Nude Patent Leather Pumps.

You know, I rarely follow fashion.

I love looking good, but following trends isn't really the way to go. Trends are just downscaled craziness from the catwalk, and the catwalk is a place for size zeroes. I am not a size zero. I am a very proud size 10. 12, in Australia, home of Miranda Kerr.

Due to my general ignorance of trends, I rarely notice them - I have trained my eye only to pick out ones that a) I can recreate without having to buy anything b) I can recreate without having to buy anything expensive and c) Ones that look good on me - But I have, however, noticed an awful lot of nude patent leather pumps.

There is an unprecedented number of nude patent leather pumps showing up in stores - and it must be unprecedented, because if it wasn't I wouldn't have noticed. Patent leather is expensive, at least when it's en trende, and I don't like it. I look revolting in nude (hah. insert inappropriate joke here.) - I know that for a fact, because last time I tried to put a nude matte lipgloss on I looked like I was really ill and when I tried to put on my sister's nude dress I looked like a corpse. Also, being not yet fifteen, I am not accustomed to wearing heels and hence only have one pair - black peep-toe satin, which I think is much more stylish than nude patent leather pumps.

I've often being fascinated with the fascination with nude. Why would you want to look like you're ill, a corpse, or naked when you can look well, alive and, well, dressed - in bright colours. My whole wardrobe is stocked up in vibrant shades of red and blue and purple and black - bold colours. But not pink. That's another fascination I find fascinating. I very rarely like pink.