Talk.

Now Playing: Environment by Franca and The Sound of Gravity (click here for really cool music from my classmates Franca, Harrison and Tobyn)

When I say I am very bad at keeping secrets, I'm only bad at keeping my own secrets. If you tell me something and tell me to keep it quiet, I can take it to the grave. Scout's honour.

I don't know why it's so hard to keep my own secrets. Partly, I think, it's because when there are secrets there's something preventing people from understanding me, and all I want is for people to understand me - which is why I have this blog, I suppose, and which is why I talk to people. It's also because when I have secrets I feel so incredibly vulnerable; if things fall around me, I have no one to turn to. At least if I tell one person, one person I know will never tell a soul no matter what, at least I have someone to hold me as I go under. But it's also because I'm just one of those people who needs to talk. I just have to...get it out, somehow, in some way. Blogging. Emailing. Talking to people, texting or facebook. Writing in my diary, publishing poems, listening to my life in songs. Anything. I need outlets; a lot of them. I don't know how to live without my heart on my sleeve.

We all want to be understood, but we all maim ourselves with our insecurities. This was the year when I decided fuck it, it's time to be brave - I have to be fearless. I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not; and this was the first year where I've had people genuinely love me for who I genuinely am, and it's beautiful. But if you genuinely love me, if you genuinely understand me, you'd know that I am the kind of person who needs to talk. We've never really had much time, and that's okay; quality over quantity and all of that. But it kills me when you keep your distance - not in a literal sense of the word, I'm sure you know what I mean. Can't we be as we were before?