I don't really want you to know
That sometimes I sit
For the numbers to flip
You have become my
Tom Riddle's diary
I don't want to be
With or without you.
I had the most horrifying image.
I saw myself sitting
Cupping in my hands
A mug of tea.
I'm watching something you don't like
And even though I'm "home"
I've done my hair the way you like.
You finally walk through the door at
Back from people who don't
Scare you like I do.
And I press "pause" in the middle of the best part
Ready to become a heavily edited
watered down version
of the passion and sordid fantasies
I keep hidden inside.
And just when I think we've become teenagers again
And that you're laughing too much in your
I look back and realize
When I was sixteen I said you were a shadow of what you really are.
And when I was sixteen I swore I would never turn my back on
So I don't know...
I don't see...
I don't think
I should spend
Watching the numbers flip