Take what is not yours,
Where's your dignity?
Take everything,
Leave me bleeding in shattered glass.
Take what is mine,
You've taken a piece of my heart,
You've taken more than you think,
You've got more of me than you bargained for,
Soul snatcher.
You're an intruder
Hearth and home,
Mine, not yours.
If you're God's sick twisted servant,
Then my Gods don't pity you.
A black heart is a death wish in the afterworld.
Your jokes have gone wrong,
Your humour's turned black,
Can't you see there's no laughing in the crowd?
There's no other way to put it,
I'm the victim now.
I thought we as a race
Were better than this.
Apparently I'm wrong.
Must we be martyrs
To do what is right?
Is evil still lurking
Like an intruder in the night?
3 comments:
Some powerfully vicious lines here:
"If you're God's sick twisted servant,
Then my Gods don't pity you.
A black heart is a death wish in the afterworld."
Jackals and wolves are everywhere.
But the moment we or others start thinking evil is an intruder - is the moment we are lost.
And the intruder as thief...
Lines like "Where's your dignity?" and "hearth and home" strike to the heart of the matter.
"Your jokes have gone wrong,
You're humour's turned black,
Can't you see there's no laughing in the crowd?
There's no way else to put it,
I'm the victim now."
Great except for the fourth line.
"No way else" seems like speech, or like archaic speech.
It sounded to me like "Nowhere else to put it".
(Poetic words are like money. You want to spend one dollar or five dollars for each word).
Very Jungian these last seven lines:
"I thought we as a race
Were better than this.
Apparently I'm wrong.
Must we be martyrs
To do what is right?
Is evil still lurking
Like an intruder in the night?"
Doing right and fighting for the right to life is the most powerful thing to do. The life force which cannot be sucked out by a Dementor.
Jung really got out "racial memory"/"collective unconscious". And it's in lots of myths and superstitions.
It's powerful; it's primitive; it's true.
Oh, and on "I'm Write" (great manifesto page by the way/artist's statement) you said you had known the difference between "your" and "you're" before you could explicitly explain it.
There's a "you're"/"your" clash where it could really affect the poem.
Pick up?
Fixed it. Late night, sorry.
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