Many people, especially the more religious/traditionalist/conservative sort, accuse feminists and feminism of muddling up gender roles. And perhaps we do. This isn't The Bible of Feminist Gender Roles, but simply my idea of them, as an unmarried, young feminist.
Most importantly, being a woman won't and shouldn't stop me from doing anything. I'm making it fine through high school, even though just 100 or less years ago (even today) women are denied even the basic right to primary and secondary education. I have all intentions of going to university, studying at a postgraduate level and establishing myself, somehow, as a writer and a teacher. Then again, I'm not the sort of woman who can completely turn her back on some more traditional aspects of femininity. I would love to be a mother, and I truly look forward to it. If I worked from home whilst raising a young family and my partner was the only one with a 'proper' job (lots of people use that word against me. Apparently I don't study 'proper' stuff and don't plan for a 'proper' job - but 'proper' is overrated) I would be completely fine with that - I think I'm educated enough not to see it as degrading. As long as it's my choice, and as long as, between then and now (I'm anticipating a good 10-15 years between then and now!) I can change my mind, if I want.
A true feminist (I say this because there are heaps of crazy people giving feminists a bad rep) do not consider men to be better or worse than women, or even the same as women. Men and women are equal, made equal, and should be considered equal. A truly balanced man in the eyes of a feminist is a father (if he so chooses), a husband, (if he so chooses), a friend, a breadwinner and a homemaker - in this order, although the latter can be swapped around. A truly balanced woman is a mother (if she so chooses), a wife (if she so chooses), a friend, a homemaker and a breadwinner - in this order, although the latter can be swapped around. I consider the roles of breadwinner and homemaker to be almost gender neutral and equally important to both sexes - I believe, especially in a relationship and especially in a marriage with children, that matriarch and patriarch should know how to capably earn their keep and run a house, whether they chose one or the other or both or neither, because shit happens - death, divorce, financial hardship, injury, unemployment. A truly capable man could hold his own if something happened to his partner. A truly capable woman could hold her own if somethihg happened to her partner. That is the aim of feminism - independence if necessary, companionship as a choice.
I do acknowledge, though, that for most women it is easier to be more a homemaker than a breadwinner, and for most men to be vice-versa - I understand the differences in gendered psychology. But it shouldn't tie us down, but rather help us make educated decisions. As a woman I consider myself perfectly capable in the professional and academic world, but also as a woman I don't know whether I would be entirely at home with the idea of me working full time and leaving my children with a stay-at-home father - it works for some women, but I don't know if it will work for me. I mean, how would I know? I haven't even had a proper boyfriend yet ;)
Feminism is a choice, but feminism is about choice. I don't believe that men and women should be locked in to a static and unchanging set of gender roles, because we're all different. I'm a very career minded person, so I want a very high-profile professional career whilst I'm still young (I don't want a family too young to tie me down), but I love the idea of later being a work-at-home mother (the joys of being a writer!) and then working again afterwards (old doddery people only get old and doddery because of an unused mind and body - Bob Hawke is eighty and sharp as nails!). So yeah, I want to flit in and out of the gender roles as I wish. I disapprove of people who look down on parents who choose to stay at home - lately this has been occurring not just towards stay-at-home dads but also houswives - but I personally grew up with both my parents working or studying full time and you know what? I turned out just fine. Maybe it's healthy to break the rules of gender every now and again. Because I subscribe to the theory that gender isn't just what's in your pants - we are all made up of man and woman in varying parts, just as we are all part straight and part gay. There are no absolutes in human sexuality - we should learn to accomodate that.
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