Things That I Have Learnt to Cook That I Am Very Proud Of

...and will probably save your undernourished underpaid student ass.

Fuck Starbucks Chai Latte

1. Add half a cup of water and one Chai teabag to a pot. Add extra spices if  you liiiiike (cinnamon, ginger, star anise, vanilla are pretty cool. Curry powder...not so much.)
2. Heat on low until bubbly.
3. Turn off and let it sit for two minutes. The teabag will probably have exploded by now but that's fine. Actually in hindsight you should have probably just ripped the teabag open and tipped it into your water at step 1.
4. Turn the stove back onto low, stir in 1tsp-1tbsp of honey and a dash of vanilla essence and wait for the water to get bubbly again.
5. Add half a cup of milk, put the lid on and then wait for it to nearly bubble over
6. Strain into a cup or a travel mug and enjoy cheating massive beverage franchises out of their crappy powder and frothy milk shit.

Tea on the go

1. In a travel mug add boiling water, milk and honey to taste, and two teabags.
2. Done. (It does taste pretty good, honest)

Microwave Nachos!

1. Fill a microwave safe container with about two handfuls of corn chips and half a cup of cheese (I like chopped up cheddar or frozen shredded cheese)
2. Put about 4 or 5 tablespoons of salsa into a little container. Tomato sauce works in a pinch, or sriracha if you like picking up chicks in cafeterias with tears of pain streaming down your sweaty, bright red face. I like medium or mild salsa spiked with tomato sauce and a little sriracha or gochujang. Gochujang goes surprisingly well with non-Korean food.
3. In another little container put about 2 or 3 tablespoons of sour cream or Greek yoghurt. Now would probably be a good time to mention that you can do all this container crap the night before and store it in the fridge.
4. Add your salsa to your nachos and zap it in the microwave for 1 minute.
5. Add sour cream and watch as everyone turns to look at you as you become the first person in the history of the world to actually eat something edible within the confines of a university ref.

^ this is actually my favourite uni lunch because I don't have to buy anything on campus, it's super quick and easy if you do the prep the night before and it's really filling and tasty and not too unhealthy if you use plain nachos and light cheese.

Mac and Cheese!

1. Half a cup of pasta per person. Anything that isn't long and pokey or big and annoying goes - I like using little shells because...I couldn't find any macaroni...
2. Cook pasta in salted water for one minute less than the recommended cooking time. Because recommended cooking times are for suckers.
3. Strain pasta. In the pot add a quarter cup of milk and 1tsp of butter for each half a cup of pasta. Add the pasta and cook until the milk reduces and the sides of the pot start turning gold and the whole thing is hissing at you menacingly.
4. Take off the heat and quickly stir in 1/4-1/2 cup of cheese per person. This is clearly not a Weight Watches approved recipe.
5. You can experiment with parmasan and stock cubes to flavour it up - with limited success, I might add.

...this is literally all I eat and drink these days :P