1 day before it's due: Please, please, please don't come. I already have to deal with killer heels and tiaras and Gangnam Style.
Due date: Yay! Thank you thank you thank you!
1 day late: Dear PMS. You just made me treat a person who normally gets away with murder like he had actually murdered someone. And was not getting away with it. Thanks.
2 days late: Damn hormones
3 days late: GODDAMN hormones
4 days late: Maybe it's a good thing. It's a good thing. Convince yourself it's a good thing.
5 days late: It's just exam stress
6 days late: It's just period stress. Making my period late. Because that's legit.
7 days late: please please please don't come I forgot to put lady things in my purse...
8 days late: Well this is odd.
9 days late: I am so glad I'm a virgin or I would actually be worried that I'm pregnant.
10 days late: I'm pregnant.
11 days late: (this is when all scientific knowledge/sanity goes out the window) I know I shouldn't have looked at that cute guy...
12 days late: Although on the upside, I could buy those cute little booties I saw in Target
13 days late: I'M THE VIRGIN MARY!!!!
Day it actually comes:...well that was anticlimatic.