we tell guys these things, they just brush it off, saying things like 'don't be picky', or worse, throw an all out hissy about 'how we're trying to change them' and 'controlling bitch'.

Maybe this is why I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have time to keep up with this shit. I don't have time to pretend to be something I'm not. And I don't have the patience to keep up with a world that preys on my insecurities.

5 comments:

Adelaide Dupont said...

Nor I.

Three things to say on a date:

"I love you here.

I love you now.

I love you."

Adelaide Dupont said...

And by the way:

Hewitt really did well in the Hopman Cup, didn't he, of 2007?

(Not nearly as well as Philippousis and Dokic of 1999...and mixed doubles).

(Not to mention Lucy Hopman. She must be doing something right! She's not just there as decoration).

Anonymous said...

oh yeah, it is the hopman cup, isn't it?

pretty sad, considering it's held in Perth and I don't even know the name.

All I know about Philippousis is that he cheated on Delta Goodrem. Just tigering around, I guess.

Adelaide Dupont said...

How sad.

I remember watching the P in 1994-1996, when he was a young boy of 17, looking like a Greek god and trying really hard against Pete Sampras.

(And then the whole Rafter thing).

As for cheating on Goodrem, not an easy thing. Especially as it was with Hilton!

Never mind, Out of the Blue was supposed to have come out of that.

Guess Who said...

I very much agree.

Dates are confusing things: awkward, annoying, time consuming.

But good if you're with the right person.

And by the way...how do you post a video, from, say, Youtube onto your blog?? Help!