"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Monday, September 05, 2011

Can of Worms #9

Worm #19: Is it OK to smack your child?
The long and short of it: No. 

My say: Corporal punishment is a violent means of instilling fear in your child and leads to an unhealthy parent-child relationship based on terror rather than respect. There are plenty of ways in which discipline can be successfully enforced without physical means; my parents never hit me and I never became a juvenile delinquent. I've babysat toddler cousins before; I've never had the slightest inclination to hit them. I know it doesn't really compare to 24/7 parenting, but nonetheless children as young as two can be reasoned with when a) they're not in the throes of a tantrum and b) you do it properly. If your child is really too young to understand reasoning, then they're definitely too young to be smacked. Smacking is outdated and completely useless; not to mention it violates many federal laws and basic human rights. Children retain things much longer than adults; things that adults forget in six seconds turn into lifelong grudges in children, and it is unhealthy for children to view their parents in any other way than with love and respect. Being a parent is a priviledge; a difficult priviledge, I'll admit, but your child has only you to turn to for love and support, and smacking is a surefire way to destroy that bond. Any parent who hits their child is disgusting, unfit to be a parent and is a perpetrator of child abuse.

It's sad that men are more likely to smack their children than women (Can of Worms). Children, especially girls, should learn to have both a healthy respect and a great affection for men, and should always be exposed to friendly, loving relationships with men, particularly her father. Fathers don't know how much one loud word or one smack can damage their child - and I know from experience. 

Worm #20: If a woman has had a boob job, is it an open invitation to look at them?
The long and short of it: No. 

I don't really approve of cosmetic surgeries, particularly because I take surgeries very seriously - it's scarring, going through that when you're five. But, I respect every person's right to do whatever they want with their bodies, and their rights shouldn't be forfeited just because they get some work done. I say this because it is not civil to stare at large chested women - you know, larger women, pregnant and breastfeading women, etc - and how can you be 200% sure that the woman you're ogling at is fake, and therefore it's okay? There's no true way of telling. Also, not everyone with a boob job gets it for pure cosmetic reasons - many women get them as a result of masectomies, inverted nipples etc. If you don't know, don't look.

Do women like being looked at? To be honest, sometimes. We're very aware of the social and biological impact of boobs. But it's not the be all and end all of everything - it's just one of the many things that add up to make a woman physically attractive or unattractive. And there's a different between looking and leering - I go to a co-ed high school, and trust me, teenagers look everywhere all the time. But if it's more than a brief glance and the guy is well, not really Gen-Y then that's just...creepy. 

Would I get a boob job? Probably not. I say this because I'm terrified of surgeries and I hate hospital, and even though it's inevitable in my lifetime I would rather not go voluntarily. I would only do it if my appearance was so unflattering it was affecting me psychologically - but I doubt it. Genetics tells me that I won't end up looking so bad, and I think my self esteem can endure not having melon breasts. Actually, I think my self esteem would be a good deal healthier without melon breasts.

If you have any worms that you would like me to respond to, please email or comment below.

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