It's popular, but it's not really, but it's kinda popular, I mean, you have to not like it but pretend to you like it but not like it...

Mood: dry (as in the humour. dry humour.)
Listening to: 'Baby' by Justin Bieber
Hungry for: common sense
Bella says: 'Mummm??? I'm sleepy, I'm on the couch, BUT DON'T YOU DARE DISAPPEAR!!!!!'

Did the title confuse you enough already? Yeah, that's the kind of shit I get every day at school.

It's this Justin Bieber dude. I mean, I like his songs. I love his lyrics in the same way I like Twilight. It's like meaningful un-meaningful stuff. It's kind of difficult to explain - as in, neither of them are classics, but they're both strangely addictive.

Sure, Justin Bieber sounds like an eight year old and puberty is going to hit him like a train, and he looks stupid doing that hand-heart thing that he always does and equally stupid with his cap that is clearly way to big for him and fails at trying to disguise himself (hoodies just don't cut it these days), but I like his music. I also, in some bizarrely strange way, like his melodramatic cheesy videos, in the same way I lap up Robert Pattinson's stale and dishevelled Edward Cullen.

But then Justin Bieber, much like Dolly Magazines and Twilight and Hannah Montana and High School Musical, are in that 'grey' group. I know everyone secretly indulges in at least one of them, but I don't understand why these are like secret, guilty pleasures. To make things even more complicated, you have to not like them but pretend that you like them kind of but really not like them. Something along those lines.

I think I'm the only person in my grade who openly reads Dolly and Twilight, listens to Justin Bieber and watches High School Musical and Hannah Montana. I know heaps of people secretly like these things, but they'll never admit it. I know some diehard Twilight fans force themselves to say that it's a load of crap through their teeth. I just don't get it. One of my more recent posts, Dear Hayden, is basically what society does to every single one of us - and even if it doesn't, we always imagine it does. And what do I get? Criticized for being too mean. But this is what happens! I'm just demonstrating reality. I'm just saying what you're all thinking. I'm just stating what we all know.

When I was younger I used to crack under this pressure, and then I very recently went through a 'I genuinely give a shit about not giving a shit' thing, where I purposely did eccentric things for the thrilling combination of attention and daredevil and 'make me stop' kind of defiance. Growing up in a mixed culture in a very hypocritical and harsh age, I've always found it difficult just to be myself. I always feel like I have to conform, or be like, the next Lady Gaga. Do any of you feel like that?