Things you should know before going to high school in Australia.

1. You have to walk to every single class. Get used to it.

2. You cannot store anything in high school desks except bubblegum. Depending on how big your school is, you may be allocated a locker or a shared locker, or a locker the size of a thimble.

3. When addressing teachers, female teachers are always 'Ms', because high school teachers (unlike primary school teachers, who seem to suffer a case of permanent verbal diarrhea) rarely divulge personal information, including maritial status. Male teachers are always 'Mr'. You can also call female teachers 'miss', especially if you don't know their name, and male teachers as 'sir' (althoug not sire, because that's just weird). Some teachers like nicknames, some do not.

4. When walking in and around the school campus, keep to the left at all times.

5. There is a hierarchy when it comes to giving way: Wheelchair/crutcher/blind people, important people in suits that you've never seen before, Principals, teachers, year twelves, year elevens, year tens, year nines, year eights, administration staff, other. When you move up the hierarchy and those below you do not follow it, feel free to push right into them.

6. High school teachers tend to be much more cynical than primary school teachers. Get used to it.

7. You can't believe everything high school teachers say - you do not need to pass math or science to get 'somewhere in life'. Up until and including year ten it is perfectly acceptable to slog off on subjects that you don't like, although you do have to try hard at at least one or two subjects.

8. Be prepared to forge notes. Lots of them. 'Please excuse X from attending P.E as she has injured her ankle....spear fishing. Signed, X's Mom'

9. Need I tell you that there is a lot of homework? Don't worry, you don't have to do it all. Most teachers forget about homework after you haven't handed it in after about three months.

10. You're gonna have to suck up to some teachers to stay in the good books, and so someone will vouch for you when the SCIENCE TEACHERS INVADE.

11. Health teachers are irreversibly perverted. Prepare for some lovely hours of dildos, condoms and graphic pictures of penile diseases.

12. If you ever get busted for wearing too mucn makeup or jewellery, the best excuse is 'it's for religious purposes'.

13. If you think your teachers are dumb then administration staff are a whole lot worse. I doubt you will be able to comprehend any of the typo-riddled, gramatically incorrect messages sent home.

14. Uniform shop ladies are awful. Come armed with a parent.

15. There are no playgrounds in high school, and you only get a half-hour lunch break, however if you are sneaky about it you can eat at unconventional times - I have managed to eat an entire sandwich, an apple, a juicebox, and a packet of chocolate biscuits in a science lab with nobody noticing. Some teachers eat in class and don't care if you do either.

16. Infuriating teachers is a hell of a lot of fun. Be sure to remind the teacher who always confiscates your cell phone that it's against school policy to answer a cell phone during class next time he spends three hours chatting to his girlfriend when he's meant to be teaching you geography. At the next social, plan a 'shirts-off' time - at a certain hour all (buff) boys take their shirts off and start dancing with the girls. It drives teachers crazy.

17. Have fun!