"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Equalitist Equilibrium Dilemma

The sex war has been going on and on since the dawn of time. The fact is, as two seperate sexes, we simply cannot reconcile ourselves to our faults or the faults of the opposing party. It's a men are from Mars, women are from Venus thing.

But as I said, I'm from Pluto. I'm trying to be a mediator.

The problem is that, for example, if women point of the flaws in men, men immediately assume that women assume that they are Practically Perfect in Every Way - this works vice versa. What we have to recognise is that women can be whiney and men can be violent - and yes, I suppose, the other way around. Men have overridden women's rights and trampled on our dignities for centuries but, in frustration on the lack of progress in the women's rights front, sometimes we are reduced to attacking the most trivial faults in men, which, if you know anything about men, is a very counterproductive activity.

One fault I have found occurrent in men is their lack of empathy - empathy is a primarily female thing or, at least, associated with women. Women grow up - men pretend to. When women are screaming in the agony of childbirth it is the natural reaction of some men to wonder why all the doctors and midwives aren't focusing on him. Justifiably, but perhaps unwisely, we women take umbrage at this.

But it's not just men who like being the centre of attention. Women are naturally flamboyant creatures, which has lead to much stereotyping and then discrimination and bitterness on both parts to both parties.

Another female instinct is the desire to be loved, which often clashes with feminist ideals and is a point of criticism, which is unfair. I'm not proud to admit that I have spent a good part of my adolescence mooning over boys, but I'm not really ashamed of it, either. It is a failing in women, but then, there are many failings in men.

From my research on the internet (read: attempting to read misogynistic anti-feminism, anti-women blogs. the horror.) men seem a little threatened by the feminist movement, and try to supress it instead of understand it. The feminist wave can be seen as a small tsunami of sorts - a result of a deep disturbance deep in our hearts. Granted, some male prides may be washed away by the wave, but it serves as a defiant and desperate way to ensure continuing respect for women in the same away a tsunami commands man's respect for nature. Perhaps it is natural to feel fear for this, which two centuries ago was virtually umprecedented. Perhaps it is guilt, for all the issues that have been swept under the sex war carpet. But not hate. After all, we deserve this battle just as men never deserved all the others.

I can tell you from experience that boys and men can be irritating, annoying, heartbreaking assholes who have no consideration for those who love them despite all their irritating annoying heartbreaking farked-upness. Many men can tell you from experience the same about girls and women. Neither should be taken as sexism - just some well-deserved abuse aimed at exes who should go die in Auschwitz instead of the Jews.

Equality is not about abolishing maternity leave or ignoring man-flu. Equality is not about having one communal bathroom instead of sex segregated ones. Equality is not about ignoring the differences between the two sexes, but accepting them. Equality is not a society based on nitpicking and wars over trivial hurts, but a society based on mutual kindness and respect.

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