"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

we all need role models.

Now Playing: State of Grace by Taylor Swift (love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right)

It may have occurred to you, at some point, that I am a huge Taylor Swift fan.

I was first introduced to Taylor Swift in year eight, when someone sent me a low-quality version of Love Story. I didn't like it - mostly because it was low quality - but something about it stuck. I now have 3 albums and 102 songs on my iPod.

There are many reasons why I like Taylor Swift. Firstly I think she's talented and pretty and I admire her success. Secondly she does actually make some pretty good music, all you alternative hippies who  diss her because more than one person knows about her and I don't have to track down her albums on Etsy or in seedy alleyways in the red light district. But mostly it felt like someone understood all the million emotions that were racing through my head. For the first time I could read through the CD liners and see all my emotions, all my feelings, laid bare and clean and simple and pretty, not just a bunch of cliches. Taylor Swift was writing my life.

I'm the kind of person who listens to music in the bath, as I'm falling asleep, on the train, hiding earphones under my hair in particularly boring assemblies...and I remember everything. I remember when my year eight crush went out with someone else. Teardrops on my Guitar. I remember when he asked me out and I spent all weekend bouncing around singing Our Song thinking Everything Has Changed. I remember when I first got dumped and I couldn't believe anyone could be as Cold As You, you Should've Said No, and You're Not Sorry, and that was The Moment I Knew that you're just another Picture to Burn. I remember seeing all those Untouchable boys fall for the same girls and making the same mistakes and thinking that You Belong With Me. Every time someone tried to knock me down I picked myself up and reminded myself that things will Change. For all the times I kept myself Tied Together With a Smile when no-one understood. Knowing that I can't Breathe without you, but I have to. Even after all these years of being bullied I still remember to smile at those I love, and to remind them to Stay Beautiful. Taylor Swift was there when I was angry that someone would break A Perfectly Good Heart when you promised me Forever & Always. I drew I Heart Question Mark on the back of my hand every time the rumours got too much and everyone was being Mean. I remember cuddling my five year old niece and wishing beyond anything that she'd Never Grow Up. I have to keep telling myself that there's nothing wrong with trying to find A Place in This World, and that one day I will write The Story of Us. I had the comfort of knowing that it's okay to Jump Then Fall into Treacherous love when Sparks Fly, that you're not crazy when loving him was Red even though I Knew You Were Trouble, but the big thing to do after a Sad Beautiful Tragic love affair is to say We Are Never Getting Back Together, and then Begin Again. Because real love glows like Starlight and is a State of Grace, and I shouldn't always feel like I'm on The Outside wishing that you'd Come Back, Be Here. I Almost Do want to go Back to December and say that this love is Ours, it's too late for you and your White Horse to catch me now. This is The Last Time because you've got a Girl at Home and everybody knows that, but I'll always remember standing on Holy Ground with you. And one day I'll be able to say to someone who doesn't make me feel Invisible that when I was Fifteen I swore I was going to marry him someday, but I was Enchanted to meet you and this Love Story is the best thing that's ever been Mine and now I'm The Lucky One. But for now, graduation has made me hope that Long Live all the magic we made. Most of all, Taylor Swift inspired me to be Fearless.

In my school, it's not such a good idea to be a Taylor Swift fan. But I don't care. when I'm on the bus and I put my big clunky headphones on and hit my favourites playlist in a bad way, I'm happy.

We all need role models. Taylor Swift is my role model because she's a writer and she's made it big. Taylor Swift is my role model because she taught me you don't have to be pretty to be fearless, and even pretty girls get knocked down sometimes. Someone had the nerve to break her heart and someone had the nerve to break mine, but that doesn't mean it was okay and that doesn't mean we're both not amazing in our own way.

Last year a fourteen year old 'little monster' (Lady Gaga fan) took his own life because he was an out bisexual, liked Lady Gaga and 'feminine' things, advocated gay pride and was bullied for it. After his death the bullying continued. It breaks my heart that people drive other people to extremes through ignorance and violence. But the last thing Jamey Rodemeyer did was to tweet Lady Gaga, the 'mother monster', thanking her for being his role model and giving him strength. As much as I dislike celebrity culture, individual celebrities have the power to do great things, and to inspire people. Taylor Swift is my Lady Gaga, and we all need role models.

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