"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Saturday, August 20, 2011

What I've Been Up To.

I'm turning into a clucky teenager.

Don't worry, the next post won't be announcing my teenage pregnancy. It's just one of my obsessions; I have them from time to time - it's a form of autism. Babies, babies, babies.

It's also an important time in every modern woman's life: what happens next? Career? Family? Both? Neither? I'm going to get kicked out of school at the ripe old age of sixteen, and I'm trying to plot my life out. Five years this, four years that. Ten years here, eternity there. So I'm hacking it out, piece by piece.

School is okay. There's not a lot of 'homework', per se, in the humanities - just a complete mindscrew during school hours and some drousy researching at home (mostly on Wikipedia, which has a bad rep and is sooo underrated). Nothing's really HAPPENING, if you get what I mean? It slogs on. There are good days, bad days. Normal.

I've fallen out of love. It's a strange feeling - it's like gravity suddenly exists again. Things are normal, and not everything has a rosy tint to it. When you realise that the boy you have loved, on and off, from the age of thirteen is a douchebag; yeah, it's a litte funny. On the up side, it's warm enough to go tight-free! Yes!

People are starting to freak out about year twelve ball - mostly guys trying to get dates. This is where guys have the upper hand; at least they can ask. All I can do is hope. Which is sad, because you know what? I'm not really all that fussy. But, at the moment it looks like I'm going to have to knit Bella a tux and take her ;).

Lately I've taken to reading blogs - like actually reading blogs, not giving in to peer pressure and never ever reading them. I like to read other people's perspectives on life, especially women so different from me: at the moment I'm reading Karen Cheng, a Perth favourite, and an American blog called 'Passionate Homemaking', which is about conservative Christian homemaking (as you do). It's rather strange. At first I thought I would have nothing in common with homeschooled, give-it-all-up-for-the-LORD women. But it turns out that women are women, and there are some vague similarities despite religious differences, age gaps, etc. How bizarre. I watch Mama Natural because her son is the most adorable baby I have ever seen: Griffin Damascus, or GriffyD. Luckily, they don't post too often, and between the three blogs there are only maybe about five posts a week - and so after reading and watching all the archives I'm assured that this will not be too much of a timewaster. Otherwise, I can just stop; I stopped reading lots of things ages ago, and I stopped trying to track my cycles because it just doesn't work. I'm good with timewasters; I'm also good at losing them, too.

I am also knitting. Very badly. For charity. Enough said.

I've spent some private time mulling over the recent London riots - the who, what, when, where, why. It's all so confusing, because I don't think anyone, not even the rioters themselves, really knows what's going on - and that's what makes it scary. I love London; I love England, and I've never made that a secret - to me it's a place of incredible culture and history and excitement. But there's a darker side to it all, and I see that now. And I'm not quite sure what to think; I don't really know where my sympathies lie. I know from personal experience not to jump to conclusions; not to take sides without knowing all the nitty-gritty details. So I'm on the fence on this one.

I know I haven't responded to worms or continued my ROME series. I'm just not in the mood. I've been on a little poetry trail; I hope you guys like that; I know I do. Poetry always makes me happy ;).

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