"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Thursday, October 04, 2012

what about the menz!?: feminist backlash

Now Playing: Begin Again by Taylor Swift (I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end...but on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again)

The fact that there is a backlash against feminism proves that the feminist movement remains of vital importance and relevance to our society.

The first sign of this is the number of women who reject the label of feminist - because it's become a dirty word. To say that you're a feminist makes you undesirable and unfuckable. Trust me, I know. I have been told to my face that the reason that I don't have a boyfriend is because I am 'so openly a feminist'. It's like telling someone that they deserve homophobic violence because they are 'so openly gay'. And I take offence at that, seriously. It's like saying that I don't have a boyfriend because I'm Asian - and yes, people have told me that. It is such an essential part of who I am.

But I've always found it sad when perfectly rational people, even people who discuss with me the ongoing issues of sexism and misogyny in our society, react so negatively at the label feminist. It shocks and saddens me that people still think that feminists are man-hating, baby-killing lesbian freaks. It shocks and saddens me that, by standing up for what I believe in, I'm branded as some kind of psycho. Because the truth is...most people I know are feminists.

Once I explain to people for what feels like the millionth time what feminism and being a feminist is, they breathe a sigh of relief and say 'oh, well, I guess I'm sort of maybe a feminist kinda' - as in 'Oh my gosh, for a second there I thought you actually thought of me as a man-hating,baby-killing lesbian freak'. Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings. Feminism is the advocacy of political, economic and social equality between women and men. And a feminist is anyone who recognises the equality and full humanity of women and men. If you agree with all of the above...I hate to break it to you. But you're a feminist.

And I love you for it.

The biggest element of feminist backlash is what Anita Sarkeesian refers to as 'what about the menz!?' It is the false assumption that just because feminism is the promotion of women's rights and is a movement primarily comprised of women that we don't care about the plight of men or we want to take away male freedoms.

Uh, no.

Put it this way. If I spoke out against animal trafficking, I'm not saying that there is no such thing as human trafficking or child trafficking or sex trafficking or women trafficking. I'm just saying that animal trafficking exists and I want to do something about it.

Same. Freaking. Story.

Common 'what about the menz!?' things that people say:

1. Men get raped too.

Yes. I know. But not to the extent that women are. Female rapists are so extremely rare as to be statistically insignificant, and male-to-male rape statistics are lower than male-to-female rape, and in any case doesn't detract from the fact that rape is a male crime. And, statistics aside, men are never told that what they do/act/dress invites rape; they're never told to hide themselves or to act as second-class citizens to avoid rape - women are. The reason why feminists are primarily concerned with rape from a female perspective is because it ties up with the stigma of female sexuality, 'slut shaming', the idea that sex is for male pleasure only, the glorification of female virginity etc, and because the things promoted to 'avoid rape' infringe on a woman's basic human right to be who they want where they want doing what they want.

2. Women already have equality.

This one really confuses me.

Women are far from equal. Even in our privileged Western first-world society women earn 84% of a man's wage, and in some places in the US this is as low as 66%, are denied rights to paid maternity leave and subsidized childcare, the concept of marital rape is not accepted in society, and there are an endless number of taboos on female sexuality, virginity, anatomy and biological function. The portrayal of women in popular culture is largely limited to misogynistic cliches verging on soft porn and the pornography objectifies and dehumanizes women on a regular basis. There are so many rules on how a woman must look, act, think, feel, and we still all buy into the romance myth. There are so many contradictions in how women are treated - sluts are 'desperate' but virgins are 'losers', women 'don't like sex', but when one does they freak the crap out of their menfolk. Women are under-represented in the political spheres, in academia and science, on the corporate ladder and in public life, and the major religions still preach misogynistic messages based on outdated, sexist, 'traditional' gender roles.

And it really does go downhill from there. For example, in Saudi Arabia women are forbidden to drive, with religious clerics claiming that if women are allowed to drive there would be 'no more virgins and an increase in homosexuality' - I can't even begin to explain how fucked up this logic is. Women must cover from head to toe and are executed for 'being raped'. The Saudi Arabian government is currently deliberating over legislation to order 'attractive' women to cover their eyes if they are deemed 'tempting', and there is a Committee of the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice which constantly abuses human rights, especially concerning women. These women can't even think about the right to free marriage, to divorce, to reproductive rights, workplace equality...and they tell me we don't need feminism.

3. Men have it tough, too.

I know.

I know that whilst us girls are complaining about periods and bras and leg shaving and acne and the headache that is birth control boys are doing it tough, too. Body parts refuse to co-operate. Genitals engorge with blood for no apparent reason. Beards must be shaved despite a face full of painful hormonal pimples.

But at the end of this rough ride men acquire bodies that give them power. They acquire the physical presence that suits the high status of men in our society. They have the power to hit back. At the end of this rough ride for women, we become fair game - even more vulnerable than the children we used to be.

What about the menz!? is weak and pathetic. Feminist backlash as a whole is weak and pathetic. People can only criticize feminism by first incorrectly defining it as some grotesque cult, and even then you can't reject the logic of it. Feminist backlash is the childish insecurity caused by change that must happen because privilege is so often based on inequity. Men are not born inherently better than women. Society creates that void, not biology or sexuality.




No comments: