"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Monday, December 13, 2010

Dear L.R., nearly 13.

Dear L.R., nearly 13.

This is L.R., nearly 15.

I wish I could warn you before it happened, but a boy is going to break your heart.

You're going to fall in love and you're going to be over the moon, but he's going to send you crashing down.

He's going to be someone elses. He's not going to be worth it. But it's going to happen.

He'll ask you out, and you'll feel like dancing in the rain. You'll sing love songs all weekend. And then he'll pull the rug from under your feet, and I wish I could have told you, but it's too late. It's happened, and you're going to cry yourself to sleep. Be strong.

And you're going to be scarred after him. Nobody's going to understand except me, but for some reason, you won't be able to pick yourself up for a year afterward. You won't even know why you can't get over what is obviously so beneath you. You'll look at him and be angry, be sad, and think 'Why?'. You're going to wonder how your sweet little boy could be so cruel.

Nobody's going to understand. They'll try and make you forgive and forget too early, and it's going to hurt even more. It's because of them you're going to be still bleeding when you should have long healed. They won't give you a chance to let your wounds heal - they'll just keep ripping off the bandaid and laugh as you bleed. This is a time when you're going to be alone, but be strong.

What I can tell you now is that things are going your way - and you'll have to enjoy this, and wait for love. I'm sorry I cannot offer you more solace. I wish I could tell you now you have a wonderful boy who loves you and wraps his arm around you and kisses you and buys you roses in February and holds your hand as he walks you to class. I wish I could tell you he bought you a ring on your birthday and a bracelet for Christmas and you wear them both, and you make sure they match with everything. I wish I could tell you that this boy is smart and funny and sweet and cute and will never lie to you, never hurt you...but I can't.

Somebody in your life, someone precious, is going to leave, but otherwise you're getting what you wanted, more or less. You're going to prove all of them wrong, because you're going to show them what you can do. Love can wait. But I can tell you here, now, at least some of your dreams are coming true.

Oh, and the thing you've been dreading...it will happen this summer.

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