The Plasticine Anology

Mood: selfish...in a good way
Listening to: 'Unwanted' by Avril Lavigne
Hungry for: nothing much...

So, in philosophy, we're learning about the suppression of selfishness. You may think that this is a good thing. It's not.

Because, you see, all human beings...all life forms, really, are essentially selfish. It's one of the very few common traits that all living things share. Our primary instinct is simply to stay alive.

And then, of course, society had to warp all of that. No, it's not cool to save your own skin, you've got to save your friend. Who's probably going to be so guilty that you died instead of him he'll commit suicide anyway. Lovely.

And then there's the other classic example that I'm looking at in philosophy: it's not cool to be happy, you've got to give your happiness to someone else, who then has to give it to someone else, and the useless cycle goes on.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's good to help people, but let me tell you about my plasticine anology.

Okay, so all human beings are children sitting around a table. There is a giant blob of plasticine in the middle of the table, and when it runs out, a grown-up (who could represent God or Allah, if you want), puts another giant blob of plasticine on the table. The plasticine represents happiness.

Logically, every child should take a hunk of plasticine to play with, and if there was not enough, or they wanted more, the grown-up would put more down for them to take.

But this is what really happens.

The children stare at the plasticine for a considerable length of time, daring each other to take the plasticine first. Finally, one child (Child A) reaches out and tears off a hunk. Instead of following suite, the children's eyes move from the big blob of plasticine on the table to the small blob in that child's hand. Under the silent pressure of awkwardness and social morality, the child quickly passes the plasticine to the child next to him who, after a few seconds, passes it to the next child. And so the plasticine gets passed from person to person in this senseless manner, without anyone benefiting from the plasticine.

Finally, one child (Child B) stops the cycle and says that this plasticine is his, and that everyone else has to take their own from the abandoned blob in the middle. The other children just stare at him, and some start shouting abuse ('I'll dob on you! That's so unfair!'), whilst others try another kind of blackmail ('My mummy says we should listen to God and God says that we should all share').

But the kid is just a kid. He eventually cracks, and surrenders the plasticine to the waiting hand of the child next to him. And so the cycle starts again.

After a while, a child (Child C), who was brought up in a no-nonsense Atheist family, stops the cycle and repeats what Child B says, only he stands firm. He starts making his plasticine into different shapes, even taking more from the pile in the middle. The others are utterly disgusted, but eventually give in and finally take plasticine of their own.

And so this continues, although they are very reluctant to take more plasticine from the middle if they need it - the effort is just too much, apparently. So there is endless stealing and then consequent bickering, and it drives them all mad. And then, just as the wind changes direction, it suddenly becomes 'not cool' to steal from each other. You have to take from the middle pile now - that is cool.

And then there's the particular way of taking from the middle pile...which is a ritual in itself. The lists of 'cool' and 'uncool' go on and on, and this is just about happiness. If we all cared for ourselves and got happiness for ourselves without worrying about other people, we'd all be happy.

Note that this anology doesn't apply to third world countries.

You probably didn't get it, anyway. Too confusing much.