Things I Don't Get.

This world is such a strange place. Why do people do these things? These are a few of the many things I don't get:

Why did they cast such a beautiful actress as Anne of Cleves in The Tudors?. Anne is supposed to look like a horse - Henry VIII called her a 'Flanders Mare' and divorced her simply because she was strange and ugly (men haven't changed that much - if they had I would have a boyfriend). She's supposed to be ugly. In the series, she looks like a freakin supermodel.

Henry VIII is meant to be a redhead. In the new movie, The Other Boleyn Girl, he has very dark brown hair - almost black. Wtf?

Why do guys write such gooey romantic songs and croon them in a gooey romantic voice and make all us girls think that guys actually like gooey romantic stuff? Like Enrique Iggy-whatsie's (I can never spell his name) song 'Escape', which says 'you can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my love' about a zillion times - when do guys actually do that? It should be more like 'I will run, I will hide, because I hate your guts'. Because that's all I seem to get out of guys.

Why do men wear really crap deodorant and think it's so cool? It's disgusting. At least girl's deodorant is based on nice, sweet-smelling perfumes - men's deodorant smells like dog poo. Seriously. And there was this guy in my old school, he used to come to school with sunscreen half-smeared on his face every day, even when it was like raining cats and dogs. He thought it was so cool, but he looked like such an idiot. He was trying to hit on all the girls - it was actually really funny.

Has anyone ever seen those adverts in the margins of some websites of 'sexy singles in your area'? None of those 'sexy singles' were sexy, or in my area, and I doubt any of them are single.

Why do authors bother making up characters like Edward Cullen? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Edward Cullen, but he's a slow form of torture - he's so perfect. You read about all these romantic things he does and how sexily old-fashioned he is and all of that crap, and I'm like 'if I ever meet a guy like that I'll eat my dog'.

The things that other people don't get that I do:

Why Hitler, Pol-Pot and Mao are all men - because women aren't generally the mass murdering, insane psychopathic type, you know? And, at any rate, even if we were we weren't allowed to - because we were too busy being obedient and humble and all that crap to mass murdering insane psychopathic MALE idiots.

Why we do maths and science - because otherwise the unemployment rate would hit the roof.

Why pi is called pi - because the crazy weirdo who thought of it was hungry and can't spell.