The Cluedo Anology.

If you've ever played Cluedo, you may have realized that Mrs Peacock has an advantage. Not only is she only seven spaces away from the nearest door (the rest of the players are eight spaces away), that door leads to a room with a secret passageway. It's not against the rules or to be considered cheating, but still, an advantage is an advantage.

Sometimes I feel that way between women and men. Even when men don't cheat, don't break the rules, they're still Mrs Peacock.

I know people think I'm being petty about this - this and about Cluedo. But when you're as young as I am you notice these things, and you get angry about it. And you want to change, but no, you're too young, they say. The fire of reformation dies long before the society deems you qualified for revolution, because you learn to bow your head and behave when you're older - or so I've seen. I never want to be like that.

I notice how women must be so beautiful - more beautiful, it seems, than men. I mean, I love makeup, but only if it makes you feel good. But no, there's this societal requirement to wear makeup, even if you don't want to (I have see way too many women wearing makeup just because they feel they need to), pluck eyebrows, wear nice clothes. And then you must constantly praise other women, or you'll be seen as a shrew, and you constantly have to degrade yourself, or you'll be called vain and arrogant. I've never seen a man sing praises about another man's abs, or bemoan his physical features to eye-bleeding extremism just because he felt he had to.

And then there's that kind of sexism that is supposed to be light hearted and funny, but it's not. Do you know how many times I have heard feminists being described as man-hating women who refuse to shave their legs? Let me tell you something - I and many other women have great cause to hate men, but we don't. And refusing to shave? Does that make all men feminists too, because they don't shave their legs?

This is why I see things like infidelity and, oh, I don't know, randomly asking out people and dumping them online to be so bad, especially in men. If men took one second, just one fucking second, to realize just what women have to do for them, for other women and for the world, they should back off a bit. We have to try so hard to get so little.

Infidelity is disgusting. Jonathan Rhys Meyers, an egotistical bastard who plays another egotistical bastard in The Tudors, Henry VIII, says that 'I have only had one girlfriend who I didn't cheat on. Men are like that. No matter how many times you eat pasta, some night you are going to want steak.' I hate how he says that so off-handedly, so casually, as though it's perfectly acceptable for men to go fuck around when they're supposedly with someone. And yet people idolize him, this Jonathan Rhys Meyers, even though if a woman said something like that people would be calling her a skank. Double standards, much? Or then there's Dr. Phil (God knows why anyone likes him or his show), who made his ex wife stay at home, not have a say in their business and lift weights to increase her bustline, and yet everyone seems to be kind of cool with that. I'm pretty sure if I ran a business, shunned my husband from it and made him work out 24/7 so that I'd have a hot manbag to sleep with...well, let's face it, no man would tolerate that, unless they voluntarily did all of the above. But yet, a man did this to a woman, and what's more, he's not the only one, and he's a public figure, for crying out loud.

Men in general, with a few noble exceptions, take a good too many liberties because of their sex. They expect too much of women and not enough of themselves. I believe that all men can do better. I'm not saying they have to run off and pluck their eyebrows and wear lipstick, but I think all of us, men and women, can afford to show everyone a bit of respect.

By the way, whenever we play Cluedo now Mrs Peacock must start off the board. To make it fair. I see that as an anology for chivalry towards women - to try and make things a bit fairer.