In The Eye Of The Beholder

There are so many things that are so very subjective in this world. My talents, her beauty, how pretty is his girlfriend - all these things are really subject to opinion. I haven't quite learned how to master that - learning how to keep the odds to my favour, trying to stay positive, but I'm learning.

My talents. Sure, the statistics are all there - top 1% in writing and spelling, top 3% in reading, top 24% in math. Rock bottom in sport and art.

And the statistics are true, in a way. But not everyone has to believe them. I don't, for example.

My confidence in my writing has its highs and lows - there are some days when I think I can beat J.K Rowling in my sleep, there are other days when I doubt my writing so seriously I sink into a brief stage of depression. There are some people (my loyal friends - I love you all) who can gush about my wordplay skills for hours on end without pause; there are some that will say merely "That kid can write" or a "Do you seriously think she knows how bad she is?"

Despite the huge variation in the comments about my writing, my writing skill is the same - no worse, no better, albeit all the comments.

I have 'pretty days' and 'ugly days'. There are some days I feel like I could kick Jennifer Hawkins' butt right off the catwalk; there are some days when I feel as ugly as a little gremlin. My beauty is unique - and most of it is in the inside - so not everyone, sometimes not even me, can see it.

When I first saw BSC's girlfriend, Bethany (before they were going out), I thought she was a sweet girl, really nice, not the prettiest but definately NOT the ugliest.

Until I saw the way BSC looked at her! It was like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time - he STILL gushes about her beauty.

And now I can't see any of her flaws - I've been influenced so much by her boyfriends' comments that it's changed the way I see her. So not only is her beauty subjective, but other people's opinions are very influential.

When you're having a bad time, when you've done something bad, remember that not everyone thinks you are as bad as you think you are. But also remember that when you're on top of the world, not everyone is at the top with you.