"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Saturday, December 25, 2010


I was talking to a friend the other day (on the ever-eventful msn) and I said to her 'I wish I was more like me.'

I should probably explain this.

The 'me' that I am is a very moody, depressed girl who is bitter and sarcastic to the extreme, has a massive crush on Sheldon Cooper and that boy from the eigth grade that she is totally-of-course-not-completely-absolutely not over. This 'me' binge eats, is lazy, whiny and slightly neurotic.

The 'me' that I wish I was more like is the 'me' people see hopefully more than the previous 'me'. This 'me' is Lady Renegade, ready to conquer the world. Bright, funny, intelligent, talented, smart, pretty with enough eyeliner, feminist, ready to die for something big and brave and bold and hopefully get a wikipedia page, and is totally over eighth-grade douchebag, thank you very much.

Since I've been sick, I've been at home waddling around in pain or under the influence of opiates in my pajamas with my hair in a stupid top knot, with no makeup and a massive acne breakout. I've been deprived of almost everything that has made my life enjoyable and I have to sleep on beanbags to avoid pressure on my surgical site. Needless to say, I've reverted back to being the previous 'me'.

I think I have a split personality disorder. One person cannot be such a bright spark and such an astronomical failure simultaneously. They'd explode.

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