Love has no because. If you can think of a sole reason why you love or hate someone; it's not proper.
I say this because love is not a rational, a conscious thing; which is why I've never fully been able to understand all the criticism I get for a) falling in love and b) very very rarely falling out of love. It doesn't always matter that he's a douchebag, that he treats you like dirt and only very rarely, in his Dr Jekyll moments, condescends to be nice to you, smile at you, do little things for you. It doesn't matter what he looks like or what he's gonna look like. It doesn't matter that he's completely, utterly inappropriate. None of this matters in true love.
We often forget this, because we often think that the above is hardly conducive to long-term relationships and marriage and family life, etc. And that's true - it's really not. But that's not what love is about, not in the beginning, anyway. It's a primal, uncontrollable attraction, and I don't think any amount of pragmatism or biology is going to affect that.
People these days are scared of love. Oh, they don't mind the kissy-kissy bit, but when it comes to the deep and dark and wildly passionate side, the side where life and death and love and hate all come together - it scares the shit out of people. People have never been forgiving of my passionate nature, and I resent that. I'm not obsessive; I'm not crazy or going mad. I'm human.
When I was younger my primary goal was to get anyone, absolutely anyone to love me for whatever mask I could produce for myself - and that was hard enough, I assure you. Two childishly horrible """boyfriends""" (they get three quotation marks, that's how insignificant it was) and countless unrequited loves later, and I've realized that the task is EVEN BIGGER: not to look, but somehow find, someone, but not just anyone, to love me the way I am. BLOODY IMPOSSIBLE, much, but hey, why not?
To be honest, it's kind of fun. I haven't been so liberated since I was five years old. I do what I like, when I like, and I don't care whether I look stupid or sexy or nerdy. It's self-indulgent and risky, but hey, maybe one day some dude will say 'I totally dig that chick running around barefoot with green goo on her face'. Maybe. I know I'm a little too much for some, but sometimes I just stare, tearstained, thinking we could have had it all....
Love gets me into a lot of trouble. It makes me do stupid things, forget who I am and degrade myself. But it also makes me fly, soar; sometimes it sets me free. Sometimes I hate it; sometimes I wish I could just lock my heart up until I'm older, less vulnerable; sometimes it makes me feel so sick I wish I'd never been born at all. Sometimes I feel like I'm too young, it's happening too fast, and nothing's happening the way I planned. But all the same, I am glad that I am human and that I can love.
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