My Dog is Weird

My dog is really weird.

Okay, so she's not my dog - thank heaven for that, if she were mine I would have seriously done something about her brain damage by now - she's my sister's who failed to put any sense into that ball of fluff because she was so adorably cute.

She is cute, but she looks so dumb - she is dumb. She has exactly five words in her impressively small vocabulary, only two of which she fully understands and attempts to remember with enthusiasm - the others she isn't quite sure of. Originally, we thought 'at least she's smart enough to know her name' but we found out that wasn't the case - you could call her 'Boot polish' or 'Tomato soup' and she'd respond, comically cocking her head to one side, as long as you said it in the same high pitched voice as we'd used to call her by her real name 'Skye'.

She is the most disobedient dog in history - I'm actually surprised we managed to toilet-train her to go outside rather than on our beds, where she sleeps. She only knows one command - 'Sit' - but she only obeys it when there are considerably large food rewards, and even then, only when she feels like it. Her favourite pastimes are eating, sleeping, annoying our other dog, eating, sleeping, barking, eating, sleeping, building a mini London Underground in our back lawn, eating, sleeping, looking dumb, eating, sleeping, acting dumb, eating, sleeping, being dumb, eating, sleeping, playing with the water in her water bowl, eating, and sleeping.

Edward Cullen thinks that Bella Swan is entertaining when she sleeps - well, he should get an eyeful of Skye when she sleeps - which is about 90% of the time. She sleeps, four paws in the air, on her back, absolutely no modesty at all. When she dreams, she yaps and barks and flaps her paws around. It's so funny.

You're probably thinking - why am I writing this? Isn't it a bit spontaneous?

Well, it is spontaneous, and I am well known for being a very spontaneous person. But do you know what inspired me?

I was helping mum with preparing the Christmas Eve dinner in the kitchen just now, and as I was finishing up a job, I peered over into the living room to see if the T.V was still on.

And there was Skye, all alone on the sofa, head on paws with a very serious expression, watching the news gravely.

What the heck?