fearless.

I told you I'm getting wiser ;)

I've gotten to the point where I'm letting go. I've realized that what I want is so powerful and beautiful and special that I'll always want it, but I won't find it here - not at high school.

It took me a long time to finally give up. I'm a pretty persistent person. But when you realize that you've been in love with one boy for three years and he still pretends like you don't exist, and that you've had a boyfriend for a grand total of three days, you realize that, for the time being, you're pretty much a lost cause.

What I want is what few could offer and even fewer deserve. I truly believe that true love is fearless. I've never had that, not yet. I've always been afraid of all the boys that I have ever loved. I've always been afraid of myself. I've never had the courage to be reckless; I've never had the chance to be fearless. One day, I'll learn the difference between a jump and fall.

I don't need people to say that I'm smart or beautiful. I don't need someone who tells me that I have a pretty laugh and nice hair and then ignores me. I want someone to say that I am fearless...I want someone to say that they taught me to be fearless, and that is the best part of me. 

But for now, I have other things to do. A woman is nothing without education, and everybody is a nobody before graduation. I have my own goals, my own goals that don't involve the fickle hearts of teenage boys, and I'll work on that first. Fearlessness....that will come later.