"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Monday, February 21, 2011

Good Life Guilty

People, especially people who think that they've suffered so much more than others, think that depression is only justifiable in people who have been through really drastic things, like the Holocaust or something.

And sure, those people would be perfectly justified in suffering from depression or post-traumatic stress or whatever. But people have to remember that all people, from all walks of life, can suffer from depression, and they shouldn't be dismissed because their life seems so charmed.

Life is hard, whether you're starving in a lean-to in Afghanistan or if you're one of the world's richest, life is hard. Living through every day is a small miracle, and I think we're so out of touch with the fact. Every life, no matter the when and where, has its own set of challenges.

Often we judge the challenges of someone's life rather than the person living that life: something that one person can do blindfolded with their eyes closed is excruciatingly difficult for another. It's not about why you don't rise to the occasion, it's about if you can.

I know my life may seem charmed to most people. I'm young, I don't worry about taxes, and I live my life knowing that I'll always have food on my plate, a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on. I'm entitled to twelve years free education. I'm smart. The list goes on, blah blah blah.

And so people often say 'so what?' to my issues. They say that I'm being petty, that I don't try hard enough, I'm emo, ungrateful, blah blah blah. But as I've said over and over, nobody can truly put themselves into my shoes and tell me that every time I have cried myself to sleep was for naught. The only thing worse when you're young and vulnerable and feeling like your heart is going to explode out of your chest is when you're young and vulnerable and feeling like your heart is going to explode out of your chest and people are saying 'Get over it'. It was like they thought that if something was worse than what I was going through, it made my situation so much better. It doesn't. The presence of worse doesn't make bad any more tolerable. When I was scared about my operations, they'd tell me about really sick kids who had twenty a year and were still going to die. When I had my heart broken, they told me about people dying of AIDS in Africa. When I was being bullied they would tell me about students who had been thrown down stairs and spat on until they jumped off the roof. Pretty soon I felt like jumping off a roof, too.  

It's a waste of time trying to tell people you think have it so good about the people starving in Africa or how bad your life is in the days before iPods and running water. At best you'll just irritate the crap out of them, and at worst they'll suffer from what I call 'good life guilty' - when you feel bad, then you feel bad about feeling bad. It's a bit like people who say to new mothers that they have no right to be depressed after childbirth because they're blessed with new life, they've brought a new person into the world, they're lucky their child is healthy and normal, blah blah blah. Post-partum depression, like all forms of depression, can spring out of nowhere and in the most unlikely of circumstances and people. 

We are all human beings. All human beings have the right to be...human.

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