"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Asperger's Syndrome

I have just self-diagnosed myself with Asperger's Syndrome.

Of course, I have no medical proof that I have Asperger's Syndrome. It's just that I fit creepily into a hell of a lot of the official symptoms, and perhaps if people are under the impression that my psycho fuckupedness actually has a name they'll back off a little.

What is Asperger's Syndrome, you ask? It is a type of autism, but a high-functioning autism - that means that people who have this type of autism, instead of having a lower intelligence than normal, show normal or high levels of intelligence. Asperger's Syndrome is characterized by social ineptness, inability to empathise and relate to people, physical clumsiness, obsessions with and pursuits of narrow subjects, which become more and more unusual, without necessarily having an interest or understanding of the broader topic, prococious reading, a highly-developed vocabulary at a young age. A symptom that is sometimes only limited to childhood is an inability to comprehend and use sarcasm or irony, and the tendancy to use and comprehend language in its literal form only. Symptoms of Asperger's normally become apparent at the age of five or six.

Whilst many of you are now shaking your heads and diagnosing me with insanity for diagnosing myself with autism, think about it. I know I am in no way qualified to say that I have any syndrome other than weirdness, but if you know me, is my diagnosis really so far fetched? I mean, I've spent my entire life as a loner. I don't understand most of the people who live around me. I spent the last three months compiling a comprehensive list of the members of the Joseon Royal Family in English and my understanding of certain, random things (Elizabeth I, the Tudor Dynasty, Yi San, etc.) surpasses many but my understanding of most other things remain stubbornly elementary. I read Harry Potter at the age of four and I was writing ten-page recounts at the age of six but I couldn't even write numbers properly until over a year later. And it only emerged that I was a social failure when I was about five or six - until then, unbelievably, I was actually quite popular. I don't think 'weirdness' covers this. I think I've put all the pieces together, here, finally, and I've even managed to name it.

Do you?

2 comments:

Adelaide Dupont said...

"A social failure at the age of five or six".

Now that is interesting. I'll probably coment on some reasons why soon. (Am reading very deeply into developmental psychology and complexity theory. I am also reading deeply into Encyclopaedia Dramatica). It is a shame and a shock that it is so early in a life.

The autistic phenotype has indeed got broader since I was a girl and young woman.

In the 2000s (2000-2003) there was some concern that Asperger syndrome as a educational diagnosis might become fashionable.

In this connection, there was a 15-year-old boy taking the International Baccalaureate in Canada who was concerned he might be dyslexic. It was eventually thought

"The sexiest of the autisms" to coin a phrase.

How are the people at your school with such characteristics treated? Are they tolerated?

Will want to pass you on some material:

http://conversationalhysteria.blogspot.com/search/label/Hans%20Asperger

(which contains the man himself's words).

http://incorrectpleasures.blogspot.com/
(which has a ginormous list of famous people).

Nicolas said...

As I know people with Asperger syndrome produce remarkable creative breakthroughs and trouble reading social cues. Usually they will be impolite, insensitive and often fail in eye contact, all these make normal people frustrated. Common people should understand Asperger’s problem and can help them in communal atmosphere.